Author's Note:
As often happens, I hear a song and a concept or a theme within captures my imagination which draws me back to Maiko.
He extinguishes the wall of fire he had created, frustrated with himself for trying to be that which he was not. Her voice rips him from his self-absorption.
"I know you've been secretly meeting with Ozai."
"Mai! Who did you hear that from?"
"Does it matter? Not from you."
He sees through her composure. He knows he is in trouble. He feels himself sinking and tries to claw his way out. "I know I keep screwing up, but, please, I…I love you, Mai…"
"I know. But lately I've realized that you love your secrets more. You'll have an easier time keeping them when you're alone."
His mind struggles to keep up even as he denies what is happening. "What are you telling me?"
"Goodbye, Fire Lord." She gives him a formal bow; then turns on her heel to go.
His mind screams in disbelief. She's leaving? He panics. "Mai, come back, I…I…I order you to come back!"
Her steps do not falter.
He slams his fist against his forehead. He mutters to himself, "Argh! Why would I say that? So stupid!"
Zuko opens his eyes. She had not yet crossed the length of the throne room. He jumps off the dais and takes off, shouting as he runs. "Wait! Mai, please! Wait!"
He catches up to her just before she reaches the heavy red curtains.
"Wait a minute, I beg you!"
His heart leaps when she stopped in her tracks. She turns on him, eyes blazing, though her expression remains blank.
He is three feet from her. His breath is ragged, heaving with emotion. Slowly he inches towards her to close the distance. He is unsure what to do now that he has managed to halt her exit. He forces himself to meet her gaze, cold, unrelenting, lethal. In that instance, he realizes she is serious. She is fully prepared to leave him. His heart sinks and his insecurities surface with a vengeance. Did she ever love me?
She continues to stare at him.
What do I tell her?
If you leave, you'll take away my only happiness. I'll wither and die. Nothing would make sense without you. There is so still much I want to share with you. I want to kiss you, caress you, feel you, and have you here beside me. I want to bury myself in you till everything fades away, my pain, my duty, my demons.
I can't lose you!
I'd give anything if you were to stay with me.
Pretend to love me and stay. I'll believe you. It won't change how I feel. I love you!
Please don't go!
His lips parted, but the words never came.
Her patience wore thin and her mask fell for an instance. Brilliant pain shone in her eyes.
Does she not want to go?
The moment passed. Abruptly, with a capacity he would never attain, she became an emotional void. She was gone though she was there.
The pain he felt intensified. His desperation doubled. He felt as if he were fighting for his life. Softly, barely audible, he begged. "Don't do this. Don't leave. Don't throw everything away because I've been stupid." His voice cracked. "There is so much still left for us."
He held his breath and waited for her to say something. Scream at me! Hit me! Be emotional! Do something! Please!
The ice shattered. He did not know, did not understand, the tailspin he sent her in. She lowered her head so that her bangs would obscure the emotions playing across her face. She pulled herself from the brink of oblivion and steadied her breathing.
He prayed as the seconds ticked away. Agni, let her give me another chance.
The storm abated. Collected, she looked up and took a step towards him. In a low voice, she said, "Tell me everything. Now."
He exhaled and did just that.
Author's Note:
This was inspired by the song La Nave del Olvido by José José. For the lyrics, and a side-by-side translation, go to http: [forward slash, forward slash] lyricstranslate dot com [forward slash] en [forward slash] la-nave-del-olvido-ship-oblivion dot html.
I find it ironic that the last time a song in Spanish moved me to write Maiko, I wrote it while I was thinking in Spanish. Translating it later into English took some time but was not impossible. Sadly, translating from English into Spanish is much harder.