Month XX, Day XX, Year 2013

Hello, little empty book thing that I have found on the shelf.

I'm Emil. Obviously.

Whether you like it or not, I will begin to write in you, Mr. Book. Why? Because no matter what my crappy brother says, I am NOT a child. There for, I may do whatever I want whenever I want. For example, write in you. Deal with it.

It's not like you really have a choice since you technically aren't alive. But that begs the question why am I talking to an inanimate object? Well I shall blame it on the possible chance of insanity. Which I blame on Kaoru. I guess it's only formal to introduce myself as your master, Mr. Book thingy. Why am I being formal to an object that can't communicate? Because it's very adulty-ish. Yes I do make up my own vocabulary. And no it's not in any way childlike. Anyways back to me. Ehem…

Name: Haven't we been through this already? My name is Emil. Not Emily, Emil-chan, Icey, Little Brother or any other crappy pet names you could possibly think of. I will not tolerate them. I already hear enough of these from my brother Lukas, his crappy friend Matthias, and Kaoru. You, my newly found diciple may call me Amazing Writing Master, Mr. Emil-Sama the Great, Great Magnificent Owner… are these too long? Well fine, just call me Emil, you lazy little piece of crap.

Appearance: Awesome. Or at least that's what Kaoru states. I will just leave you with this description because I believe that such a vivid portrayal of myself hits all my finer points. Also because I'm not one for bragging. Let's move along shall we?

Attitude: …I don't have an attitude. What were you expecting? Go away…

Age: Um… personal space please. But yeah I'm 17.

Height: 5'2…

Weight: Stalker much, Mr. Book?

Dis-Likes: As a know-nothing notebook, you're probably wondering why I wrote 'dis' in front of the word 'likes' correct? Well it's because I can think of more dislikes than likes from the top of my head. My main dislikes are: pet names, horrible cooking/cooking skills, being called cute, when birds talk too much, saying 'Big Brother', Danish people, Norwegian people who like cute things, people who are too depressed, people who are too happy, Asian people who are really touchy-feely, people that dislike licorice… let's shorten this list up with just 'annoying people?' Sure why not.

Dislikes: I had to cross out 'dis' because I already wrote my dislikes. My likes include: licorice, bow ties (don't judge me), Puffins (sometimes), auroras. I'll end this list here.

I could probably add more to this but I'll do that later. Actually I really don't know what I should write about- KAORU STOP READING MY BOOK. Sorry, I honestly don't know how he keeps getting into my house- KAORU LEAVE MR. PUFFIN ALONE. Ugh, whatever I'll just have to ignore him for now while I think about what to write- KAORU, NO FIRECRACKERS IN MY HOUSE. …You know what? I'll just write about that. I mean sure why not write about all the crap that makes up my best friend? I don't care if you think I'm girly; I own you, Mr. Book, so you have waaayyy more to be a shamed about. Besides there's no way he'll ever read you. Since he barely reads much besides manga.

Now… what am I going to title you? Since there's no way in hell that I'm going to write 'Mr. Book' on you cover. Because that would contradict my statement of 'Not being a child'. Well let's see. I could call you… No, but how about… Uh, maybe… No that's a crappy title… You know what? Screw this; I'm going to go make myself some brioche and licorice.

~Emil (Your master).

I'm ALIVE. Sorry about the few updates, I have a hectic life filled with personal shit. Like school.

Anyways, I'm starting this little journal drabble thing so most entries will be short from here on out... Maybe. Anyways, this is just Emil's POV on being around his best friend*crush* who's a complete psychotic pyro. Yeah... deal with it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Never will.