"Jutht a Day in the Life"
AKA: "Taking a dumb joke too far"

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

"Guuuhhh..." Mike groaned as his peaceful sleep was disrupted by the wretched noise of his alarm clock. The machine continued to beep relentlessly for a few seconds, until Mike managed the energy to flop his hand around on the clock enough to turn it off. Once the snooze button had been pressed he began to settle right in again, at least until he happened to catch a look at the digital display through cloudy eyes.

7:01 AM

"Ugh, of courth..." Mike groaned again. An hour and a half till school. No more time to sleep. Slowly he began to haul his barely-awake carcass out of the warm bed, sitting on the edge of the bed for a while before uneasily standing up. Like a mindless zombie, he began to walk towards his bathroom. Once he had dealt with the simpler needs, he hopped into the shower and spent the next half hour trying to prevent his sleepiness from making him fall.

Eventually the shower was turned off and the stream of water devolved into a steady drip. Mike, feeling much more awake by now, removed himself from the shower and quickly dried off before heading downstairs. As he descended the staircase, he could both hear and smell his mom frying bacon in the kitchen. Least this day has something to look forward to, he thought to himself as he reached the bottom.

"Morning mom," Mike said rather cheerily as he skirted around his mom, Ellen, cooking in front of the stove.

"Morning sweetie. Ready for school today?" His mom asked.

"Pssssh. Not at all," he replied as he retrieved a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator.

"Well I'm sure you'll do fine. You ready for the test?"

Mike had just began pouring himself a glass when he heard the question. Immediately he paused, realizing he had forgotten all about it. "Augggh, I totally forgot. Thith ith gonna be horrible..."

"Oh? Didn't you study?" she asked with a dubious tone.

"No, I did..." Mike answered as he resumed filling the glass, "but...thtill. Should've tried to remember it better, that'th all."

"Well whatever happens, good luck."

"Yeah. Thankth," he said, and with orange juice in hand, walked over to the table. He had sat down and started occasionally sipping from his glass when he realized there was nothing to do other than wait for breakfast to be ready. Not even Haley had came down the stairs yet. Thankfully there was a newspaper on the table in front of him, so he began to skip through until he had located the comics section, and began reading.

Once he was halfway through the page, Mike heard the sound of the staircase creaking and looked up to watch his sister coming down for breakfast. He initially ignored her, preferring to occupy himself with the remaining comics. She soon sat down next to him, and began eating from a bowl of cereal she poured for herself. At first she showed no interest in her brother, but eventually the cereal wasn't enough to fully occupy her, and Mike felt her eyes on him.

"Almost done hogging the comics?" she asked in a snooty voice that had become all-too-familiar for Mike.

Mike sighed. "Jutht gimme a thec. Almotht finished." To his surprise, Haley began to chuckle at this. "What'th tho funny?" he asked.

"Heehee. Your lisp's pretty bad today," she replied with a coy smile.

Mike's face flushed a deep red. "Wha... It ith? Mom?" he asked worriedly.

Mike's mom rolled her eyes, thankful to be looking away from them as she had heard this many times before. "Honey, it's the same as it's always been."

"You sure?"

"Yes."

Mike breathed a sigh of relief, then immediately turned to his bratty little sister. He didn't say anything, hoping the glare he was giving her was enough to get the message across. "Fine, sorry," she admitted. "Now how bout the comics?"

"Got everything?"

Mike sighed. "Yeth Mom."

"Just making sure," she said before planting a kiss on her son's head. "Have a great day."

While Haley giggled relentlessly behind him, Mike finally stepped out the door, eagar to be out of the house for once. For a second he paused to breathe in the air, then set off down the sidewalk towards the high school.

It was an average August day in Roseville. Nothing terribly exciting, but to Mike, with his birthday a week away, couldn't help but be a bit excited. He didn't have much planned out. Maybe a day at the arcade with Paulo on the weekend, but not much else. Just as well, as his actual birthday was on a school day.

As he continued walking, Mike noticed the outline of someone in the distance. As he drew closer he began to squint, and quickly realized it was one of his friends, Daisy. His speed increased as he began to catch up to her. "Hey! Daithy!" he called as the distance rapidly closed.

Upon hearing her name called (albeit badly) Daisy turned around. "Mikie!" she exclaimed happily, pausing to let him catch up. "You're up early today."

"Heh, yeah I gueth," he chuckled. "Th'pose I couldn't wait to get away from my thtupid thithter. Where'th Abbey?" he asked, as Daisy was usually seen walking to school with him.

"Dunno. Running late? He's been pretty stressed out lately, so..."

"Hmm. How bout Paulo?"

"Saw him head around the corner just a minute ago."

"Should we go meet up?" he offered.

Daisy seemed to grow tense at the idea, shifting her gaze away from Mike. "Uhhh...maybe not."

"Why not?"

"Well, you can...I kinda want to go over the stuff for the upcoming test alone. You ready for it by the way?"

Mike could easily tell she was hiding something, but the subject had already been changed, and to probe now would be rude. "Ehh, kinda. Ran over quite a bit of it thith week, but I forgot to thtudy latht night."

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure at least someone forgot to do it altogether," she joked.

The two continued talking about mostly useless things for the next few minutes, such as the weather, or teacher preference, until Mike decided it would be worth seeing what Paulo was up to. "Well, I wanna talk to Paulo a bit. Thee you there, alright?"

"Oh, alright..." Daisy answered, slightly disappointed. "See you there."

"Later Daithy!"

"Hey Paulo!"

Paulo turned around to look behind him, smiling a bit as he saw Mike heading his way. "Hey dude. How's your day so far?"

"Eh, not tho good," Mike replied, huffing a bit as he caught up to Paulo, who hadn't slowed down for him like Daisy did. "Forgot to thtudy latht night."

"Study for what?"

"The tetht?"

Paulo's eyes shrank. "Aww shit, you mean the test is today?"

"Yeah...why? You didn't know?"

"No! Crap, I thought it was next week!" Paulo replied, adopting a frantic tone to his voice.

Well I knew Daisy was right, but...Paulo of all people? Mike thought to himself as he watched his best friend freak out in front of him. "Theriouthly?" he asked, only to have his scarf violently grabbed by Paulo.

"Hey man, you gotta help me. Something, please, I don't want to fail!"

"Eathy, eathy," Mike said calmly, attempting to remove Paulo's hands from his treasured scarf. "Look, I'm thorry, but it'th a bit too late now. Jutht try to remember ath much ath you can?"

Paulo slowly withdrew his hands from Mike's scarf, transferring them to his head instead. "Well...shit. You mind if we talk about something else?" he asked, looking up. "I'd rather not think about this right now.

"Heh, sure. You hear about the new Duty Callth game?"

To Mike's surprise, Paulo was well-versed on the game and the two quickly slipped into a deep discussion about it. They spent several minutes discussing it and similar games, but the high school eventually came into view. This was hardly a deterrent though, and they only separated once it was finally time to go to class. By now Mike was feeling a lot more upbeat. Something he'd need to get through the uneventful school day.

And so, the school day began. Like a robot, Mike went along with it, mindlessly going along with the the classes like he had done for years now. The test wasn't until later in the day, so he pushed the thought of it to the back of his head while he attempted to focus on whatever his teachers were trying to drill into his mind.

The lack of interest at least caused the hours to fly by for Mike. What was actually hours felt like minutes, and he found himself a bit surprised when the lunch bell finally rang. Still, he was eager for a chance to talk to his friends, which he hadn't done since school began. He hurried to the cafeteria and quickly grabbed a tray full of whatever was being served that day before heading off into the mass of students to find his friends.

Mike knew where he was going though, and soon he came across a familiar table, all his friends sitting around it as usual. No one paid mind to him as he approached, except Sue as he began to sit down between her and Paulo. "Hey Mike."

Mike smiled. "Hey Thue. How'th it been?"

"Eh, same old. Pretty boring," Sue replied somewhat tiredly. "Wouldn't be quite as bad if everyone talked rather than mope around." she added in a low voice.

"Hmm, yeah," Mike said, looking around the table. It was hard to notice at first, but the scene at the table had gradually deteriorated. At one point everyone had been more than happy to chat about various things, but people had left, and some seemed to grow apathetic to each other. Or in cases like Abbey and Paulo, outright hatred. Another was Paulo and Daisy. Once good friends, they had mysteriously stopped talking to each other a few weeks ago. He would've liked to know why, but it wasn't his place to ask, and he had a few ideas anyway.

Instead, Mike attempted to converse with his friends. Mostly Sue, since Paulo was frantically trying to solve crudely-drawn equations on a napkin, Abbey and Daisy were more occupied with themselves, and Amaya wouldn't talk anyway. Minutes passed with the two seldom doing more than talking or eating. Eventually Paulo joined in (to Sue's annoyance), having given up on trying to squeeze in practice for the upcoming test.

Unsurprisingly, Paulo and Sue soon got into an argument. Neither of them particularly liked each other, so it was only a matter of time till it happened. Mike attempted to block it out, focusing instead on the few scraps of food left on his tray while two good friends of his verbally wrestled with each other from both sides of him. Thankfully it never turned into a shouting match, but the vitriol was still there, and Mike eventually decided it was worth stepping in.

"Hey, guyth? You realithe thith won't get anywhere, right?" Mike offered. He received dirty looks from both, but they begrudingly went silent.

"Well," Sue finally spoke up, "I gotta use the bathroom. Class is gonna start soon, so I guess I'll see you guys later."

Mike gave a small wave as Sue walked off, before glancing up at the clock. Only a few minutes until lunch was over. He attempted to make small talk with Paulo in the time being, but it flew by quickly, and soon the bell rang. Regretfully he got up, waving goodbye to his friends for the time being, and set off towards class.

Next up for the school day was the seemingly-simple math test. Mike was confident in his ability, though his forgetfulness the previous night left his confidence slightly shaken. But once he had taken his seat and the test set in front of him by the teacher, there was nothing he could do but force himself to focus on it.

Minutes ticked by slowly for Mike, who was having more trouble with the problems than he expected. Whether it was his failure to study, or just the natural difficulty of the questions he didn't know. Ignoring these thoughts, he pressed onwards, until a timer on the teacher's desk went off and the teacher in question began gathering up finished (or in Mike's case, semi-finished) tests.

"Alright everyone, you will receive the results of your tests on Monday," the teacher droned on. "For now I'll let you out early, have a good weekend."

Mike hurriedly packed what few things he had brought, then finally stood up, heading out into the hallway alongside the rest of the mass of students. Only a few more classes left in the day, and then he'd finally get to go home.

"I'm home!"

"Welcome back, dear!" Ellen called from the kitchen as she heard her son's voice. "How was school?"

"Meh, boring ath usual," Mike responded, partially removing his backpack. "Ith dinner almotht ready?"

"Nah, it'll be a while longer. I'll call you when it's ready, go relax for a bit."

A small smile formed on Mike's face, but he didn't say anything else as he ascended the staircase to the second floor. The day had seemingly gone by quickly, leaving him no time for video games or a quick talk with Sandy. Finally a chance to do all that, he thought as he walked into his room and flopped on the bed.

After lounging on his bed for a short minute, Mike began to settle in, closing the door and throwing his backpack to a corner of the room to be forgotten until the start of next week. He pulled his phone from his scarf and returned to laying on the bed. He flicked through the phone a bit before he found what he was looking for and put it by his head while he waited for the dial tone to end.

"Maishul?"

Mike grinned as soon as Sandy's voice entered his ears. Maybe he was just biased, but it was ridiculously smooth, like audible silk if it was a thing. "Hey, Thandy. How've you been?"

A cute giggle entered Mike's ears as Sandy received confirmation it was indeed her boyfriend on the other end. "Aww, I've been doing great! How bout you?"

Mike shrugged to himself. "Meh. Thchool'th been boring recently. Birthday'th coming up thoon, but not much elthe going on."

"Right that reminds me. Got a little something planned for after your birthday," Sandy replied, somewhat mischeivously.

Mike perked up immediately. "Really?"

"Yep!" Sandy said happily. "Can't tell you anything, but it won't be until a week or two after your birthday. And happy early birthday by the way! Probably gonna be busy that day..." she added, no longer quite as bouncy.

"Eh, it'th okay. Thometimeth jutht hearing your voithe ith enough..." Mike said dreamily.

"So is hearing your lisp," Sandy teased. "It's pretty cute!" she added, eliciting a blush from Mike.

"Heh...yeah," Mike replied, trailing off slightly. He had began to remember something: A drastic drop in the frequency of calls and texts from Sandy, to the point where he was surprised he was able to get ahold of her this time. So far it hadn't been terribly bad, but no way they'd be able to go on like this forever. He had to say something. "Hey...Thandy?"

Sandy said something in response, but Mike didn't hear it. His bedroom door had been violently thrown open and his sister rushed in, loudly (and probably purposefully) proclaiming that dinner was ready.

"Haley!" Mike snapped. "Don't you know how to knock?" Haley's only reply was a knowing grin, almost completely confirming that the rude and sudden intrusion was deliberate. She left his room wordlessly, leaving him in peace yet again, but by now it was too late. It would have to wait. "Hey, uhhh. Thorry about that...Dinner'th ready, tho. Bye for now then."

"Aww, okay. Bye Maishul!"

"Yeah. Love you!" Mike replied, sounding a bit weaker than he intended. Sandy didn't seem to notice or care there, and the two finally hung up. He removed himself from his bed and began walking out into the hallway, just in time to hear his mom call his name, as if Haley's sudden surprise wasn't enough.

Once dinner was over, Mike returned to his room. There was still a good half hour before bed, so he considered calling Sandy back. Although, doing so twice in such a short time frame, and at such a late hour made him reconsider. He didn't even know if she'd still be there. Still, he briefly checked his text messages, not at all surprised she hadn't sent him anything since. Instead, Mike loaded a video game into his console and sat down on his bed, hoping it would provide a suitable distraction.

Though as he played, Mike found his character was dying a lot more often than usual. He attempted to really put himself to it, but he just couldn't focus very well. Usually he tried not to dwell on things, but his talk with Sandy earlier had made him unable to shake several things. His friends. His girlfriend. His past mistakes. They didn't eat at him like they had done many times before, but rather slightly pester him, until finally he threw down his controller and turned the console off. "I can't do thith," he whispered to himself.

For a moment Mike sat there, head in his hands, until a thought struck him. No, this was silly. There'd always be more chances, even if Sandy took her sweet time in lending him that chance. He'd just have to make sure not to waste that chance when it came. As for his friends, it wasn't his place to interfere, only help them if need be.

Deep down, Mike knew this sudden epiphany was really only fantasy. But it was enough to calm him for now. For now the priority was sleep, as he had no intention of doing anything else now. Slowly, he slipped into his comfy bed after turning off the light, and began to gradually drift off.

Perhaps tomorrow will be better...

Confused? The joke is that during a not-so-recent drawstream, Taeshi implied Mike might have a lisp. Naturally, the best way to joke about this was making an entire fanfic about it. I would've uploaded this sooner, but I decided to get an editor for it and...well...it just took a while, to put it simply.