I don't think I've ever managed to write a happy Sherlock fic. Hope you all enjoy it.
Disclaimer: I do not own BBC Sherlock or its characters.
There are too many people in Rosie's house. It is quite troubling. They wear black suits and dresses and crowd into the chair room. She knows some of them, like the lady who gave her a lolly at daddy's office. Others are strangers, which she is not supposed to talk to.
Rosie peeks between the bars on the stairs that lead up to her and Daddy's room. This is where she and Nana play Spy, and they sneak up on Daddy and Beebee when they come home from the work.
Rosie has trouble sneaking now because the pink cast on her leg makes too much noise. Even now she thumps, thumps, thumps down the stairs in an awkward rhythm. She keeps both hands on the railing so she won't fall. She falls a lot because she gets dizzy and her head hurts and she can't see very well, but she's getting better. She can make it down the stairs by herself now.
Nana waits at the bottom and takes her hand. Nana wears black too. She had to help Rosie this morning because her dress had buttons in the back that she couldn't reach. The dress is itchy, and bunches up under her arms and she sweats under the stocking on her right leg. The pink cast goes up to her knee on her other leg so she can't wear both stockings. Nana said she looked pretty. Rosie does not feel pretty. Pretty is smiles and bows and color. Not pretty is black and crying and hurt. Everyone says she looks pretty. Except Beebee. He didn't say anything when Rosie asked, just adjusted the black bow so it wasn't crooked no more. Everything is crooked nowadays. She feels like she is tilting on a boat, just one false step from tumbling.
Everyone smiles, but the smiles are crooked, like Beebee does when he doesn't want to get in trouble. Their eyes don't wrinkle.
Rosie cranes her head to try and find the curly black hair. Beebee has such pretty hair. But he does not like her to play with it because she pulls too hard. She puts pretty clips in it though.
She tugs on Nana's sleeve. "Where's Beebee?" she says.
Nana looks around too, then she nods towards the hall to Beebee's room. His door is open, but the loo shut. She starts to slide her hand away from Nana so she can wait outside the door, but Nana does not let go. Rosie frowns and looks at her and tugs her hand.
"Why don't we give him a few minutes?" Nana says and rubs Rosie's shoulder.
"I want to help," Rosie insists. Beebee does not let her help much anymore. He keeps his doors shut, like Queen Elsa did with Anna. Rosie feels like she's always knocking. Beebee never knocks for her.
When Nana shakes her head again, Rosie huffs and hobbles to the green chair. She likes Daddy's chair better because it's soft and warm, but after Rosie came home from hospital, Daddy's chair was gone. She asked Beebee where it went, but all he said was that he would get her a new one. He hasn't.
Dr. Molly, in her black dress, carries a pot of something steamy and it smells good. Now this is getting out of hand. Why is Dr. Molly wearing black? Rosamund is truly starting to hate - H-A-T-E - the color black. Daddy always tells her that HATE is a big word. He says it is okay to have big emotions. He gets big emotions too. But Rosie has to think about them before she says something that she cannot take back. Someone might get their feelings hurt.
She still feels sorry that she said she hated Daddy. He took away her favorite toy because she made a big mess in the kitchen. He put her in time-out and she couldn't have screen time for several days. She told him she didn't mean that she hated him, and Daddy said he forgave her. Hating wasn't unforgivable.
Rosie knows down to the tips of her toes that she hates the color black.
Dr. Molly is not wearing her cosy jumper. She always wears pretty, pretty jumpers all the time. Black is a yuck color on her. Rosie does not say hello.
Uncle Greg follows behind Dr. Molly. He carries white flowers. Nana takes them from him and adds them to the growing pile on the table.
He sees Rosie and she twists her body and hides her face in the chair. She can smell Beebee's perfume in the leather. A heavy weight drops down beside her.
"There's my Rosebuddy!" Uncle Greg growls and hauls her into his lap. Rosie squeals and twists and wriggles to avoid tickles.
Uncle Greg kisses her cheek and she squeezes him tight. He sits back so he can look at her. She loves her Uncle Greg more than the other one. She told him so. And he told her that she was his favorite. He always hugs her and brings her treats. Even now, he hides both hands behind his back.
Rosie puts one finger on her chin like she's seen Beebee do, and watches her uncle's eyes. Beebee taught her that whenever Uncle Greg lies, he tends to bite his cheek and look away from the right answer.
She points to his right hand, and Uncle Greg shakes his head and bites his cheek.
She grins and grabs his arm and pulls as hard as she can and he grunts and puffs, but Rosie knows she is strong and pulls his hand out. His hand is clenched tight around the prize but Rosie pries his fingers open and there it is!
A blue bow with a flower in the middle. She smiles for real because it is such a pretty color. It's better than pink, because her cast is pink and she is sick of that color. She wants it off her leg. She tried to take it off a few days ago with scissors, but Nana caught her and spanked her. She is not allowed to handle scissors without Nana or Daddy present.
This pretty blue bow is the best color. It's not sad. It is the color of the sky. Uncle Greg fixes it to her hair, pins it back on the right side of her head and kisses her cheek again.
"Am I pretty?" she says, because she has to know. Uncle Greg won't lie to her.
He picks her up when he stands, and this high, she should be able to look in the mirror above the mantel, but just like Daddy's chair, it was gone when she came home. She asked Beebee why, and he told her that it got broke. Beebee doesn't lie to her, but she knows there is something spicious about the mirror's disappearance, because the one in the loo is gone too. Spicious is the word that Uncle Greg uses when he's talking about something that seems out of the ordinary.
Uncle Greg squeezes her tight and looks her right in the eye. "Honey, you are so pretty," he says. "But you are also so smart like your Beebee and so brave like your Daddy. And we need princesses like that."
Rosie buries her face in his shoulder. "Would you marry me?" she asks.
He laughs. "I would, but Stella'd have my head if she knew I had another lady in my life."
Rosie thinks about this. "Well, if Stella dies too, then I'll get to marry you."
He blushes pink like a rose, and his eyes shift like marbles rolling. "I'd, er, well... We'll see."
Uncle Greg's head turns, and the room hushes. Rosie twists and at last sees the curly dark hair. Beebee wears black too, but he always wears black, because that is his work suit. Daddy says he likes to be fancy for his clients. This time though, he wears a necktie. Nana must've made him. His face is smooth again. At breakfast he still had a scratchy beard, and it tickled Rosie's cheek when she hugged him. He frowns at the room, eyes scanning corner to corner.
Beebee does not being around people. Daddy says he's just not a people person. Rosie likes that saying. It makes her think of a person with a bunch of people stacked on top of him.
She wriggles down from Uncle Greg's arms and hobbles to him. He blinks and looks down at her, eyebrows making a squiggle and his mouth tightens. Rosie hugs his leg because that is as high as she can reach. She can reach her arms all the way around. Beebee is very tall. Daddy says he's not as tall as he seems, but Rosie knows better because Daddy is very very tall and Beebee towers over him.
Beebee's hand rests in her hair. She looks up. "Uncle Greg gave me a bow," she tells him.
Something is wrong with his eyes. They look too big for his long face. He touches the bow and his frown softens. He bends down and picks her up. Beebee is all bones, not like Daddy. Daddy is best at snuggles in his chair. She said so, and Daddy made her go sit with Beebee because she hurt his feelings.
It's still not good. Beebee is stiff and his shoulder digs into her cheek. All hard edges like a countertop. She squeezes her arms around his neck to show that she still loves him. She wishes he would hug her like Daddy.
"Grandma called," he whispers low in her ear. "She and Grandpa will be here soon."
"Do you like my bow?" she says.
He looks, but he doesn't see. "Uh-huh."
"Uncle Greg gave it to me."
Beebee looks over her head and Uncle Greg smiles and walks towards them.
"I've told them not to..." Uncle Greg keeps his voice low. "Any-anything you don't feel like doing, you know."
Beebee nods while looking at the floor. Rosie looks too to see if there is something there.
"We'll follow the hearse from here. Police escort."
"I know."
Uncle Greg grips his shoulder. "You'll let me know if you need to leave, yeah?"
Beebee rolls his shoulder away from Uncle Greg's hand. He lifts Rosie away, and she whines and tightens her good leg around him.
He won't look at her. "Rosie, come on."
"No."
Uncle Greg curls both arms around her and Beebee takes her hands off his neck. "Go with Lestrade."
She grabs his shirt. He is not listening to her! Why won't he listen? "Why?" she yells.
"Ey." Uncle Greg hoists her up. "Inside voice."
She twists her head around to try and grab her Beebee again but he is gone. She turns to Uncle Greg again and wriggles. She can usually get put down if she squirms enough, but he's got a tight hold on her this time. If she was bigger, she could punch him and make him put her down. But hitting is bad.
She points after her beebee. "I don't want to!"
"I know," he nods. "But he needs alone time."
She shakes her head. No he doesn't. She is his favorite person. He said so. Her first best friend after Daddy. Why would he not want her with him anymore? He always wants her with him, except at crime scenes, which Daddy says she's too little for. If Daddy were here, he would point his finger and tell Beebee that he is being mean.
Why won't Daddy just walk in through that door and make everyone go home? They would play doctor and he would say she doesn't have to wear the cast no more. He would kiss her eye better and magic heal it. And they would sit down and play cluedo with Nana, and Rosie would win because she is the best at that game. And Beebee would smile again.
But Beebee said Daddy won't come home, because he is going into the ground today.
-x-
Rosamund has been to the cemetery before. It was during the day, when the ghosts were all asleep. She and Daddy walked down a path to a black stone under a tree. Daddy said her mummy had passed away when Rosamund was a little baby, and that she was in Heaven. Rosie knows that her mummy is under the black stone, but her eyes got put in the sky. Daddy laid flowers on the black stone and Rosie set a card next to the flowers. It was a piece of pink construction paper from her daycare on which she had drawn a rainbow and a smiling sun. It's what Heaven is supposed to look like.
Daddy's eyes are in Heaven too, is what Nana said. Rosie drew a picture of him, but she got his wings wrong. So she keeps it folded up so no one can see what it looks like. She doesn't know how to write yet, so she asked Nana if she would write her letter to Daddy. Rosie signed it though. She knows how to write her name. Her letter and picture will be buried with him.
Mummy's stone looks the same as it did before, maybe a a bit dirty from rain and leaves, but her name is still in bright gold letters.
A shiny twin stone sits beside hers, with a deep, black hole punched in the ground.
Just like home, there are too many people here. So many blurring faces in a sea of black.
Her Grandma and Grandpa are here. Grandma's eyes get watery when Rosie hugs her.
"You're looking so much better darling," she says.
She and Grandpa were at the hospital the first few nights. They took turns reading her books. Then Beebee made them leave. He is not very nice around Grandma. Rosie likes their house out in the country. They got a swing for her for when she stays with them over the weekend. And Grandpa reads to her with all his funny voices, and Grandma makes the best pies. She always smells like the food she bakes. It's a good smell.
She holds Grandma's hand and helps her walk. She and Grandpa stop. They look confused. A man steps out of a black car. He does not wear black. His suit is blue. An umbrella hangs from his arm, even though it is sunny. Rosie scrunches her nose. She knows this umbrella man.
"Did he say anything to you?" Grandma says.
Grandpa shakes his head.
Grandma huffs. "It wouldn't hurt to call ahead, would it." She sees Rosie looking. "You remember Uncle Mikey don't you?"
Rosie hides her face in Grandma's leg. Yes. She remembers Mr. Mycroft.
Grandma strokes her hair. "Say hello, Rosie."
She does not.
Mr. Mycroft is an odd fellow, like Daddy says. Beebee says he is a nuisance. Rosie thinks so too. He always carries an umbrella with him, even when it is sunny. Rosie knows he does not like her. He never smiles, and looks at her as if she is annoying him even when she is just sitting and not making any noises. At Christmas she drew a picture of him and he told her that her lines were not straight and that it looked nothing like him.
Rosie keeps her hand on Grandma's skirt. She tries to stop her from hugging Mr. Mycroft. She might turn to stone. Grandma hugs him, and he winces and does not hug her back. He shakes Grandpa's hand. He does not look at Rosie.
"I won't be staying," he says. He holds out the rose.
Grandma crosses her arms. "You knew him for as long as Sherlock. I should say you very much owe your time to him."
"We - " His blue eyes lock onto Rosie. Beebee has similar eyes, but he does not look like he is looking into you. Mr. Mycroft's eyes want to turn her to stone, like the monster in the book. She quickly looks away.
"We owe nothing to the dead, Mother."
Grandpa takes Rosie's hand. "Let's give them some privacy shall we?"
Rosie nods and follows him. Papa swings her hand.
"Did my daddy give Mr. Mycroft money?"
Grandpa raises an eyebrow. "Oh surely not. Mycroft never accepts money."
"But he owes him. Money," she clarifies. "He can give me the money and I'll promise him that he doesn't owe Daddy anymore." She would hide it in her secret place until her daddy came home.
Grandpa shakes his head. "Oh, no, no. Not money. Your father did a big favor for Mycroft. So now he feels like he has to repay him."
"With money?"
"What does a rambunctious tyke like you want with money?"
"Nana talks about rent a lot."
"Well you won't have to worry about that for a while. No, your uncle Mycroft thinks he has to do a favor for your father, because he did a favor for him."
"What favor?"
Grandpa crouches in front of her. He taps her nose and she looks right at him. "He took very good care of your Beebee for us."
"When?"
"Since before you were born."
Her eyes widen. That is a very long time.
Grandpa is frowning. Beebee is sitting on a stone bench beneath a tree talking with a general. He looks like a soldier. Blue hat on the side of his head, and fancy gold shoulder hats. He has medals over his coat too. Rosie's daddy was a soldier. He fought bad guys.
Grandpa lets her lead him over to the soldier man. She hugs Beebee's leg.
"Rosamund," he says softly. "Say hello to James."
She peeks up. This close, she sees that there is something wrong with the soldier's face. The skin is wrinkled and pink on one half. His eyes look like clouds. Sad.
He holds his hand out. Rosie takes his hand and he shakes hers.
"Hello Rosamund," he nods. "It's an honor to meet you."
She sucks on her lower lip. "Are you a soldier?" she says.
He nods. "I was. I started out with your father when he was a soldier."
"Did the bad guys hurt you?" She points. But then she remembers that pointing is rude, so she puts her hand down.
"In a way," he says stiffly.
"Do you have a gun?"
"Yes," he says.
"My daddy has a gun. I got to hold it. You're not supposed to ever point it at anyone."
"That's... very smart of him to teach you that." He looks away from her.
Grandpa says it's time for the funeral to start. So he leads her away from them. Everyone gather around the black box above the deep black hole in the ground. A man in a white gown gives a speech and reads from the Bible, which is a book about stories of God and Jesus. He talks about Heaven, and Rosie likes how he describes it, and why her daddy was brave and will now watch over his loved ones.
Tomorrow morning, she will wake up and Daddy will be watching her and she will jump up and spank him because he took much too long to get home. But then she will kiss him because he is home and that is all that matters. He'll make her leg better and her eye.
At the very back of the crowd, Mr. Mycroft and Beebee stand. Mr. Mycroft looks bored, but Beebee looks like he will crumple.
Lots of people say goodbye to the black box. Grandma leads Rosie to the front and together they lay flowers on the headstone.
The rest shuffle up to the box one by one, and leave in the order they come. In the end, Rosie and her family are left.
Beebee does not lay a flower on the grave. He presses hand on the stone, and kneels in the soft earth, his back slumped over. Mr. Mycroft stands at his side again. Rosie sits with him, playing with the grass.
She looks at the headstone, her father's name etched deep into the black rock. She will take care of her Beebee. At least until Daddy comes home from Heaven.
He will be like a bright comet zooming through the sky. Daddy took her to the museum once and they saw all the stars in the sky. He will be the brightest one of all.
This entire story will be divided into three chapters. Each will be a different part of Rosie dealing with the death of her father.
If you liked, please review!