Prompt one: I can't do this anymore.
'I can't do this anymore.' The thought was fleeting, only lasting a moment, and Aya clenched her eyes shut, pushing the thought out. Was she feeling defeat? She had shut down all emotions, all feelings. She shouldn't of had that thought. But yet, she had it, and now it was there. The thought would linger until she dispelled the good argument it brought up.
The problem wasn't the manhunters. The manhunters obeyed her every command, were loyal to her every order. It wasn't hard to rule the machines, because contrary to Aya first belief, they couldn't overcome their orders to obey. Aya no longer minded though. It made her job easier when no one around her had feelings. Feelings confused everything.
Feelings weren't the problem either. She realized how hard her life had been only several weeks earlier, when her life had been full of feelings. Pain, happiness, love, heartbreak, anger, sadness. Now those were just words to her, she no longer felt them. Once in a while, a glitch in the new programing would allow her to feel something, but the glitch was easily fixed, and once again, the feelings were nothing but words.
Well, maybe feelings were part of the problem. More then once in a while, she felt the feeling of longing. Although she had often dispelled the feeling, she felt it nonetheless, and it felt almost as bad as heartbreak. Like she was on withdrawl from a lifesaving drug, and she needed it so badly. She longed for feelings. She longed for happiness.
Like somehow, you wish you could have the bad back, so you could have the good too.
And then there was Razer. He was part of the problem also. He couldn't make up his mind, couldn't say what he meant, couldn't stop toying with her emotions. She had tried to be human for him. She had tried so hard. She had tried so hard that it hurt. He had told her that he loved her. He had almost kissed her. He had held her in his arms. He had admitted that he couldn't lose her. Yet, when she came back to the ship, she had expected him to be relived. Yet...he wasn't. He went back on everything he said, and admitted that he had never loved her.
So do you let the feelings back in? Do you let the hurt back in; just so you can feel the love and happiness again?
What do you do?
Should she let Razer back in?
All Aya knew, was that she couldn't do it anymore.