A/N: So I don't really know what I've gotten myself into here…this was supposed to be a one shot, but I think it'll be at least three or four chapters, depending on how it progresses. Anyway- this is loosely based on the latest manga chapters (392&393) so there may be spoilery but I'm not sure. Just wanted to warn anyone just in case; that and I don't own Bleach or its characters, and there will be OOC-ness. I apologize in advance if it stinks.
Rangiku sat at her captain's desk, stacking the endless forms into two piles; complete and incomplete, curling her lower lip into a pout when she realized the complete pile was significantly shorter than the incomplete one.
"Dammit." She grumbled to no one, shifting her eyes from one stack to the other. "And here I thought I actually made a dent." In the midst of her grumbling the woman did not hear the door to her division's office open and was startled to see Izuru Kira standing before her.
"Hey Rangiku-san" He said flatly; his hands steepled together as he bent his head slightly in greeting. "Working through paperwork I see?" Izuru was not one for scintillating conversation, more like an observer of the obvious.
"Honestly, who invented paperwork and why is there always so much of it?" The ginger-haired woman rolled her eyes and picked up her pen, scribbling away hastily. Izuru seated himself at the chair in front of the desk, resting one knee over the other. Rangiku looked up at her friend grinning mischievously. "Want to do some?"
"Nice try." Izuru replied with a shake of his head, causing Rangiku to huff with disappointment. "Actually, Shuhei and I were wondering if you wanted to come out for a few drinks tonight; how about it?"
"Oh no! What time is it?" Rangiku asked, rising from her seat quickly. Noting that it was dark outside, the woman smacked her head with her hand. "I totally forgot! I'm going to take dinner over to my Taicho tonight! I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks, so I'm gonna have to turn you down." Izuru rose from his seat as well, watching Rangiku take two boxes out from one of the drawers.
"How's he doing?" He asked carefully, knowing that the subject of he was a sensitive one to the woman before him. "Any improvement at all?"
"He has good days and bad days, Kira-kun." She stated simply in a tone that suggested that Rangiku did not want to discuss her captain's condition further.
Fortunately Izuru understood and left the conversation dead in the air, not wanting to upset her more than she might have been. In all honesty Izuru had lost all hope that Toshiro Hitsugaya was ever going to be the same again after accidentally killing their mutual friend Momo, but he wasn't about to tell the man's lieutenant that. He wasn't also going to let on that pretty much everyone else did as well. It was better just to let Rangiku hold onto that hope; it at least got the paperwork finished if only marginally more than she did when Toshiro was a functioning captain.
They walked together to the door, and Izuru held it open for Rangiku since her hands were full. Using his foot to close the slat behind him the two headed in opposite directions. Izuru waved to her, a fake smile plastered to his face. "Give Hitsugaya-Taicho my regards, Rangiku-san! Come out if you get home at an early time!"
"I will, Kira-kun!" She replied, an insincere smile was flashed back to him. She was not the idiot everyone seemed to take her for, a little disappointed that one of her friends had lost faith in Toshiro.
As mentioned, since he accidentally killed his childhood friend Momo, Toshiro had been mentally disturbed and deemed temporarily unable to carry on his role as 10th division captain. He did not have to be institutionalized, rather preferring to just remain in his quarters until he felt able enough to fulfill his duties. Luckily for him Rangiku Matsumoto worked as hard as a lazy woman such as herself could, in hopes he would one day be well enough to return.
Toshiro's lieutenant strolled with her head held high through the streets of the Seireitei with the bento boxes in her hands, ignoring the murmurs and glances of shinigami she passed:
"Poor woman…its been months and still no change in Hitsugaya-Taicho. When will she realize he's never going to be the same again?"
"If you had no one else left in the world after something so tragic you'd be just as delusional."
Rangiku was thankful to arrive at Toshiro's house; She wasn't sure how much longer she could resist wanting to unsheathe Haineko and shut up the disbelieving people no matter how right they might have been. Setting the boxes onto his patio table, Rangiku wrapped on the front door gently.
"Taicho! Open up! I've brought you something tasty to eat!" She said as cheerfully as she could and added "No! I didn't make it if that's what you're wondering!" Rangiku waited a few minutes for her snowy-haired captain to materialize at the door but he never did. Her curiosity got the better of her and she placed a hand to his doorknob to test if it was locked, surprised to find it wasn't, letting herself inside. "Taicho! Hello?"
The parameter of his living room/dining room and kitchen were dark; the only light came in splintered from between the curtains and shadows danced eerily along the empty walls. The house was sparsely decorated; Toshiro was a man that favored simplicity over chaos, and it reflected not only in the office but at home.
Removing her shoes and tabi Rangiku approached his cocktail table, again setting the bento boxes down. She glanced down the narrow hallway that lead to Toshiro's bedroom and noticed a flickering light coming from it, not to mention the man's riatsu seemed to be emanating faintly. Relieved he was home; the woman padded to the room's entryway and peeked inside. There was indeed a candle flickering at his bedside but she still saw no trace of her captain.
That is- until she finally stepped fully inside to find him sitting in the corner.
Toshiro had grown taller in the past few years; his arms were lean and long, draped over his equally long and lanky boxer short-clad legs. He was shirtless as far as Rangiku could tell; after all, his head was buried in his arms, and his mop of floppy, untamed white hair blocked his face and chest from view. She approached the man slowly, crouching down in front of him. His breath reeked of sake; something Rangiku was definitely not used to smelling on her boss.
"Taicho?" She whispered softly, her hand resting on his bare shoulder. "Are you all right? Please talk to me, Toshiro…" Rangiku plopped down, sitting Indian style to make herself more comfortable as she waited for him to respond, but he didn't for a while. "I brought you something to eat…it looks like you could use some food, and I thought we could eat it together."
At last Toshiro lifted his head from its position, and dull, lifeless teal eyes reached up to hers, making her gasp once again. "Toushi…"
"…You haven't been here in a while."
"I know, Taicho. I'm sorry. The paperwork seems to have doubled since you've been…away." She answered nervously, hoping not to upset him by mentioning his leave.
"The paperwork has only doubled because I'm not there to do my share and most of yours." He said apathetically, leaning his head against the wall; his eyes roamed over to the opposite wall with disinterest.
"Ha ha! You are always such a funny one!" Rangiku laughed nervously, ignoring the coldness in his voice but glad to see some of his personality shining through. "So how are you? Are you hungry?"
"Not really"
"So why are you sitting alone in the dark?" She asked, raising herself up to light the other candle in his room but he grabbed her arm, pulling her back down to the floor. "Toshiro? I just want to put more light on!"
"I don't know what else to do." Toshiro confessed; his frightened eyes locked onto hers, startling Rangiku. "The nightmares…are getting worse…to the point where I can't even close my eyes without seeing her" It was in that moment she noticed just how worn out and tired her captain was, and was able to surmise that the leaking riatsu was done out of the frustration he was feeling. "Is there any way I could possibly feel anything besides guilt and regret, Matsumoto?"
The way he looked so helpless and beaten tore into Rangiku's heart and all she could think to do was pull him into her, crushing his head into her half-exposed chest. Since he had gotten taller Toshiro didn't get caught between them as much as before, but because he was sitting it was just as if he were short again, barely able to breathe from the impact. Instead of mindlessly squishing him as she used to, Rangiku adjusted his head for him, holding Toshiro against her heart; slender, delicate hands cradled his head and shoulder as she kissed his forehead tenderly. Within minutes she felt him shake beneath her and wetness trickle down her breasts.
He was crying.
"It's going to be ok, Taicho." Rangiku repeated like a mantra, adjusting them both so she was leaning against the wall for better support and they sat together silently in the dark.
As she held Toshiro, Rangiku was reminded that no matter how much he'd grown or matured in the past months that he was still that same boy she'd known all those years ago, and how kind and compassionate he was to her when Gin first left. After much heartache, when she was finally able to put the fox-faced man behind her, the ginger-haired woman made a promise to one day be there for Toshiro if he ever needed her in a similar way.
Rangiku only wished that she didn't have to, not because she didn't want to, but for the simple fact that she never wanted her captain to feel as she did once, knowing how unbearable that pain could be.