The Hunger Brains

Steven Miller

Cathiss walked onto the field, ready to kill someone. She used a bow, which is obviously why she got the name Cathiss. Sadly, Cathiss hated her name, because she always thought of herself as more of a dog person.

As Cathiss got ready to murder some creepy teenagers, she spotted a very handsome young man without a shirt. "Hey," she called, realizing who it was. "This is the Hunger Games, not Twilight."

"Sorry," Jacob said. "I just wanted to be in a movie that wasn't incredibly boring."

After Jacob was gone, Cathiss noticed another young man. He was wearing a backwards hat and a shirt that said SWAG on it. He was not the type of dawg that Cathiss liked, so she got ready to kill him.

"Yo, gurl, now don't you let that arrow go," he said.

"Who are you?" Cathiss asked, though she knew who he was. She was only asking for the reader's sake.

"I'm Petee, so don't you forget it," he said.

"That's a stupid name," Cathiss replied.

"Hey, gurl, don't be cross up in here. It ain't my fault that my birth certificate had a typo," Petee said. "What's with your dumb name?"

"It's because I use a bow and arrow," Cathiss said.

"Oh," Petee said. "That explains it."
"This isn't very interesting," Cathiss pointed out. "Let's get into the plot."

"Kk," Petee said, "but I was totally diggin' that diaLOUGE."

"wHOA," cATHISS SAID. "wHAT HAPPENED? iS THE CAPS LOCK ON OR SOMETHING?"

"oH, SORRY, i'LL FIX THAT," pETEE SAID. "There, is that better?"

"Yeah," Cathiss said.

Then the plot began to develop, and a ton of zombies came onto the field. Cathiss started shooting arrows at them. After a few hits, her arms got tired, so she pulled her AK-47 out of her pocket. Petee played Mars Needs Moms on a portable television. It caused way more death and chaos than the Ak-47.

The zombies were all dead, leaving Petee and Cathiss alone on the field.

"How is this tied to The Walking Dead?" Cathiss asked.

"It has zombies," Petee said. "That's the only reason people even watch it. It's definitely not because of the acting."

Then a zombie jumped at Petee. It tried to eat his brain, but it couldn't find one. Cathiss didn't notice. She was posting a picture of a sandwich on Instagram. Look what I ate! she typed. I have no life or friends, so I post pictures to feel important! Follow me or I might shoot myself! Cathiss put her phone away. She saw Petee's corpse on the ground. She stared angrily at the zombie.

"You stole my kill!" she yelled.

The zombie turned on annoying music. Cathiss screamed as it started saying stupid things about what a pro it was. But it got worse: It was Black Ops, so there was no easy way to mute the players. Thanks for taking out that feature, Call of Duty! Didn't you ever think that we don't want to listen to the other people?

The zombie ate Cathiss, ending the story in a very strange, unsatisfying way.

The End(swag)