Hey everyone its PhantomX here. Tbh im new to the but i thought id try to write a fanfiction. this is my first so bare with me.this is a male reader x arcee fanfiction. lets begin

WARNING: Mentions of spark-rape and Cybertronian swearing.

"Yeah, take that!" you cried happily, dropping your controller rather roughly and dancing through the room. You took care to not step on any humans or tools that Ratchet might need. "You owe me a cube of energon now, 'Bee!"

His doorwings bobbed up and down as the yellow Urbana rolled his optics, grumbling in beeps that the humans (minus Raphael) couldn't understand. You only snickered, knowing that he was cursing you out. Raf went beet red at the words and refused to translate for Jack and Miko.

Ratchet, who happened to be walking by with a set of spare parts from the back room, smacked the back of Bumblebee's helm for his word choice. "Bumblebee! You know Optimus doesn't condone that type of language!" he scolded.

"Optimus isn't here right now!"Bumblebee protested, rubbing his helm."Besides, I just lost my next ration to (Male Name)!"

Ratchet's blue optics flashed over to meet yours, one autobot blue and one (e/c). The dangerous look he sent you made you freeze in your silly victory dance. "(Male Name), I know we're low on energon right now, and we're all feeling it in our tanks, but that doesn't mean you can gamble away your teammate's supply!"

You pouted as best your lip plating would allow you to. "I know, Ratchet! I wasn't gonna hold him to it! We were just making bets for fun. I'm not stupid."

Ratchet rolled his optics, muttering something under his vents that sounded suspiciously like, "I highly doubt that."

Bumblebee sent you a grateful look, clapping a servo on your shoulder-plating."Thanks, bro."

"No problem, brother. Us 'bots gotta stick together!" you proclaimed proudly, meeting Ratchet's optics in defiance. You sent Bumblebee a grin before walking off, blatantly ignoring Ratchet's warning of the dangers of gambling, fake or otherwise.

You were thinking of heading for your berth to catch a few hours of recharge, instinctively stepping over Miko as she ran over to greet Bulkhead, who was just returning from a patrol, along with Arcee and Optimus.

You had your back to the group when a sharp pain hit you, emanating from your chest. You winced harshly, the smile that never left your face vanishing momentarily. You pressed a servo to the seam in your chestplates that would part to open you spark-chamber. Nobody had seemingly noticed your lapse, so you changed course to head for the elevator.

The best cure you had found for your occasional lapses was the Earth's fresh air, so you figured you could go to the top of the military silo and be alone for a moment. Just in case you got... panicky.

Once you'd emerged on the top of the huge stone structure, you stepped off of the elevator-platform and took in a tankful of the clean oxygen. You felt calmer already, and the way that the sun reflected off of your (f/c) and (2nd f/c) paint job quickly brought a smile back to your faceplates. It was dinged-up and scratched from your latest run-ins with the decepticons, but it was your handiwork and you were proud of it.

Another wave of pain snagged your attention, and you pressed your servo firmly against the seam. You hated it when this happened, but you were too stubborn to tell anyone. This was your problem, not theirs.

Then came the memories. Flashes of a darkened room and menacing figures approaching you flashed in your processor, covering up the peaceful view of the sunset and canyons around you. The rock pile that covered Cliffjumper's offlined frame became a berth, and you saw yourself strapped to it. The dark figures leaned over you, hooking up various machines that would induce recharge.

The sound of the elevator rising snapped you out of it, and you found yourself standing in the canyons of Nevada once more. You forced yourself to calm your venting and tried to act normally.

"(Male Name)?" asked a feminine voice behind you. You turned with a forced smile to face her. "You didn't pester me for a date like you usually do. What's up?"

"Oh, I dunno," you replied, hoping your tone was light and carefree. "I've asked you forty-seven times now, so I figured I wouldn't bother again."

She raised an optic-ridge, looking at you in confusion with one servo placed sassily on her hip. You gazed down at the smaller, navy femme. "That's not like you at all. And it's been seventy-three, not forty-seven. Are you feeling alright?"

You waved a servo in her direction. "Yeah, yeah. Close enough. And I'm fine." You turned away to gaze out over the canyon again when the worst pain yet struck, causing you to reapply the pressure on your chest and double over with a groan. "Okay, maybe I'm not," you hissed between your clenched dentals.

She was at your side in a moment, resting one hand over yours on your chestplates and one on your shoulder. "(Male Name)?! What's going on?"

You gasped as your vision flashed. You were suddenly in the darkened room again, and Arcee was replaced by another figure to dim to see properly. However, they were holding a shock rod, which was sparking on the end. Your optics widened as you threw yourself backwards.

"N-no! Don't come any closer! I swear, I don't know anything else!" you cried, screwing your optics shut and holding your servos in front of you for some sort of defense. The feeling of a servo tightly wrapped on your shoulder made you scream.

The pain in your chest was only making things worse, and you shuddered violently. The owner of the servo flinched at the noise and motion, but then they went to work messing with the clasps that held the seam in your chestplates shut. You fought them off in vain, but your frame worked against you and your chestplates popped open.

With a whimper, you tried to cover your spark with your servos, instinctively fearing what was to come next. But you paused when you heard a female voice far off.

"Oh, Primus. Ratchet? You need to get up here right now!" There was a brief pause. "I don't know what's wrong with (Male Name), fraggit! Just get your slaggin' aft up here before he offlines himself!"

You managed to online your optics again, panting heavily at the remembrance of your horrid past. Arcee was peering down at you worriedly, and much to your embarrassment, your chestplates were wide open.

"Arcee?" you asked shakily. "Did I have another lapse?"

"'Another'?" she asked. "How often does this happen?" There was an edge of panic in her voice. Deep down, you were happy that she was concerned about you. Usually she just called you an annoying pit-spawn and tried her best to ignore your advances.

You were about to answer her when another wave of pain hit. Instead, you groaned. Error messages popped up on your HUD, alerting you to your cerebral processor crashing from the lack of energon output from your fluctuating spark. The last thing you saw as you succumbed to the blackness was the beautiful faceplates you had fallen for long ago.

-oOo-

You were woken by the sound of your name being dropped form the vocals of your teammates. Everything was foggy in your memory banks, and you weren't online enough to power up your optics. So you sat there and listened, the information you heard not really registering.

"...(Male Name)'s cerebral processor crashed. The crack in his spark was messing with his energon output. The fact all of our tanks are running on empty probably wasn't helping."

"But what about what he was yelling? I don't think he even saw me; it was like somebot else was there and he was someplace else."

"I think it was type of vision. He was re-living some sort of past memory, most likely connected to the pain he was experiencing. Things like this don't just happen overnight. I bet he's been having these relapses for vorns, and been too stubborn to tell anybot."

There was a pause, during which you could feel yourself onlining more. Ratchet spoke up again, and you focused on his words. "The crack in his spark is what worries me the most, though. If it was any deeper, it would have reached the laser core and he would be offline. That type of damage is only obtainable a few ways, none of which are pleasant or common..."

"You mean he lost his sparkmate?"

"No. He said he'd never been bonded before, remember?"

"He could've been lying, Bulkhead. Maybe they were a decepticon and he just doesn't want us to know."

"I doubt that, 'Cee."

"Either way, we will have to wait until he comes back online to figure it out. In the meantime, we need to send someone out on patrol. Bumblebee, I want you to-"

"It wasn't a bond that did this," you said sleepily, finding the energy to talk and accidentally interrupting your leader. "Sorry, Prime."

You tiredly onlined your optics and glanced up to see the entire team surrounding your medical berth, minus the humans. A quick scan revealed that they weren't in the base, meaning somebot had taken them home.

"It's alright, (Male Name). It's good to see you functioning," Optimus replied with a small smile.

"You're lucky Arcee was up there," Ratchet scolded, butting in like usual and checking your vital stats. "If I hadn't stabilized you when I did, you would be in the Well of Allsparks right now."

"Sorry," you said lowly. "But this is my problem to deal with. I'll handle it like a big 'bot."

"We're a team! We're supposed to support each other!"'Bee protested, looking at you with worry evident in his optics.

You snorted. "And make you all worry because of my mistakes? There's bigger things to worry about."

"You said it wasn't a crack from losing a sparkmate," Arcee cut in, changing the subject. "Then what did happen?"

You lowered your optics, suddenly not wanting to look at any of them. It wasn't exactly a very nice story. "You all know I was held hostage by the decepticons before I came here. They weren't exactly... humane in their methods of torture."

Ratchet vented hard, knowing immediately what had happened. Optimus had a faint air about him that suggested he had an idea of where you were headed, but the other three just looked lost.

"I've never heard of torture cracking a 'bot's spark," Bulkhead said, watching you curiously.

"It was spark-rape," you said hollowly, staring at your servos. "Over and over. I lost count of how many times they forced a merge with me. I could barely keep myself going to get out of that fragging ship."

The mood in the silo dampened instantly, and it was suddenly so quiet that you could have heard a pin drop, as the humans said. Bumblebee reset his optics and audios, hardly believing what he was hearing. Arcee's servos clenched into fists, and Bulkhead's optics blazed with fury. Optimus shook his helm sadly.

They suddenly all had a better understanding of why you acted the way you did. You were always smiling and laughing, making jokes out of anything you possibly could. Even when the team was faced with desperate situations, like Unicron rising from the dust of the Earth, you faced the challenges with a lame joke and a fierce grin. Compared to decepticon captivity, fighting in a war with your teammates, even in hopeless situations, every day felt like freedom. You were simply happy to still be online.

"I had no idea," Arcee whispered, suddenly guilty for all the times she'd wished you would drop the ever-constant smirk and cocky attitude. She doubted she would've lasted as long as you had with that kind of history.

Bulkhead and Bumblebee made noises of agreement, and Optimus lightly touched your shoulder, letting you know that your friends and teammates were there, and you weren't alone. You shot him a small smile.

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore, okay guys?" you requested, allowing your optics to offline again. You were still tired and knew you could use some recharge.

Slowly, they all drifted back off to various activities, but Ratchet stayed close by, monitoring your vitals on the monitor while he scanned the Earth for any energon signals. With a sigh, you allowed yourself to fall back offline.

-oOo-

Early the next day, you approached Optimus and practically demanded to be sent out on patrol. He had shuttered his optics in surprise.

"No no no!" Ratchet argued. "You need to rest more!"

"Ha!" you challenged him. "I lived this long with my 'condition' and you guys didn't even know! I'm fine, honestly. I just want to get out and get some fresh air."

Optimus watched you carefully, knowing that you had a point. "Alright. But I'm sending Arcee with you."

"Okay," you agreed, grateful that you wouldn't be confined to base any longer than you had to. Ratchet made a noise of disgust low in his throat and moved back to his computers.

Arcee walked up to you with a small smile, and you both transformed down into your vehicle modes. She revved her engine, and the engine in your fancy sports car practically purred underneath your hood. Then you both tore out of the base and into the warm sunlight.

A comfortable silence fell between the two of you as you sped along the deserted desert roads, sending sand flying every direction in your wake.

You could sense that the motorbike wanted to say something to you, but she was taking her time in saying it. Eventually she spoke up. "I'm sorry-"

"Don't pity me," you said, cutting her off. "It's not your fault, or any of the others'. I made my decision to keep you all in the dark, and I don't regret it."

She slammed on the brakes and transformed up back into bipedal mode. "How can you say that? We're your team! We deserve to know what's going on!"

You transformed up as well and looked her dead in the optic. "Think about it, Arcee. What if we're out in the middle of a battle and you all are so concerned that I'm going to have a relapse that you don't focus on your own fight? The rest of you guys would be so worried about me that you would get hurt in turn, maybe even offlined! I don't want to be the reason my friends were taken from me. I can handle myself, relapses and all. After all, I've lasted this long, even with the war going on."

She watched you for a moment before shaking her head. "Stubborn as ever, I see." Then she took a step closer and hooked a servo around your chin, pulling you down to her level. Then she kissed you, your lip plating meeting hers. She let go of you and smirked. "You gave me quite a fright yesterday."

Then she transformed again and sped off, leaving you standing there, slack-jawed. Your senses came back to you and you turned back into your sports car, shooting after her. "Wait! Does that mean you'll go out with me?"

Her chuckle echoed back to you. "We'll see, hotshot."

You voice rocketed through the canyons, and you swore you'd never been happier. "YES!"

I hope y'all like this so far if you do comment and pm me and ill start the update as soon as possible.

This is PhantomX signing out