Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Summary: This takes place immediately after the episode "Who Goes Where." Radu is upset about what he did to the others while he was under the influence of the illness; can he ever bring himself to relieve his guilt?
Radu sat alone in the galley, trying to eat dinner by himself, but not being able to swallow very much.
He'd apologized to the Commander, to the rest of the crew, and shared a dance with Catalina, but he still felt awful about the danger he'd put the rest of the crew in when he was sick. He hadn't been thinking clearly, he'd almost killed Harlan, and he'd almost dismembered Thelma beyond all sense of repair.
He had told Rosie that he felt trapped in someone else's head, that he hadn't been able to control any of what he was doing. His actions had been due to the illness, and getting sick wasn't his fault, was it?
Well, he'd brought that bear aboard, without permission. So it really was his fault after all.
He'd had a nap earlier, but hadn't been able to sleep due to the guilt. He'd finally decided to get something for dinner, but only because it was 20:00 hours, long after the rest of the crew had already eaten. The food tube had given him something edible, but he wasn't in the mood to eat it. It was a shame to waste food, though, so he just sat at the table and played with it until he felt hungry enough to eat.
"Mr. Radu, please report to the Command Post," the Commander's voice rang throughout the intercom.
"Great," Radu muttered, leaving his food at the table. He jumped through the jump tube to the Command Post.
Commander Goddard was at the helm by himself; nobody else was around, not even Miss Davenport.
"You called for me, Commander?" Radu asked timidly. He knew that it was time for the Commander to punish him. He'd told Radu it was coming later, after he'd had a rest.
"Yes, Mr. Radu." The Commander left the helm just for a minute and walked over to his crew member. He placed his hands firmly on Radu's shoulders. "I called you here to apologize to you," he told Radu gently.
"Apologize?" Well, he sure hadn't seen this coming.
"Yes. While you were sick, I said some things about Andromedans that I shouldn't have. I didn't know you were suffering an illness affecting your brain, and I said some things to Miss Davenport about you that were racist and cruel. I sincerely apologize."
Radu didn't know whether to shrug—at times it seemed the whole crew was against Andromedans—or nod to show that he understood. After a few uncomfortable seconds, he chose to nod, staring at the floor.
"Look at me, Mr. Radu!"
Radu looked up at the Commander.
"Do you accept my apology?"
"Of course, sir."
The Commander smiled. "Have you been getting some rest?"
"Trying to. I can't sleep," Radu moped, staring at the floor again. It wasn't like an Andromedan to cry, but he still felt so much guilt. What else was he supposed to do?
"Miss Davenport told me that you were alone in the galley eating dinner. Have you eaten anything?"
"No, sir. I'm just not hungry."
"I think I know what's wrong." The Commander took his hands off of Radu's shoulders and commenced pacing back and forth. "Listen, Mr. Radu, I've been doing some thinking about your punishment. I know that you weren't in control of what you did, but you did choose to go outside of the ship and bring that bear aboard."
Radu nodded and raised his head. "Yes, sir."
The Commander sensed that Radu's mood was improving. "Well, I've determined that starting tomorrow, you're going to spend two hours of your free time here with me in the Command Post. Every day for a week. We're going to be studying navigation together. Do you understand?"
A wave of relief swept over Radu. "Yes, I understand, Commander."
"And tomorrow, if you wish, you can apologize again to the crew at breakfast, although at dinner they all seemed to forgive you. However-" the Commander smiled—"I take it you heard the entire conversation."
Radu shook his head. He'd been lying in bed with earmuffs on, not wanting to take it anything that was heard around him. "I blocked it out, Commander."
"You're fine." Commander Goddard stopped pacing and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "You need to take some time off. Where's Thelma?"
"Yes, Commander?"
In less than a second, Thelma had appeared behind him. Neither the Commander nor Radu quite understood how she did it.
"Thelma, take Mr. Radu's temperature. I want to make sure he's all right."
Thelma went over to Radu and stuck her finger inside Radu's ear. "Radu's temperature is normal. His barometric pressure is also normal; he seems to be free from any infection."
"Good! That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Mr. Radu, go finish your dinner, and go to sleep. You can sleep in the medical bay if you want some privacy."
He nodded. "I think I will. Thank you, Commander."
"I'm very proud to have you on my crew, Mr. Radu. Don't you ever get too upset. You have a good head on your shoulders."
Radu nodded, thanked the Commander, and headed back to the galley via the jump tubes. His appetite had somewhat returned, and he was able to force down the rest of his dinner. Hopefully he kept it down tonight.
He ran his dishes through the automatic washer and returned them to their place on the shelf, then headed back to the bunk he shared with Bova and Harlan.
Bova was still studying the book on science that Miss Davenport had showed him earlier. He looked up when Radu entered the room. "Hey. What's going on?"
"I'm going to sleep in the medical bay tonight, okay?" Radu headed over to his bed and picked up his pillow and the teddy bear.
"Are you sure? You know you're welcome here."
No, I don't, Radu thought to himself. I'm not welcome among Harlan, anyways. "I'm still not feeling too well," he admitted to Bova. In fact, he felt a lot better, just tired. "I need some uninterrupted sleep. And they have medicine there, you know, in case I get really sick."
"Hope you feel better," Bova shrugged, as if nothing had happened that day.
"Thanks," Radu smiled.
He headed down to the medical bay, on the very bottom level of the ship. Thankfully, no one had had to use it yet except for Catalina, and that was just for a pulled muscle in her ankle.
He grabbed some extra blankets out of a closet, and curled up on one of the spare beds with his pillow and the teddy bear. He felt one thousand times better.
Life on the Christa was beginning to be okay.