Disclaimer: Indubitably not mine.
A/N: Written for the KH Drabbles Community on LiveJournal, but actually this is a crossover I've wanted to write for some time. A Kingdom Hearts/Discworld crossover.
Lost in a Good Bookcase
© Scribbler, June 2008.
Sora had never been a big book-fan. Especially after Winnie-the-Pooh, but even before, he'd always felt like books were invented to mock him. Riku never had to use a dictionary for longer words, and Kairi was content to sit for hours in silent study. Sora, on the other hand, viewed books as necessary, but ultimately an elaborate means of keeping kids indoors on sunny days.
This distrust of books only intensified when Hollow Bastion's library warped around him like a rock dropped in a pool of water. When the ripples ceased it looked very different.
Sora backed up, then leapt away from the crazily tilting bookcase.
The books were growling at him.
His keyblade chattered in the back of his thoughts. Merlin had told him that Keyblades reflected the mind they were attached to, but Sora was convinced this was exaggeration to make Merlin sound more intelligent. He always got twitchy when Sora mentioned Yen Sid, and dropped unrelated things into conversations, like his achievements in the field of shape-shifting, or magical research papers he'd written with titles like 'Self-Discovery Amongst Zombies' and 'Why the Secret of Life is a Good-Quality Chocolate Digestive.
He'd also written some steamy novels under the pseudonym M. Weezahd, but Sora learned early on not to mention these. The horribly aimed thunderbolt and strange sizzling whenever he sat down that week helped him memorise the lesson.
His keyblade had no words, but Sora got impressions of meaning, as though he had memories of words being yelled directly into his brain. Dangerunknownnalonenoalliesthreatfight?
No, he wasn't nearly so annoying when quiet was needed to think and… was that a monkey?
"Ook."
The hardbacks behind Sora cowered with a whimper of pages.
One tiny cardboard picture book (how'd that get into Ansem's library?) jumped forward like an overeager puppy, but the monkey gently set it back on its self with a gentle but firm, "Eek."
Sora gulped. Hollow Bastion, while internally voted Place Where Most Likely to Have Face Ripped Off, was a hub of normalcy compared to most worlds. It was frustrating that even this metaphorical rug could be yanked from under him – apparently to reveal floorboards transmogrified into quicksand.
"Ook."
"Hello?"
"Ook!"
"Ah, dear boy, I should've known you'd be here. Hello Librarian. It's been a few years since I saw you, old friend."
Sora turned to see Merlin stepping over a wheezing Grimoire being jumped on by a trio of its own paperback parodies. The slim volumes cheered like enthusiastic grandchildren pestering an octogenarian who just wants to smoke his pipe in peace.
"If any magical predicament appears, one can be sure you're at its centre," Merlin said jovially. "Is it your role as keyblade master, however, or natural propensity for finding trouble and jumping into it feet-first? Enquiring minds wish to know, ha ha." He gave the laugh of all scholars when they've cracked a particularly unfunny joke but find themselves the height of wit.
Sora eyed the monkey. "Um, Merlin, what's going on?"
"L-Space. A rare treat usually barred to the non-literary minded. Perhaps this is part of the mantle of keyblade master, or perhaps merely an example of obtuse providence."
"Huh?"
"Dumb luck."
"Ook-ook-eek-ooh-oooeeeoook."
Merlin's face fell. "Oh dear."
"What?" Sora looked between them, momentarily shelving the fact that Merlin was talking to a monkey. And one that didn't mime like Abu.
"OooOOOoook."
"Yes, I can see why they'd be drawn here. The fabric of this reality is rather thin, with all the travelling between worlds. Dash it all, this is the last thing we need."
"What is?" Sora demanded.
"Tell me, my boy, on your adventures have you ever heard of the Dungeon Dimensions?"
Fin.