AN: This is the only one of my first fics that is fit to publish with only minor edits. The others are so rough they'll require major reworking before I upload them. I'd like to rewrite it at some point, since I think Xehanort and the other Apprentices during the time gap are fascinating, (as well as young Master Xehanort and Eraqus) but I'm going to just throw this out there and see what people think.

This was written only a short time after BbS was released, and before I played it, so consider it AU or whatever. It's a semi-sequel to a similar journal fic I wrote for Aqua, but Aqua's Journal needs major edits that I don't want to get involved in right now.

(Background note: in this version, Sora, Riku and Kairi lived at the Land of Departure. They loved playing with the Trio, especially Terra, and sometimes Aqua, Terra, and Ven would help take care of them.)

*KH and FFX belong to Square Enix, not me. Please leave a review with the above in mind!*

"GAAAAHHH! Get back here!"

A tall blonde girl in a short cut black top and capris runs by me, chasing a man with long bleached hair and a lab coat clutching a large volume close to his chest.

He looks back at her and nearly trips over a pipe that a dark-haired boy is working on. "Noooo way! It's mine! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!"

The black haired man sitting next to me snickers and calls out to the blonde girl. "Hey Alan! Having a good day?"

She stops and stares at us. "NO! And that's not my name! Can't you ever get it right, Braig? It's Elenar!" She pronounces it almost like 'Eleanor'.

Braig waves a gloved hand at her. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just because you're Ansem's younger sister doesn't mean you get special treatment. You get my regular remember-people's-names-plan just like everyone else."

I look over at him. "Since you're doing the remembering here, what do I have to pay?"

Braig chortles. "Nothing, my friend! Of course I know your name! Xehanort, right?" His visible eye narrows, and he mutters under his breath almost too softly for me to hear. "If you're sure..."

But I can't quite catch the rest of his sentence.

The blonde girl, Elenar, stomps her foot. "Whatever! Now you've made me lose Even!"

The pale-haired man was scrambling down the steps from the ramparts, completely missing the lift the dark-haired boy was working on, and disappeared around the corner of the castle.

The boy looks up and over at the stairs.

"Hm. Will have to remove those..."

While I blink in surprise (Surely Ienzo doesn't think his new lifts are the only way around the castle?), Braig leans back and watches Elenar from his good eye. (I haven't gotten around to asking him how he lost his eye. I think it happened only recently, because he keeps running into things. But he seems rather... touchy about the subject and I have a sneaking suspicion I don't really want to know. Even though I really want to know.)

Braig's face splits into a sarcastic grin. "So... Why did you want Even anyway? I find him a little creepy if you ask me."

Elenar frowns at him. "Well, I DIDN'T ask you, so keep your nose out of my business!"

"Hey!"

The voice sounds familiar; I look at Braig. "Did you...?"

He shrugs. "As if. I didn't say anything."

Elenar walks over to the edge of the castle ramparts, and stares down. Her hand starts twitching, as if she wants to crunch something. Or someone.

A cheerful voice comes up over the edge, singing very badly, and not to mention off key. "Oh, Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your-OW!"

"SHUT UP!" Elenar lifts another chunk of loose masonry into the air, while Ienzo scrambles to rescue his tools before she throws them down too.

There's the sound of someone talking quietly, then the voice starts again. "So I may-! OW OW OW! HEY!"

Elenar's rough breathing catches for a moment as she looks around for more ammunition to throw but Ienzo's relocated his tools to a safe distance, and there's no more loose chunks of rock lying around. Her hackles raised, she yells at the disembodied voice. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU LEA?! SHUT UP!"

Another, more subdued voice comes up. "I told you it wouldn't work."

"It was worth a shot!"

A third voice pipes up. "I could play along!" A stringed instrument is strummed.

"Ooooo! Let's try that!"

"Still not going to work." Elenar takes a deep breath, and is about to yell something down that would most likely have been extremely offensive, but a hand on her shoulder stops her.

"Why are you yelling at poor Lea and Isa?" A tall man with longish light blond hair and short trimmed beard, wearing a lab coat, and an inexplicable red sweater draped over his shoulders looks at Elenar.

"Hey, bother- I mean, brother! Hi, hi, I, I... gotta go, see ya later... At dinner!..." She tries to twist away, but he has a firm grip on her shoulder.

A little belatedly, Braig and I spring to our feet, (How in the world did such a big man come up unnoticed?) and over by the pile of tools, Ienzo looks up.

"Master Ansem!"

Master Ansem looks over at us and waves at us to carry on. Looking back at Elenar, he smiles, kindness in his voice.

"Elenar, we can't have you terrorizing our poor subjects, can we?" He looks over the edge. "Hello, Lea! Isa! Oh, hello Demy!"

"Ack!" From the sounds that follow, I guess that the first voice, Lea, is trying to hide behind the second voice, Isa, while the third, Demy, just goes, "Eeep!"

Elenar looks at her feet and mutters under her breath. "Oh, great. You've got out your king speech. And you're using the royal 'we'... In any case, you seem to scare them more than I do."

Master Ansem, sage-king of Radiant Garden and the surrounding land, known as 'Ansem the Wise' to his subjects, sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. "What am I to do with you?"

Sensing a chance to escape, the three below run off, their boots clattering on the cobblestones.

Ignoring her escaping admirer and co., Elenar beams up at her brother and flutters her eyelashes. "Let me go?"

"Elenar, what is this?" Switching hands, Master Ansem holds up a large tome and I realize it's the same one that Even ran off holding.

"Uh... Never seen it... before... in my life..." She trails off when she sees his disapproving expression.

"Mmm... I ran into Even on the way up. Literally. He dropped this on me, yelled 'Keep this book away from HER!' and kept on running down the stairs. I'm surprised he didn't trip and break his neck."

Elenar cracks under the pressure. "Okay, okay! Fine! I admit it! I took that book from the library!" She glares up at him with shifty eyes, as if daring him to contradict her.

Master Ansem sighs again. "Elenar... This is from my private library." He turns the volume sideways. Clearly stamped on the side in silver are the words: 'Ansem Report 0' "You know you're not allowed in there." Flipping through it absently, Master Ansem lets go of her shoulder. "And why did you want to know about the darkness? You know that's-"

As soon as his grip on her shoulder loosens, Elenar is off like a shot.

"-dangerous." She's far too far away to hear him now. Master Ansem sighs again, and rubs his forehead. "Sisters..." Turning back, he looks at us. "I don't suppose any of you have siblings?" We all shake our heads. "No? I didn't think so..."

"Master Ansem?" I venture. "Why did you come up here? Surely not just to chide Elenar on her choice of reading material?"

"No, although I am a little worried. I actually came up here to get your help."

Ienzo looks up from where he's cleaning up the mess his tools have become. "With what?"

Master Ansem's face darkens. "A group of refugees has arrived. None of them will talk about where they came from, but there's so few... something terrible must have happened. I don't want to just send them off with some servants. Dilan and Aeleus are watching them now, but I wanted some more people I could trust to help me. Could you come down?"

I'm not sure if he means me, Braig, or Ienzo (probably not Ienzo; he's only nine-ish) but we all nod and follow him down the stairs. When we walk out into the main square, there's a small group of people standing or sitting in various states of shock, while a tall black haired young woman, a scruffy-looking blond man, and a black-haired teenage boy pass out blankets and cups of a steaming liquid. I sniff one as it's carried by, and recoil, my sensitive nose detecting everything in it. It smells like half of someone's icebox has been indiscriminately dumped into the stew. It doesn't seem to bother the refugees though; some are eating like it's the only thing they've had for a week. Somehow guilty, I realize that it might be.

Master Ansem was right; there are very few of them. But, I tell myself, that doesn't mean anything. Perhaps there wasn't a lot of people where they came from.

That thought doesn't stop the ball of ice forming in my stomach though. I can't understand why the sight of these refugees is stressing me so much, but a jolt goes through me as I see a boy with silver hair and a wooden sword staring back at me, an unreadable expression in his eyes. A little red haired girl and a brown haired boy are hiding behind him, the little brown boy barely able to keep a grip on the wooden sword he's carrying. I kneel down in front of them, trying to maintain a friendly facade while knowing that I'm more likely to scare them. My bangs fall over my eyes, and I brush them back, slightly irritated.

"Hello. What's your names?"

The brown haired one points at himself, and I nod. "I'm Sora." He points at the little girl and then the silver haired boy in turn. "This is Kairi, and that's Riku."

I adjust Sora's weapon gently, showing him how to not drop it. "There, hold it like so..." I move his little hands, and a part of me wonders if I've ever helped train anyone else. Despite not remembering ever lifting a blade in my life, it seems perfectly natural to be helping a younger student with his. I lean back a little, and the little boy swishes his sword experimentally, testing it out.

Sora smiles at me. "Sweet!"

I smile back, trying not to let my face slip back into its normal pensive expression. "Be careful with that. You don't want to hurt anyone. But, we want to know. What happened?"

Something connects in Riku's mind. His eyes flash and he lifts his sword protectively, just barely missing stabbing me in the forehead. "Traitor. You said we'd be okay! You said everything'd be fine! YOU SAID YOU WOULD COME BACK!"

"What?" I ask, confused by his unprovoked anger. "Little boy, I think you have me confused with someone else. I've never met you before, and I've made no such promise to anyone." At least I don't think I have, I add silently.

"No, I'd know your face anywhere! But you didn't have silver hair then…"

"Well, see, that must have been someone else. You've got me mixed up with someone else," I assert, puzzled by this little boy's stubbornness.

"No!-" Before Riku can finish his answer, someone calls my name.

"Xehanort!" It's Dilan. He's never liked me. "What are you slacking off for? We need you over here!"

"I'm coming!" I call, and turn to get up and see what they want me for, but I'm stopped by a sound from the boy I was talking to.

"Xehanort..." Riku hisses, and thwaps the back of my head with the flat of his wooden blade. It's not a particularly heavy or strong sword, but he hits me hard enough that, already unbalanced, I go sprawling onto the ground.

I sit up, angry now. "Why you little-"

I'm stopped by another call for me, this time from Aeleus. "Xehanort, we need you to help us lift this!"

I glare at the boy. "This isn't over yet." It seems a little odd to become mortal enemies with a five-year old, but I'm angry, and don't really care. The silver haired boy glares back, controlled anger shining in his eyes.

"XEHANORT!" Dilan and Aeleus, and... Braig? Why does he want me now?

"I'm coming, there's no need to wear my name out!"

With one last glare at Riku, I stand up and walk over to where they're standing, next to a large pile of crates. "What?"

They're deep in conversation with a tall young man with light reddish-tan hair, long enough to reach his shoulders and bleached so much by the sun that it seems to be a light pink. "...I've already told you, that's all I know. That's all ANY of us knows."

Hearing my approach, Dilan turns to me. "Oh, so you're finally here. Well, we don't need you to lift these crates anymore."

Master Ansem walks by, carrying a large crate all by himself. "Why have you stopped? Oh, hello. What's your name?"

The pink haired young man sighs, and looks longingly at the stew. "Um... Before that, can I...?"

Noticing his stare, I grab a steaming cup from the tall black haired girl's tray next time she comes around, and pass it to him. She gives me a nasty look, but he starts drinking it right away. "Now can you tell us?"

He refuses to answer any more questions until his stew is done, so I get stuck helping Dilan, Aeleus and Braig carry crates with extra supplies in them. I guess someone thought that with extra people, the castle would need extra supplies. I snort, and Braig looks over at me. From the pained expression on his face, I guess he's thinking the same thing. Why in the worlds would we need more supplies? We live in a castle!

We walk past Master Ansem, and our expressions must tell him what we're thinking because he laughs, and then quickly sobers. "Those supplies are only for if we get more refugees. Or... If something happens here. If something does happen, I want everyone in Radiant Garden to be able to come to the castle and wait it out there."

My curiosity gets the better of me, and I take a peek at the label on the side of the crate I'm carrying. I nearly drop it on my toes when I see what it is.

"DRIED MUSHROOMS?!" I hate mushrooms. Don't ask me why, I just do. Plus they give me a runny nose.

Interest aroused by my outburst, Braig looks at his label and makes a face. "Dried prunes? Master Ansem, just how long do you expect us to be eating this stuff?"

"Never, I hope. I had them buy things that would last a long time."

Braig grunts and mutters under his breath. "Couldn't you have had them deliver it too?"

I agree. You wouldn't think it, but dried mushrooms are heavy. As I step forward, I hear a skittering sound and slip on something I can't see because of the crate. I fall flat on my face, dropping the crate. Luckily, it's strong, so it doesn't break, but I bruise my forehead on the hard blue cobblestones. Looking back, I see a wooden sword conveniently placed to trip me up. I glare over at the children, but Riku looks totally innocent, and except for the fact that he's no longer holding a sword, there's no evidence that he did anything.

"You did that on purpose!" I hiss at him.

"Prove it." And with that, he sticks his tongue out at me.

"You...!" Only the fact that Master Ansem has looked up from his work and is watching keeps me from going over there and strangling the boy.

"Xehanort, are you all right?" Master Ansem asks, concern in his voice.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I get up, rubbing my forehead. Trying to step forward to pick up the crate, I nearly fall over, but Braig grabs my arm with one hand, trying to balance his crate in the other. My sense of balance seems to have completely vanished, and I pinwheel my other arm, trying to regain it.

"As if. I think you should go to the infirmary. You might have a concussion."

My near fall has set the world spinning, and the part of me not consumed with not getting sick wonders if perhaps Braig is right and I do have a concussion.

A girl that I hadn't noticed before, her brown hair cut short and in layers with a blue ribbon wound through a braid tucked behind her right ear, her white tank top and blue mini skirt contrasting sharply with the yellow sash around her hips, steps forward and wraps her hands around my other arm. I blink blearily at her, only partially able to pay attention to her words.

"I can take him."

Master Ansem nods. "Thank you." He frowns slightly, as if thinking. "You're Yuna, aren't you? An Apprentice Healer?"

The girl bows her head in respect. "That's correct, sire."

He smiles. "You're very mature for an eight year old. Well then, take care of my newest apprentice. We wouldn't want him dying on us, now would we?"

She smiles tentatively, not sure whether or not to take that as a joke. "Yes- I mean, no, sire."

I'm feeling quite dizzy, my thoughts in almost as fast a whirl as the world around me, as Braig lets go of my arm, and the girl starts leading me off. Master Ansem called me his apprentice! That's good, isn't it? My thoughts wander and I wonder if he can restore my lost memory. I stop walking, and the girl comes to an abrupt halt as I stop. "Memory... hunh... I wonder..." I wonder if hitting my head will make it come back. Meh, my worsening headache is making it hard to think.

She obviously takes my mutterings as further reason to get me to the infirmary. "Come on..." She pulls on my arm, but she's much too small to move me. I turn around, and start walking back, pulling the girl along with me, until I trip over a cobblestone I had missed seeing, and scrape the palms of my hands. The girl pulls me to my feet, her hand on my arm again, and turns me around.

"No! You can't go back there until I've got you checked out. You're obviously confused."

She's right; I am confused. I'm so dizzy that I'm not even sure which way was back to the square, and my head feels like it's going to explode, but I have enough wits to notice that we're not anywhere near the castle. "Um... what's-your-name? This isn't towards the castle."

The girl sighs. "Oh, good, so you can hear me. No, we're not going back to castle, we're going into the town. That's where the current Healer is, and so that's where the infirmary is."

"Oh." We start walking again.

It only takes a few more minutes to reach where we're going, and I'm feeling much better. It helps I'm not getting spun around in circles anymore, and the world's (mostly) stopped spinning. The girl, (I still can't remember her name) opens the door, and sticks her head in. "Aerith? Aerith, I have a patient!"

A tall woman with red hair pulled back into a corkscrew braid topped off with a red bow, and wearing a dress in multiple shade of pink, comes down the stairs. "Hmm? Yuna, why are you back? I thought I sent you to the square when Master Ansem asked for a Healer.

The girl, (Yuna I guess), turns around and beckons to me. "Come on in..." She looks up at Aerith. "I was and you did, but he," she points at me, "he tripped and fell. He hit his head, and he's been acting weird every since."

I'm indignant. "I have not! I'll have you know, I'm perfectly- whoa..." . I take a step forward and my headache returns full force. Apparently, I'm not totally recovered yet. My balance is still gone, and I have to put my hand on Yuna's shoulder to assure myself that the room is not spinning.

Aerith points to a chair.

"Sit."

I do.

Yuna speaks up. "They thought he might have a concussion."

"Let me guess... " Aerith sighs, "You've been dizzy and have a headache. You have no sense of balance or direction."

Embarrassed, I nod, and then wince as pain goes though my head.

"Well, let's take care of the obvious things." Yuna already has bandages and ointment out, so Aerith just cleans off my palms and wraps them in clean, white bandages. "There. Now, about your head…"

Aerith looks me over, puts her hand on my head and closes her eyes. I feel a soft warmth go through me, and I can see green motes of light falling around me.

"You do have a minor concussion," she finally decides, "You just need rest, and then you'll feel better. Try to not do too much until you heal."

I stand up. "Thank you. Umm... could you point me in the direction of the castle?"

Aerith laughs. "I can do better than that. Yuna, would you mind leading this young man back to the castle?"

"No, of course not."

The next morning I'm lying on my bed with a book open over my face. I had been trying to read it, but the words kept swimming in front of my eyes. A knock sounds through the door.

"Enter," I call out, my words muffled by the book on my head. The door creaks open, and three sets of feet creep in. I know who it is, without even taking the book off my face.

"You can come in. I won't bite. Probably. Oof!" A small someone jumps onto me and a tiny voice giggles, then a delicate hand lifts the book off of me. A pair of surprisingly large blue eyes stare at me, set in a inquisitive child's face surrounded by deep-red hair.

"Oooh... You have pretty colored eyes. Can I touch your funny hair?"

I sigh. At least she asked first. "Yes, yes you may. If you get off of me."

The little girl beams and jumps off. She rushes to the head of my bed and immediately starts combing her fingers through my hair. I sit up, and she jumps onto the bed and puts her hand on the purple and black mark on my forehead.

"Are you okay, mister?" Her pure eyes stare up at me, worry reflected in them.
I pat her head and reassure her. "Yes, I'll be fine."

There's a snort from the door, and I look over at it. Standing in the doorway is the silver-haired boy from yesterday, and peeking over his shoulder is the little brown-haired boy.

"I remember you..." I say icily. "You're Riku, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

The little boy with the shock of brown hair pops up over Riku's shoulder. "And I'm Sora!"

There's a barely suppressed sarcastic giggle, and I look beyond them. Leaning against the door frame is Elenar, her hand daintily covering her mouth. She smiles.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I do that out loud?"

Her fawning tone disgusts me.

"Why, yes. Yes, you did." I stand and bow, with just a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "And what can I do for you, my lady?"

She comes in, and examines me, circling like a predator. She runs her finger up my nose, and flicks my bangs, and I realize she's flirting. How annoying. I step back, and cross my arms. "What do you want?"

Elenar pouts slightly. "The children wanted to see you. And I wanted to ask if you would like to come with me- I mean us, to visit Merlin and get some ice cream."

"No, thank you. I have a headache." Brought on by you, I add silently.

"Oh... That's too bad..." Obviously disinterested now, Elenar turns and walks away.

The little girl jumps off my bed and stands at my feet, staring up at me.

I look down at her. "What?"

"Riku says you're a traitor." She blinks at me. "What's a traitor?"

I kneel down so that I can be at her eye level. "It's... How do I explain this? It's like if you picked Sora to be on your team, but he went and told Riku's team where you hid your flag. That'd make him a traitor."

She seems to think about that. "Oh." A minute later. "Why does Riku think you're a traitor? Who did you tell about your flag?"

I stand up to my full height and look over at the stone-cold face of the boy in the door. "You know, I really don't know why Riku thinks I'm a traitor. You'll have to ask him."

Riku snorts. "You know perfectly well, Xehanort. Don't play dumb."

"You're amazingly suspicious for one so young."

He looks away, as if uninterested. "And you're an amazingly transparent liar."

"I am not a liar! I may be many things, but I'm not a liar!"

I get a ball of paper thrown at my head for my efforts.

"Where did you-" I look around my room, but I can't see either Sora or the source of the paper. There's a giggle and I spin to see Sora jumping up and down on my bed, a sheaf of scrap paper in his hand. Another clump of paper hits the back of my head. I spin around again, getting slightly more dizzy with each turn. "What are you-"

Riku idly tosses a wad of paper up and down in his hand. "This is revenge. Get used to it."

Sproing, sproing. "Whoo hoo!"

I turn around, and get pelted from behind with paper. "Get off of there!"

Turning again, I glare at Riku. "Stop that! Where are you getting all that paper?"

He pulls a notebook out from behind him and grins.

The little girl runs over and grabs Sora's arm, and tugs him off the bed. "Hey, don't do that. You'll unmake it!" Still holding Sora's arm, she totes him over to Riku and snatches the paper from both of them. "And you stop, you're wasting paper!" She tosses the sheaf of paper and the notebook to me, and, holding the back of the neck of their shirts, she pulls Sora and Riku out of the room, both protesting loudly.

"Hey, Kairi! Kairi! Stop!" "Ack! Stop, I'm choking!"

Sighing, I collapse onto the floor amid the piles of paper. I put the paper she gave to the side, but the notebook's cover flips up when I put it down, revealing bright colors inside.

Curious, I pick it back up, and thumb through it. There are pages torn out of it, but they appear to have been blank ones from the back, because, shuffling my hand around in the wads of paper surrounding me, I don't see any obviously colored ones. Turning my attention back to the book, I look at the pages.

They're filled with brightly colored pictures done in crayon, filled with sketches of those boys, a trio of cheerful friends, a stern looking black-haired man, and a place I've never seen, a yellow castle built high on a mountain. This must have been her home. I can feel the happiness she must have felt there in the drawings' bright colors.

"Um, excuse me?" I look up, and the girl's in the doorway. She points at the notebook. "Um, sorry, that's mine. Can I have it back?"

I pass it back to her. "Of course. But," she pauses in the doorway, and I continue, "can I ask you something?" She nods. I point to the book. "Did you draw those?" She nods again. "Was that your home?"

The girl shakes her head. "No."

"Oh, then where was your home?"

She looks at me steadily. "Here. I live here, in Radiant Garden."

I'm confused. "I don't understand. You just arrived, how could you-" But before I finish, I sense I'll only get a repeat of her previous statement. "Never mind that. Where was that other place?"

The girl stares at me blankly, "What other place?"

"The... never mind. What else do you have in there?"

She opens the notebook, and flips through it. She points to a picture of the silver haired boy, playing in a mountain pool with the brown haired one. "That's Riku and Sora. But you've already met them." She smiles at the pictures of the mountains. "That's pretty. I wish there was somewhere real like that."

"So, that place isn't real?"

Frowning, she flipped through some more pages. "No... I think I dreamed it." Snapping the book shut, she passes it to me, and smiles. "You know what? You can keep my book! I think you'll enjoy it."

"What? But these are your memories!"

"What's the use of drawing if you can't share it? Keep it! I want you to have it."

I rub the top of her head affectionately. "Thank you. I'll keep it safe for you. If you ever want it back, you only have to ask."

She smiles again, her face full of pure, childlike happiness. "Goodbye, mister! See you later!" The girl practically bounces out of the room.

I smile. She's sweet, giving me, a stranger that she's just met, something that obviously meant a great deal to her.

Then I look around my room and groan. There's paper everywhere, my bed's a mess, and my book is nowhere to be seen. I fall backward and just lie there, paper crunching with every move I make.

It's going to take a very long time to clean this up.