Title: Five Dates Jane Rizzoli Didn't Know She Went On...and One She Did
Author: Susan L. Carr skeeter451
Fandom: Rizzoli & Isles
Pairing: Jane Rizzoli/Maura Isles
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: I'm a total spoiler ho, so yeah, expect 'em.
Disclaimer: I don't own the girls. I just let 'em play with each other.
Author's Note: I'm a big fan of the Tess's novels. I love them more than I love the TV series. So there will be elements from them in this story, including people and situations all the way through the most recent, The Silent Girl. Is it September yet? However never fear, this is Rizzles, so I'll just be using those bits from both universes that make me happy. And I deserve to be happy, damn it! If you have any questions feel free to email me at skeeter451 at yahoo dot com. I'm a fantastic email pen pal.
Summary: Jane's great at detecting other people's lives, but when it comes to figuring things out on her own, she really sucks.
R&I
1 – Time's a Warpin'
The Medical Examiner's meticulous report lay neatly in a file folder resting on the detective's desk. The two were discussing the closure of their latest case and the upcoming trial when laughter from the hallway leaked through the closed door of the squad room. The women and the sergeant, all having skipped going out for lunch, instead sending the most junior detective and ambitious patrol officer out for spuckies, watched as the door crashed open and their errand boys literally danced their way through.
"Let's do the time warp again!" the two men sang in unison.
Detective Sergeant Korsak rolled his eyes and returned his attention to his computer, which Jane had intuited from the tinny sounds emanating from his headphones was tuned to kitty porn on YouTube again.
"What are you guys, five?" she asked.
"No we're just…" Frost started.
"A sweet transvestite…" Frankie continued.
"From transsexual…" Frost sang.
"Transylvania!" they concluded together doing a really great bump and grind.
"Like I said," Jane smirked as she grabbed the bag from her brother. She pulled two of the paper wrapped sandwiches out and handed one to Maura. "Five."
"I had no idea you were transsexuals," Maura said calmly. "But I thought you both were from the New England area?"
Both Frost and Frankie choked and sputtered and Jane smirked even more at her best friend's seemingly innocent words. Jane was one of the few who knew that even though she couldn't lie, Maura had no problem play acting.
"What?" The two young men exclaimed at the same time.
"No, oh no, we're not," Frankie said pointing between him and the other man.
"Not that there is anything wrong with that," Frost put in making a warding off gesture, but then realized it too closely resembled a fine impersonation of jazz hands and hastily stuffed them in his pants pockets.
Jane's eyes met Maura's and Jane could see the amusement twinkling in the Medical Examiner's eyes. "It's a song from a movie, Maura," she explained.
"Ah," Maura said nodding her head in understanding. "Which film?"
"Wait," Frankie said, a shocked looked on his face. "You've never heard of The Rocky Horror Picture Show?"
Maura's eyebrows rose at the patrol officer. "Should I have?" she asked.
"No," Jane promptly interjected, accustomed to Maura's lack of experience when it came to the social customs of young and stupid American youth.
"What do you mean no, Jane?" Frankie persisted and Jane felt an urge to punch her brother. "Everyone knows Rocky."
"No, not everyone," she said, the sarcasm dripping from her voice. "Especially those who grew up overseas and pursued a first rate education so they could become the top in their field instead of getting stoned, dressing up and screaming at a movie screen."
"Oh," Frankie said, his posture shrinking as he realized he had probably hurt the sensitive doctor. "I'm sorry, Maura," he apologized.
"It's quite all right, Frankie," Maura said, smiling widely at the uniformed man. "So what is this film about?"
Jane snorted as she swallowed a huge bite from her sub. "Geeks, freaks and aliens singing and dancing in a haunted castle," she said and then took another, even larger, bite.
Maura blinked for a moment. "So it's a musical?"
"It's total camp," Frost explained. "It started as a low-budget satire of bad horror and sci-fi movies and then over time became a cult classic. Today, it's the longest running theatrical release. There's a midnight showing at the Lowe's in Harvard Square."
"It's not just a movie, Maura," Jane said to her best friend. "It's an experience."
Maura's eyebrows clenched again in one of the many expressions Jane adored about her friend. "How does one experience a film?" the doctor asked.
"Audience participation," Frankie answered. "People dress up as the characters in the movie and talk back to the screen, often changing the lines to make them funnier."
"And lots of folks will dance in their seats, the aisles or the stage if the theater has one," Frost added.
"Don't forget the props," Korsak interjected from his corner of the bull pen. He had removed his headphones and was in the process of devouring his spuckie, half of which seemed to have landed on his shirt.
Jane leaned back in her chair as she eyed her large man. "Let me guess," she said beginning to think her smirk would be forever plastered on her face after this conversation. "Eddie?"
"Hot patootie, bless my soul," Korsak said, a smile playing over his greasy lips.
"I really love that rock 'n' roll!" Frankie and Frost burst out again in song.
"Gotta love Meat Loaf," Korsak chuckled and shook his head in remembrance of his younger, and undoubtedly slimmer, days.
"The film is about meatloaf?" Maura asked.
"Meat Loaf, as in the singer, is in it," Frost said trying to be helpful.
"But he is dinner," Jane quipped causing all of the others in the room, except the Medical Examiner, to burst into laughter.
"I thought you were more an Animal House guy," Frost said to Korsak.
"I can't be both?" At the junior detective's shrug, Korsak added with a smirk. "But yeah, I used to do Rocky back in the seventies. I've still got the bloodstained leather jacket in my closet."
Jane chuckled while Maura looked alarmed. "Bloodstained?" the doctor questioned.
"This time it's definitely reddish-brown stains, Doc," Frost said and Korsak nodded.
"Sounds…fascinating," Maura said thoughtfully.
Frost wiped his lips neatly with a napkin and then threw away the detritus from his lunch. "Come on, Riff Raff," he said to Frankie as he stood up from his desk. "It's time for the Simpson interview."
"Okay," Frankie agreed also tossing his trash in Jane's wastebasket. "Can I do the questioning this time?"
"No," Frost said and added with a smirk, "But if we need to break down the door again, I'll let you do it."
"Why do I always have to…?" Frankie grumbled and the rest was lost as the two men left the squad room.
Korsak chuckled and replaced the headphones over his ears and Jane and Maura went back to their prep work on their testimony as various detectives and officers came in and out of the squad room. Finally, one of the officers stopped at Jane's desk. He was wearing a shy, hesitant smile on his face as he cleared his throat.
Jane looked up and inwardly groaned. Maura looked amused.
"What can I do for you, Officer Duncan?" Jane asked, plastering a smile on her face.
"Ronald, please," the officer said and Maura suppressed a giggle at the blush appearing on the man's face.
"Okay…," Jane drawled. "What can I do for you?" she repeated, reining in her patience.
"Oh," Duncan seemed to come out of a daze and awkwardly handed her a thick envelope. "Messenger brought this for you. I thought I'd bring it up so you wouldn't have to wait for the mail clerk."
Jane took the envelope, glanced at it and tossed it on her desk. "Thank you," she said. "You didn't have to do that, but it was very kind of you."
"Oh, it was no bother," Duncan said eagerly. "I don't mind."
"Yes, well, thanks again," Jane said suddenly regretting all that sensitivity training as she was getting ready to offend.
"Okay," Duncan said, his awkwardness reaching a new height as he stared at the brunette detective. "I'll see you later, okay?"
"Okay," Jane said. "Bye now." She gave him a little wave.
Maura chuckled as Duncan left the squad room. "He's so sweet."
"Vomit," Jane groaned.
"Aren't you going to open it?" Maura asked indicating the package.
Jane's expression hardened as she shook her head. "I already know what it is," she said, picking up a pencil and opening up the folder, hoping Maura would drop the subject.
"Oh?" Maura frowned at the sudden change of atmosphere.
Jane sighed, knowing her silence would only hurt her friend. "Final papers from my lawyer," she explained, her voice heavy. "All signed, sealed and officially delivered by my own personal crushing puppy dog."
"Oh Jane," Maura said, suddenly understanding Jane's change of mood. Her friend had stoically endured a lot of emotional upheaval during the past few months and Maura couldn't help but admire Jane's strength of will. It was an experience she had herself gone through and knew the heartache it brought firsthand. She laid a comforting hand on Jane's arm. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Jane said, brushing the apology off with a waved hand. "I'm not. It's over and done with. He's gone and out of our lives. It's time to move on."
"I'm sure the both of you will be fine and that's a very good attitude to have," Maura said encouragingly. She watched thoughtfully as Jane continued to make notes on her legal pad and then an idea occurred to her. "Jane, would you go with me this weekend?"
"Go where?" Jane asked, looking up.
"To see The Rocky Horror Picture Show," Maura said.
Jane blinked. "Maura, we're too old for that. Rocky's for kids."
"So what?" Maura said with a shrug. "Like you said, it's an experience and one is never too old for new experiences. Don't you agree?"
Jane tilted her head at her friend and smiled. "You're right," she said with a nod. "You shouldn't miss out on it, but we're not dressing up." She pointed a warning finger at Maura and added. "And do not do any research beforehand. If you're going to experience it, then you should go into it without any preconceived notions. All right?"
"All right!" Maura said eagerly, dancing in her seat and once again Jane was charmed by her friend's enthusiasm. "I'll pick you up then?"
"Sure," Jane said and pushed the pad toward the other woman. "Now let's get back to work, Doctor Isles. We've got a perp to convict."
R&I
Maura gaped at the line of people waiting in front of the theater as her and Jane turned the corner onto Church Street. "Oh my!" she exclaimed.
Jane grinned as her friend observed the crowd of mostly young people in wild costumes. Maura's eyes were bright with excitement, but then the doctor's expression grew worried. "We should have come earlier," Maura said as they took their place at the back of the line. "We might not get a seat."
"Oh, we will," Jane reassured. "Most of these people won't be sitting down anyway."
"Really?" Maura said, frowning. "They let more people in than are seats? Is that even safe? Fire codes specifically dictate that…"
Jane cut her off. "Maura, when you do Rocky you don't worry about fire codes, you just have a good time. Experience it. Well, in this case, be it. Okay?"
Maura nodded in agreement, trusting Jane enough to know that the protective woman wouldn't knowingly put them in a dangerous situation. Jane smiled and gave her a warm look that the doctor felt low in her abdomen.
The line began to move forward and when the two reached the ticket window, Jane pulled out her wallet only to have it shooed away by Maura. "I've got this, Jane," the doctor said. "I asked you after all."
"If you're sure," Jane said. "You also paid for dinner."
"I'm having a lovely time with you," she said, smiling brightly at her friend.
"Good, I'm glad," Jane said and opened the theater door for the other woman.
The large lobby was filled with mingling people as Jane strong armed her way to the concession stand for drinks while Maura people watched. She noticed that there were many people dressed similarly, some in fishnet stockings and corsets and others in strange versions of domestic servants and party goers from some kind of warped masked ball. Then she realized that what at first glance appeared to be a couple dressed in unfortunately outdated clothes were also, based from the many such couples dressed the same way, characters from the film. Then someone brushed past her wearing a leather jacket covered in reddish-brown stains and she smiled as she imagined a much younger and much thinner Vince Korsak wearing such a costume.
Jane returned carrying two cups and a large bag of popcorn under her arm. Maura relieved Jane of one of the cups and the two headed for the theater. As expected, the theater was crowded, most of the people either on or in front of the large stage.
"Did you know that most modern theaters no longer have stages?" Maura commented as Jane paused in the aisle to look around. "However, in Europe there are many older ones that still have remnants of them, but I've never viewed a film where the audience was allowed to occupy the stage."
Jane finally spotted her goal. "Come on," she said taking Maura's free hand and pulling her up the stairs to the last row of the theater.
"Jane, this row is full," Maura stopped walking causing Jane to turn around.
"Maura, I'm not getting hit by flying toast and toilet paper," Jane said.
"Toast?" Maura said, but Jane ignored her and yanked on Maura's hand, forcing the Medical Examiner to follow.
Jane paused in the middle of the row and glared down at a couple of college-aged young men.
"Hey, wanna move it, bitch?" one of them said.
Jane smiled tightly and moved her jacket slightly to reveal the badge and gun. "Wanna empty your pockets or would you rather give up your seats for a couple of ladies, bitch?" she asked.
The two boys glanced uneasily at each other and then quickly stood and made their way out of the row.
Jane settled into her seat with a satisfied smile. "Have a seat," she said to an astonished Maura.
Maura sat down and placed her drink in the cup holder. "How did you know they had drugs?"
Jane snorted as she dug into the popcorn. "I worked narcotics long enough to recognize the bloodshot eyes of a stoned frat boy," she answered through a mouthful of butter and salt.
Maura chuckled and crossed her legs as she got comfortable. She daintily picked out a single kernel of corn from the bag and popped it in her mouth. "You're too much," she said.
"Yeah, but that's why you love me." Jane grinned cheekily at her, revealing perfect teeth studded with bits of white popcorn.
Maura rolled her eyes and as the theater darkened, she could only stare in fascination as a pair of disembodied lips floated on the screen and the theater erupted in chaos.
R&I
The two giggling women danced their way into Jane's apartment. Jane was behind Maura and her hands on the other woman's hips as they did a funky version of the Time Warp.
"Let's do the time warp again!" The two women sang the final line of the song and collapsed in a heap on the sofa much to the astonishment of Joe Friday and the young college student who had been quietly studying at the kitchen counter.
"I take it a good time was had by all?" the girl asked.
Still chuckling, Jane gave Joe a pat on the head and stood up. "Yeah, but I think Maura's still a little shell-shocked," she answered and pulled out her wallet. She handed a couple of bills to the girl. "Thanks, Lora. She's asleep?"
"Finally," the girl groaned as she tucked the money and her computer into a backpack. "I don't know how you do it, Detective."
"Some days I wonder that myself," Jane said and led the girl to the door. "Goodnight."
"Night," she said. "And good night, Dr. Isles."
A still giggling Maura simply waved a hand in farewell.
Jane locked the door and fetched a couple of beers from the refrigerator. She returned to the couch and handed one to Maura. "I'm not even gonna ask if you had fun," she said.
"So much fun, but Jane, what a fascinating example of what Detective Frost rightly labeled a cult experience." As if realizing she was about to go off on a lecture tangent and not wanting to spoil the mood, Maura turned to Jane and asked, "So you did that a lot when you were younger? I noticed you were quite familiar with the film's script, lyrics and the audience's antics."
"Oh yeah," Jane answered with a smirk. "Almost every weekend starting from senior year and all the way through college."
"Why did you stop?"
"Had to get serious when I joined the academy," Jane answered with a shrug. "Weekends became the time for extra training in the gym and on the firing range. I was getting too old to be doing that after drinking and partying all night."
"Your dedication certainly paid off as you're now top in your field," Maura said, remembering Jane's earlier compliment. "I'm glad you did have that much fun in your youth. I only wish…" She broke off wistfully.
"Hey, at least you've had the experience now," Jane said, wanting to sooth her friend. She gave Maura's hand a gentle squeeze.
Maura returned Jane's smile and patted the hand on top of hers, her hand lingering on the warm flesh. "And I'm very happy I experienced it for the first time with you, Jane," she said.
Jane looked into her friend's shining eyes and shrugged, only happy that Maura was happy at this moment in time. "Here's to new experiences," she said holding up her beer bottle.
"To new experiences," Maura echoed and clinked her bottle against Jane's.
After they drank, Jane asked, "Stay the night?"
"I'd love to," Maura instantly agreed, secretly glad that Jane had extended the invitation.
"Gotta warn ya, though," Jane said as she stood to dump their bottles in the recycle bin and turn off the lights. "Her Highness will probably be up at the crack of dawn."
"I don't mind," Maura said. She stretched her back, already anticipating the relaxing warmth of Jane's bed. "Oh! Maybe tomorrow we can teach her yoga so she can go with us in the future?"
"Really, Maura?" Jane asked as they headed down the hallway. She looked askance at her friend. "Yoga? Think about that for a moment."
Maura did just that and her face fell. "Oh, you're right. Jane and Mini-Jane. Well, maybe when she's older."
Jane snorted doubtfully as she stopped outside the first bedroom door while Maura continued on to the master. "But maybe we can take her to your house tomorrow instead. You know she loves to play with Bass."
Maura sighed. "I know, but I really am afraid that he will never understand the concept of 'giddy up'."
Jane laughed. "That's okay," she said. "She loves him anyway. And she adores you."
"The feeling is mutual," Maura said warmly. "Now go give Regina a kiss for me and come to bed."
"See you in a few," Jane said after a long look at the other woman. Then she went inside, eager to spend more time talking with the best friend she's ever had.