He had always been lost after Hisana died and nothing could change that. Byakuya's heart had become cold and closed off to the world and I had accepted that. My love for him would never matter and yet my heart still yearned for him.

Sometimes love feels like pain, and sometimes I wonder if it's all the same.

He was a captain while I was just a mere third seat under Soi Fon. She was an excellent captain and didn't take excuses from anyone. That was part of the reason I was a minor disappointment. I was told to be an amazing fighter but every time I fought I became more depressed and fought recklessly.

Sometimes life feels just like rain, 'cause you never know when it's gonna fall down on you.

The reason I fought so recklessly was because I had no drive to fight. Why should I fight when I had nothing? Why should I fight when the one thing I want is out of reach forever? I guess that's just life though. That might be why I took this mission, the suicide mission that would end my life.

I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself.

My mission was to invade Huecco Mundo and assassinate Sousuke Aizen. I know that a mere third seat is weak in comparison but I took it because I need to feel worth. Maybe if I can do it I will start to become better, and if not then at least I will be gone.

Sometimes faith feels like doubt, and sometimes I wonder if we'll ever get out.

I'm pretty sure they knew I was coming because I never made it to Sousuke Aizen. I only made it to Ichimaru Gin. He was a tough fighter but I barley won. I knocked him unconscious and practically crawled to an empty room and nursed my wounds.

Sometimes life hurts just like now, but you gotta know it's all gonna come back around.

I was healing myself for a few hours with what little energy I had when I heard voices outside the door talking about the intruder, me. I was to be killed on sight, an order by Sousuke Aizen himself.

I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself.

A few more hours passed and I felt fatigue catching up with me. I knew that if I dared to sleep I was practically screaming to be killed. Irregardless I closed my eyes and gave in to the powerful need instantly calming down and forgetting where I was.

Find yourself; I can't help you find yourself.

My past self would laugh at me now. I would ask myself how careless I had become and how weak.

Find yourself.

She, my past self, would merely say we win some them lose some but that attitude was gone along with my need to live. Maybe if I had guarded my heart better I wouldn't be this mess.

And we were sixteen at the time, and nothing could ever change our minds.

"Have you become this low?" my sword Luna growled at my state. I was still dreaming but I could always hear her.

We were one step below invincible, and we always fought it.

"If you have no one to fight for then why am I here? I do not wish to disappear with someone as worthless as you," she lectured. My eyes widened in realization that she would die as well if I did. "Just finish the mission and go home. He may not love you or even know your existence but if you die here he never will."

You've never been the same; you were so scared to make a name. Then you threw it all away and I wish you'd come back now.

I sat up suddenly and grabbed my sword ignoring my muscles protests. I felt the air around myself and then ran out of the room towards Sousuke Aizen's spiritual pressure. I avoided everyone on the way saving my energy for the main battle and when I arrived he smirked like he planned this.

I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself.

The fight was huge and the building around us was crumbling. He stood tall while I was nearly on my knees. "You are too weak to defeat me. What made you think you could beat me?" his smirk returned and I fell to my knees. Another wound appeared on my back.

I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself.

I felt a blackness creeping up in my sight and voices started turning into mumbling and I knew I had lost. "Don't give up hope," my sword whispered even though she knew that this battle was lost. I lost my sight and became numb to the world in the next few seconds.

I wish you well. I wish you well, on this trip to find yourself. I wish you well, wish I could help but I can't help you find yourself.

I was lying on a bed in squad fours care when I awoke and it confused me to no end. I tried to connect with my sword but she remained quiet and I groaned. I tested out my limbs and sat up nearly screaming from the pain before lying back down.

Find yourself.

My captain visited me telling me that she was proud I had nearly succeeded and then told me that the person who helped me finished the fight. I was tempted to ask who but knew if I did I would feel heart break knowing it wasn't Byakuya.

I can't help you find yourself.

I was exiting the entrance of squad four when I saw him walking towards me. I held my breath and averted my eyes to not feel disappointment when he walked past. I sighed quietly and continued walking when I thought he had passed but was stopped by a hand on my elbow. I turned around and gasped seeing him. "Captain Kuchiki!"

Find yourself.

"When you are well enough, will you accompany me to have tea?" he enquired.

I can't help you find yourself.

I stared at him silently and nodded. "When we are both well enough, I will."

~ B – L – E – A – C – H ~

Thanks for reading! I used the song "Wish You Well" by Thousand Foot Krutch.

I do not own Bleach or the song I used!

Please review! =]