The Anti-Um-B*tch Squad

A/N- Secondary school education is boring, so in a Science lesson, (done an hour's worth of work in about 5 minutes) and decided to do this. d('_')b MERLIN :P It's just GG and Vixx, and our friend Lizz. Pheebs is in a different room, off doing sciency stuff, in our room it's all Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey, Spacey Wacey, so not at all sciency

Summary- What happens when three fangirls get bored in a science lesson, and need something to "SQUEE!" at, includes time-travel-ly weirdness. Rated T for Torchwood and Jack. AU! Only canon pairings. Martha is with Torchwood (Exit Wounds happened but Tosh and Owen are alive), Eleventh Doctor (travelling with Amy and Rory), Season 4 for Merlin, Order of the Phoenix for Harry Potter.

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Disclaimer- We blatantly own these shows/books/films and our billionaires from the royalties and that's why we're writing FANfiction.

GERONIMO!

Harry stormed away from his detention with Umbridge, blood glistening crimson on the back of his hand. Ginny and Neville were sauntering towards him, a look of disgust on Ginny's face as she saw the blood. After a few minutes walking, the stopped and stared at one another.

"We need to get rid of her!" Neville exclaimed, staring at Harry's hand as Harry was pacing.

"I know, but how?" Ginny asked.

"I don't know." Harry replied. "I need a way to defeat Umbridge." He thought thrice. Harry stopped, his foot barely touching the floor as he and the others noticed a sound coming from beside them.

They had not realised they were on the 7th floor, not until the door to the Room of Requirement materialized out of the wall. Harry walked over to it and pulled it open, expecting a book of spells to be inside.

What he was not expecting was a giant, white, gleaming castle; a metal tower with water cascading down the sides; two dragons hiding in a cave, glaring at each other; and a police box that reminded Harry of a television show that he used to watch when he was younger.

"MERLIN'S BEARD!" Ginny and Neville cried out as they stepped inside.

"Excuse me." A raven-haired man said as he came out of the dragon-filled cave. "I'm pretty sure I don't have a beard."

"We never said you have a beard." Neville said, confused.

"Yes you did. Merlin doesn't have a beard, and Merlin? Where have you been? I told you to help me get ready for the hunting trip. I had to have another servant do it!" The blonde pointedly looked, with a slightly pouty face, to the raven-haired man.

"Sire, I don't think we're going hunting."

"And why not Merlin?"

"Have you looked around, Arthur?"

"You called me "Arthur"!"

"Well, it is your name, prat."

Harry's eyes were switching between the two men, in a fashion similar to those watching a tennis match. Ginny looked amused. Neville looked confused (again).

"Merlin! You're supposed to call me SIRE!"

Harry's eyes widened in shock. "Wait, Wait. So you're Merlin?" He pointed to the nodding raven-haired man. "And you're Prince Arthur?" He asked the blonde.

"No!" Harry looked confused and Merlin was snickering in the background. "I'm the KING!" Merlin burst out laughing at Arthur's outraged expression, causing Arthur to turn his attention back to him. "And you, where were you?"

"I was, um, I, um, I came from over there." He pointed to the cave, where the dragons had stopped glaring at each other and were chuckling as they watched the argument.

"So are you "Merlin"? As in THE Merlin?" asked Harry.

"Well, he's the only Merlin in Camelot." replied Arthur. Ginny and Neville did their award-winning fish impressions at this statement, while Harry tried to remain calm in the face of the legendary King Arthur and MERLIN, the father of modern magic.

A deep laugh ran through the room, originating from the large, golden dragon in the cave with the small, white dragon giggling behind his wing. Arthur's head snapped around to glare at Merlin, after looking at (and recognising) the dragon.

"You told me I had killed the dragon!" Arthur growled, Merlin flinched, looking ready to run away; screaming with arms flailing; and hide. Arthur turned back to the dragons, drawing Excalibur as he went. Merlin could only watch as he charged towards the dragon, aiming to kill them, and armed with the only blade that could (without the intervention of magic). Harry, Ginny and Neville were still in shock. Merlin snapped out of his shock at Arthur trying to kill the dragons as his magic brushed the blade, and felt no answering magic. The sword was not enchanted, therefore not Excalibur. (Inside the castle, a servant was running around like a headless chicken, as he had found King Arthur's trusted sword in the bathtub. He had not thought of why it was in there, only that the King would kill him when he found out he had the wrong sword.) Arthur was STILL running, (it was a big room) and was going fast enough that he could not prevent the man, who had jumped in front of him, from impaling himself on the blade.

A/N- If there are any mistakes, please tell us in a PM/review, we have already started on the next chapter, so should be up soon (max. of a week). Please note the sarcasm in the disclaimer and don't sue. WARNING-Will probably be Gwen-bashing (she may die ) in the next chapter (sorry, Vixx doesn't like her).