Special thanks to Chelsie Whitlock for volunteering to beta this for me. Lord knows it needed it desperatly... Thanks to MaitresseSaint, MommyBrook, CatieLardin, Lilly Monroe, JCM514, Kitty Cullen and my bff Dixiehellkat101 for their encouraging words and support during this process.

"If Ever I could Love"

Chapter 1

Songs for Chapter 1:

If Ever I could Love - Keith Urban, Rock My world (Little Country Gril) - Brooks and Dunn, New Fool at an Old Game - Reba McEntire, Melt - Rascall Flatts, Kiss A Girl - Keith Urban, As If - Sara Evans, Standing Right in Front of You - Keith Urban, Commitment - LeAnn Rimes, No Place that Far - Sara Evans

Jasper's POV

It was spring in New York City, sunny but with a crisp breeze blowing the air. I was living in a high-rise apartment complex with a parking garage and a private rooftop deck, where I enjoyed star gazing at night and laying out in the sun in the day. I lived alone and was quite happy with my solitude.

I grew up in the city and have always loved the city life. I spent my Saturdays at the beautiful park around the corner, watching people and feeding the birds. I usually drove to work in my black Eclipse. It was a little sporty but fit my reserved and playful personality. I had always wanted a good reliable vehicle and even though I was living in a large city with subway trains and buses, I just felt better driving myself around.

I worked on the 3rd floor of a big advertising agency and my job has always been very hectic. The company was in one of the larger buildings in the city and covered the first 3 floors. I was always the first to come in and the last to leave. I was the IT manager and very busy.

That Monday was an ordinary day at work. I arrived at 5:30 AM and answered emails needing my attention. My office might have seemed disorganized to the naked eye. Of course I knew where everything was. My secretary, Rose, would not be in until 7 AM so I made my coffee and got setup with the days' to-do list, as I did every other morning. I would be running in a thousand different directions if I didn't do it. I couldn't afford to miss something and cause delays. Delays equaled missing wages and that was unacceptable.

There were two others that worked in the department with me. Both were very intelligent and competent women. Bella, who was originally from Texas, had been with the company for the last six years. She was my right hand. Alice was originally from Mississippi and a little greener. She had only been there four years. They were both my extra set of eyes and ears. In a place this big, they were needed. Over the past few years they had become best friends. They spent almost all their work time and some of their personal time together. They were both pretty adventurous and had a lot of the same interests.

They would be arriving soon and I was ready to start the day. At 7 AM I had a meeting scheduled with them to go over the to-do list. There were a lot of things to get through. Since Bella had only been back to work a few days from her vacation it was going to be a very busy day. As I got ready to walk out of their office, Bella stopped me.

"Jasper, can you help me with the algorithms on this new software program? I can't get the chart for the company's accounts to work. I tried to work it ten different ways but it will not compute," she said in a huff.

"Sure Bella. Pull it up and let me see what you've got," I said, smiling.

She's frustrated that she is not able to figure this out. I hope I will be able to figure it out and can help her.

She sat down in front of her computer and pulled all the program files up. I leaned over her shoulder, as she explained her problem with the system... but she was all I could think about.

Damn she smells good... I can't think....

"Okay, I need to go through it so leave your computer up when you go to lunch and I'll look at it further," I said, turning to walk out of the door.

Bella's POV

Jasper was standing over me as I rambled on about my problems. I had a hard time concentrating as my mind wandered. What the hell is he doing to me? I think that's Curve cologne... Damn it! Why doesn't he notice me?

Jasper was everything a woman could ever want in a man. He was a clean cut, active, 26 year old with light olive skin. He had dark hair that's a little curly on the top, and wore wire rim glasses. He had a lean but muscled body. Those Black Dockers, white button down shirt and a skinny black tie and black loafers, made me melt. Did he not know how hot he was? He always had the company issued blackberry, cell phone w/blue-tooth and zip drives with him. He's just a fucking hot, geek god! Calling Geek squad....

"Oh my God!" I said, slamming my head into my crossed arms on my desk. Alice came over to my desk.

"What's wrong with you, girl?" Alice huffed, fighting a giggle.

I looked her in the eyes and took a deep breath before I spoke. "He's killing me. I want to take him by the shoulders and push him down on this desk and fuck him hard."

Alice looked at me with serious curiosity and said, "What?" Her shock at my abrupt aggressive statement was a bit funny.

"Ali, I've had the biggest crush on him for the last couple of years. He's one of the nicest people I know and he is just too fucking sexy. I don't know how much longer I can handle these urges. I know it's against the rules to fraternize with upper management but I just want him," I whined.

"Dude, stop being a chicken and just tell him how you feel," Alice said, shaking her head at me.

"I can't," I said, in a raspy cracking voice. "What if he doesn't feel the same way? I wouldn't be able to show my face around here again."

Alice wrapped her arms around me, but there wasn't anything she could really do. Maybe he'd come around or I would be brave enough to broach the subject one day.

Most days we worked from 8am to 5pm, I was working late. I was trying to work on those damn program files. Jasper had gotten a call from downstairs and never made at lunchtime so I trudged along. It was wearing me down and I was exhausted.

Jasper came into our office about 6:15pm and sent me home.

"Bella, go home. You look exhausted. I will look the program over and it will be fixed in the morning, okay?" He said, smiling.

"Okay," I said grabbing my bag. "Good night, I will see you in the morning."

He nodded and I made my way down to the lobby. I hailed a cab and headed home. The stress had me so worn out that when I got home from work at about 7pm all I did was eat dinner as I watched TV. I went to bed around 10pm and had a dream I could not believe. I, Bella Swan was on vacation with Jasper.

He's wearing nothing but a tight pair of swim shorts. He has a glorious body, lean muscles cascading down his chest and abdomen. We are on the beach in Mexico, together. Drinking margaritas and having a great conversation. I lean in and kiss his cheek and he smiles at me. I reach around him and grab a handful of hair. He pulls me onto his lap.

He kisses me eagerly as he puts his hand around my waist and pulls me against his erection. I moan as my body aches for him. He yanks my bottoms off and removes his shorts. I lower myself, facing him onto his awaiting cock. My head falls back as the moans fall out of me. Our bodies settle into a fast, hard rhythm. My back arches as I feel my muscles tighten around his cock. A few hard thrusts and I scream out as I come. He follows closely with his own orgasm.

As I collapsed onto his chest I woke up. I was covered in sweat and breathing hard. Jesus! That dream made me decide to see how things progressed with him. Maybe Alice was right?

Jasper's POV

I settled into her chair and searched the computer file, quickly located the problem and had it fixed in less than an hour. I just had to tweak a few of the calculation procedures on the system. As I started to turn off her computer, her email opened. She'd left in a hurry and didn't close it, so it automatically popped up saying, 'you have mail' and the file opened.

Her sister sent her copies of the pictures from their Mexico trip, with a note:

Thanks for the memories, babe. I had a wonderful time. I'm glad you were there. I miss you and love you. Hope you get to come home soon. Talk to you later.

Love,

Cheryl

P.S. I have attached a picture from ya'lls Awards Banquet, Enjoy.

This caught my attention, and before I knew what I was doing I was opening the file to look at it. I never realized until that moment the look in her eyes as she gazed at me that night. The gleam in them. Was she really into the moment or me? I was beginning to see her in a whole new light.

She is absolutely beautiful in her short red mini dress and heels, standing next to me.

There were other pictures to come up of her and her sister on the beach. Bella was wearing a huge smile, a yellow bikini, and a straw hat holding a large margarita. The next was a picture of her in a short black dress with heels, and one of her in a body suit by a surfboard. Wow. She is... those legs... Jesus. I looked at my watch to check the time and realized I'd been looking at her pictures for over an hour. I got up and shut the computer down and headed to my office finish up a few things before heading home.

I walked through my door at 8:30pm, food bags in hand. I got settled on the couch with my fried rice and chicken meal from the Chinese restaurant, since I have no time to cook. I ate and watched a little television. Somewhere between Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the 10 o'clock news I fell asleep. I dreamed about Bella in that yellow bikini.

We are on the beach in Mexico laughing and talking when she leans in to kiss me. I run my hands down her sides and pull her to me. I want to be inside her. I quickly pull her itty bitty bikini off and plow into her. She is so fucking tight. I set a rhythm we are both happy with. I have her bent over a chair as I pull out of her and slam back into her tight, slick, sex. After a few more hard thrusts she screams as she comes around me.

I sat up on the couch, covered in sweat and breathing hard. What in the hell was that? I looked at the clock and jumped from the couch. It was already 6am and I was going to be late for work.

Getting undressed and into the shower, my raging hard-on caught my attention. I made quick work of my problem and hurried to get dressed. I was only a few minutes from work but I was never late.

Bella's POV

I came in early to check on my program. I was desperately hoping that Jasper had gotten it fixed, or at least that he figured out where the problem was. I looked around and he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he is downstairs? I heard the elevator doors open and caught a glimpse of Jasper running into his office. I looked up at the clock and saw it was 7:25 am. He came in with wet hair, curls dangling in his eyes. He stuck his head in and said good morning as he walked by.

He looked delicious.

When my computer came up I noticed I had mail. Did I already look at this? I don't remember it being in here last night... I was tired... I would remember this email, right? Did Jasper go thru my emails?, He wouldn't, would he?

"I must have clicked on it but not looked at it," I said, aloud.

"Bella, what are you talking about?" Alice asked me as she walked towards the fax machine.

"Oh, nothing just talking to myself," I said, laughing. "I can't remember getting this email, and was wondering if it came when Jasper was on my computer last night."

"Do you think he'd look at your pictures if they were on your computer? I mean did you leave your email open last night when you left?" Alice asked.

"Alice, I don't know, I was exhausted and in a hurry to get home," I huffed.

"Well, if you left it open, he would have had to close it so he would have seen them. I don't think he would intentionally open your files. That's not like him," Ali stated firmly.

I knew he'd never do that I was just not thinking. "You're right," I said as I answered my emails and messages.

Alice's POV

I hope these two figure out what in the hell they are doing to each other, they are making me crazy.

They think I don't see the way they look at each other.

He definitely has the hots for her, but he's afraid she'll shoot him down. If he only knew. God, I should march right in his office and tell him. That's not my choice to make, though. Ugh! What can be done to make them realize they both feel the same towards each other? I could corrupt a file in Bella's computer in a way that she'd have to get him to fix it. That's not right... What a conundrum... What can be done?

I walked into the copy room, leaving Bella alone, not voicing any of my opinions. They'd probably not pay me any attention anyway. I watched as Jasper and Bella interacted, they were just clueless.

Jasper's POV

I found any reason to talk to Bella that morning. That dream had me wanting her, more than I thought possible. My body burned for her. As I came down the hall I decided to ask her about her program. I knew it was fixed but did she?

"Hey Bella, have you tried your program yet?" I asked from the doorway.

"Not yet," she said.

I walked over to her desk and leaned back resting my ass on the corner. As I looked at her, pushing my glasses up my nose I saw her blush. It made her skin glow. I saw she had her email up and the guilt was getting the better of me. I needed to tell her. She's looking good today. Holy Mary Mother of Jesus! She smells so good. I think that's Ralph Lauren, Romance... ummmm. Should I tell her? No don't open your mouth, are you crazy?

"So, what did you find wrong, last night?" she asked, curiously.

"You had an algorithm that was off by a degree. It didn't take that long to fix," I said. "Oh, you left your email and a few other files open so I closed them all down before I shut your computer down.

"Thanks, I was trying to figure that out this morning. I thought I had closed them, sorry," she mumbled.

"No problem, I was..." I was cut off mid sentence by a text for a crashed computer on the 2nd floor that needed my attention. "Well, if you will excuse me, I am needed on the 2nd floor," I said, walking to the door.

"See you later," Bella said, smiling.

"Hi, Alice, bye, Alice," I said as she came in the door.

"Bye," she said, giggling.

Bella's POV

Over the next couple of months, Jasper and I got closer. My infatuation with him grew, even though he remained oblivious of my feelings.

Alice and I were sitting at lunch one day when she sprung a load on me. "I know he has it as bad for you, as you do for him."

"Dude, you're crazy," I said. "There is no way he likes me!"

"Listen to me, I am not crazy! I see you two pussy-footing around each other every day and it's making me crazy! Just go up and tell him how you feel. He feels the same I promise you!" she said, emphasizing each word.

I decided a few days later to try and get a job somewhere else. I couldn't tell him, not then. The company rules clearly stated that we couldn't date if we worked together. Crap! I love this job. Where can I go? Will I like working anywhere else, with other people? I will miss Alice.

I told Alice what I decided and of course she didn't agree with it but she wanted to see me happy.

"I have an interview set up with a company in one of the central buildings next week," I told her.

It was the day I had my interview set up and confirmed. I left at lunchtime and told Alice, I'd be back soon, my cover story should anyone ask was that I had a 'Dr.'s appointment'. I hope this is the right choice. The further into the central building I got the more my nerves took over. I was scared that I'd not get the program design job, but even more nervous that I'd actually get it. Could I do this?

The woman behind the desk took my name and told me to have a seat. My heart was heavy; I was in a world of thought when she called my name and told me to go into the door to my right. The interview went great and I was told they'd contact me in the next week to let me know if I got the position or not. I went back to work and I needed to talk to Alice. She was always able to calm me down.

Alice's POV

A little after Bella left, Jasper came in the room looking around like he was lost. He was carrying a project folder and that could only mean more work for us all. As I studied his face, looking at her empty desk, I felt sorry for him, if he only knew.

"Bella still at lunch?" he asked.

"Yeah, she's not made it back from her doctor's appointment. She should be back anytime," I said.

I can't stand to betray Bella by telling him the truth but I hate lying to him. I hate being stuck in the middle of this shit! Ugh!! The poor bastard has no idea. This chick is crazy not to believe me. What else can I do? After he left I decided to talk to Bella when she got back from her 'doctor's appointment'.

Bella told me all about the interview and she thinks she has the job. "It will be a week or so before I know for sure."

A few days later she was at her desk when she got the call that she had the other job if she wanted it. She told them she felt she needed to give a two week notice and they accepted that. I had two weeks to slap some sense into these two. What a job that would be, I thought to myself shaking my head.

I feverishly tried to talk Bella out of this decision.

"There are things you can do to make him tell you how he feels," I told her.

Bella asked me in a clipped tone, "Like what?"

"Well for starters, you could wear that yellow dress you had on a couple of weeks ago. He all but drooled on you that day. Try 'accidentally' dropping something in front of him and bending down to pick it up letting your top fall open bit to show off the girls," I said fighting giggles.

That was definitely a way for her to get his attention; he was a man after all. Bella looked at me intrigued, but still nervous.

"That sounds devious," Bella said, a small smile quirking her lips.

"So what?" I snapped back. "Do you want him or not? This is not a hard thing to do. You have two weeks to change your mind or to have him change it for you. What do you have to lose?"

These two were really starting to grate on my nerves. Their attraction was so obvious to everyone but themselves. They were supposed to be the smart ones. The rest of the day went without incident and for that I was grateful. It gave me time to think of something I could do to get through to these two. I said goodnight to Bella as I left and headed home.

Chapter Notes: .God. Okay I will be honest this all started with a dream... gah!! IKR? But I hope you enjoy it... there will only be 4 chaps about this size as of now. I will have to see what happens *grins*

If you love it/hate it, let me know hit the pretty green button :)