What a damn pain that mission was. An attempt to clear out Cerberus from some slum colony on Benning. Every damn colonist was dead on arrival. This was just going too far.
Shepard could still feel the intense amounts of adrenaline coursing through her veins. There was anger, sadness, rage. She swore to herself that she'd tear Cerberus apart even if it was the last damn thing she did.
Once safely out of orbit, Shepard began shucking off her armor, letting it fall to the metal floor. The sounds of metal to metal reminded her of gunshots, and it did nothing but cause her rage to flare up once again.
Pulling her helmet off, she violently threw it across the armory where it slammed against the wall. The sound echoed throughout the large room.
Of course she was aware of her surroundings. The few Alliance cronies stationed to the Normandy who more often than not congregated to the armory for private chit chats. Then there was the shuttle pilot Cortez, who basically spent all his waking hours making sure everything was perfect. Lastly, there was him. Lieutenant James Vega.
Part of Shepard wanted to desperately to hate this man, but the other part wouldn't allow it. While being grounded, as the Alliance liked to call it, Lieutenant Vega was stationed as her personal guard.
Idiots. The whole lot of those Alliance people. Why she ever agreed to stay was far beyond her.
Maybe it was because even after being so horribly mean to the lieutenant, he still stuck by her side. That, even after Shepard refused to talk to him, he still smiled at her.
But it didn't matter. Nothing in this entire galaxy mattered.
Shepard slumped to her knees, balling her fists at her side. The red haired woman never heard his foot steps. Never heard his voice calling out to her. Only when he lightly placed his hand on her shoulder, did Shepard snap out of her thoughts.
"Lola, you okay?" was all the lieutenant said.
Lola. Maybe It was the little ways that he would show that he wasn't against her. He was never against her. Unless that one time in Shepard's cabin... They were against each other with nothing between them.
It was rare for her to show this much emotion, but she just couldn't help it. One can only deal with so much death and fighting before they break down.
Shepard closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to calm down.
"I don't know anymore, James," she finally responded.
After he had set Shepard's helmet down, he gave her shoulder a soft squeeze.
"I'm always here for you if you wanna talk," James said quietly before standing, offering an arm to his fearless commander.
With a light sigh, Shepard smiled as she took his hand, pulling herself to her feet. Though, when she tried to pull her hand back, James kept a light grip on her it.
She looked at him, trying to read his expression. Maybe it was still the adrenaline, maybe it was the stress. Maybe it was just him.
The lieutenant pulled her just a bit closer, enough to where he was able to pulls her into an embrace. Despite everything that had happened recently, Shepard found herself enjoying this. With a soft sigh, she leaned her forehead against his shoulder.
There was just something about this man that caused every bit of Shepard's well built defenses to crumble. She hated it. But she just couldn't hate him.
Maybe it was because he cared far more than he should. Maybe because even after Shepard pointing a gun at his face, he was still there. All those time she'd scream at him, throw chairs at him, he would always come back to her.
The two of them remained like that for just a few moments longer before James had slipped away from her. A smile formed on his face as he rested a hand on Shepard's hip.
If it had been anyone else besides James... Her James, she'd have probably broken their arm for insubordination.
But maybe it was because of all the times that she had snuck down to the armory when all the crew was asleep just to see him. Maybe it was because of the one time they had fucked in the shuttle. Maybe it was because of that other time they fucked on one of the procurement consoles and accidentally ordered nearly 3 million credits worth of ammo they had no weapons for.
"Everything's gonna be okay. I promise."
Just the way he spoke was enough to make her smile. And that's exactly what she did.
"I hope you're right, James," a whisper of a reply came from Shepard's voice.
Maybe it was because she loved him.