Title: Why Rufus has people who think for him
Pairing: telling would spoil the fun
Disclaimer: Nothing and nobody is mine, as much as I'd like that.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Drawing conclusions before knowing all the facts could have a bad outcome...
Warning: AU, crack
Author's note: If you ever go to Disneyland and buy a 30g round lollipop in the candyshop... think of this. Muahahaha!
Word count: 906

"My tongue is bleeding!"

"You licked it too hard. You need to be careful or it hurts."

Rufus instantly froze as these words drifted through the closed door; what he had been thinking about having vanished into nothing, leaving all of his attention for the conversation going on behind the door.

"Easiest thing is to just take the whole thing." Reno, judging by the overly loud, cheerful voice.

"I can't." Rude's quieter baritone. "It's too big. I can't get it all into my mouth."

Rufus literally forgot to breath, needing to extent a hand to hold onto the wall for support.

"You're just not doing it right." Reno again, a determined tone in his voice. "Wait, I'll show you."

Rufus felt his eyes grow huge. Of all things that could possibly happen between those two when they were off duty he would never have thought of this. Reno and Rude had both been in his services for countless years and not once would he have suspected that even one of them was inclined in that way. It would just have been too good to be true.

The silence following Reno's last statement left little to Rufus' imagination of what was just happening inside the room. He could only admire Rude's self-control, who didn't utter even the smallest of sounds.

"See?" Reno could be heard once more. "It's no problem."

"You always had a big mouth," Rude remarked. "But that one is much smaller. I could put all of it into my mouth as well."

Rufus needed to swallow hard, feeling his pants tighten uncomfortably. How many nights had he been dreaming about things like these, about Rude's strong, naked body next to his own, always having been certain there wasn't even the tiniest chance the big Turk would ever agree to those things… And now he grew witness of Rude trying to give lick Reno off…

"Besides, I like to be actually able to move my tongue. This thing is so big, I'd probably rather choke myself if I put it in too far."

Reno only sighed in response. "I never met anybody who made a simple thing like this more difficult. There's nothing about it, you put it in your mouth, you pull it out again whilst licking over it with your tongue, you put it back in…"

"It's just too big," Rude grumbled. "All I can do is lick it, but it makes my tongue bleed."

Rufus felt his knees grow shaky and he leaned completely against the wall, staring at the closed door in disbelief.

"Perhaps you just need to practice more," Reno stated. "Personally," movements could be heard and steps advancing on the door. "I can't wait all day for you to finally get finished. We'll see us on duty later."

The door opened and Reno stepped out. "Oh, hey Rufus!" Reno greeted him cheerfully, as he saw Rufus leaning against the wall. Closing the door behind him he then proceeded to make his way down the hallway, whistling, apparently completely at ease.

Rufus stared after him, thoughts whirling like a snowstorm in his head. After a few moments he pushed away from the wall, advancing on the door in front of him.

Rude raised his eyebrow, surprised, as he saw Rufus step into the room. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Uh," was all Rufus was able to say, as he approached Rude uncomfortably, the bulge between his legs a quite a hindrance.

The eyebrows rose even higher as Rude noticed the state of his boss. Oh, how Rufus wished he could read the expression behind those impenetrable sunglasses. "Rude," he whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "I am sorry; I didn't want to eavesdrop, but…" He tried to calm his breathing, to be able to speak. "I would never have dared to think you would agree to do such a thing, but…" Unsure about how to properly formulate his request Rufus simply extended a hand and put it on Rude's groin.

He could feel the large man jump under his touch and try to take a step back, but the table he was leaning against kept him from moving away. "Rufus!"

"You have no idea how many times I have dreamed of this, but I always thought you only liked women; but now that I ha-"

"I do only like women!" Rude interrupted him, shifting uncomfortably under Rufus' grasp, who hadn't moved his hand one bit.

"Oh, no need to try to hide it, I heard what you were doing with Reno, you-"

"And what exactly did you hear me doing with Reno?" Rude interrupted him again, his eyes large with astonishment under the cover of his sunglasses.

"Oh, everything," Rufus answered with a slight smile. "I heard how he told you to put him into your mouth, and how you wanted him to lick you…"

Rude stared at his boss for a moment, his mind slowly processing about what Rufus was actually talking. Then slowly, nearly hesitantly, he lifted one of his hands, showing Rufus a large lollipop he had been eating; small stains of red clinging to its white, glistening surface.

Rufus only stared at the lollipop, understanding nothing, until his gaze fell on the stick of a second, already eaten lollipop on the table, his mind finally making the link, nearly not hearing Rude's offer.

"But… I can give you a lollipop… if you want…"