Love.

Joy.

Laughter.

All these things unobtainable to the most mundane human being but as I sit here staring into the black abyss of my heart I know it all went wrong with a singular kiss. A kiss from a man who left a foul taste in my mouth, since then I have never been clean. A sick, sadistic individual who lives life day by day… one unwavering truth beating me into a bloody pulp. Unable to rationalize anything above else.

I love him.

A wish upon the darkest star.

A breath in the coolest of nights.

All risks I have taken, all risks that have left me more dead then the night before. I used to live but now my days are found looking for a singular way to survive. Just to get through until the sun sets and I can finally be at peace. The tears fall over my heart once more and I know I will never just be.

He took my life, my soul, all of me and for what? Nothing. That is all I have become. Nothing.

A life where I could just be me but as the waves keep coming crashing in, deeper and further then before I know they will soon draw me under.

Death.

Destruction.

Fear.

That has all I have become now and all I ever will be. The kiss of an angel brought me to life but as I fall quickly to earth I know the truth. He was never meant to be. We were never meant to be.

For my angel… he's my shooting star of unwavering devotion.

Falling back toward reality, cascading down from the heaven I once knew. Drawing me back toward the faint scent of a man I once loved but all but resent. I shudder at the way his mouth sloppily slides over mine, unable to get a breath in before it is over.

"Now that… baby was hot." The man rolls over my sticky body and back to his side of the bed, "Maybe we should try that again later." He winks and I cringe.

My fallen angel fell from heaven today. Instead of falling into the only loving arms he has know he fell into the dingy streets below. The scars he wears, of his tattered and broken wings, are the only constant reminder of the night we shared.

And that angel?

I will pray on a shooting star every night if that is what it takes.

Just to be happy once more.

For his love is worth more than all the setting suns and tainted sleep I have endured.

His love was worth my world.

For I have slowly learned, he is my world.

My everything.

Rising and setting sun.

I whisper his name into the sweat filled air but it is useless. For angels cannot hear the murmurs from the pits of hell.

And that hell is where I reside.

Living, breathing and existing without my other half… my better half.

My angel is on a shooting star.

And one day I will pray on that star, sending him back to me to eternally be linked in such a magical way even the gods stand in awe.

That is, if I can survive just one more night.

One more night in the pits of hell.

Just to find the one shooting star in a maze of black and blue.

With million in one odds, I know I need to keep breathing.

For that one chance… chance at my fairy tale ending.