Just moments after Lilly had exited; Stillman glanced over seeing a broken man standing next to him.
He knew that this man was the father of someone he always thought of as a daughter. Motioning quietly, Cooper than followed the other man outside. While the backdrop of cars driving around the busy streets of Philly was below them, John felt now that it was his place into intervene.
"Lil's had it hard, can't expect her to be the little girl that you left", he said. Paul breathed out while watching the city at work, "I made a terrible mistake, leaving her with that mother of hers. Lilly was right I did what was best for me, it should have also been for her".
John nodded, as Paul began to open up, "I lied about not telling my family about her, I just felt embarrassed about the man I was back then. 30 yrs ago I was someone that I wished I wasn't", while feeling hurt building up deep down inside, "What Lilly doesn't know is Ellen Rush isn't her biological mother".
New news of that made John turn and look at the other man, "So you're saying is that you left her, with a woman that wasn't even her real mother. What happened to Lilly's real mother"?
"She died a few days after Lilly's birth; I named her after her mother. I made a mistake by moving in with Ellen and things got worse. I know that Lilly's mother is hating me for what I had done to our daughter", as another breath was released, "I lost myself, and in a way I hurt my own daughter in the midst of everything".
With the news of this, John clearly was interested to know more, "You were hiding this from Lilly all these years, that's not an excuse for the stuff that happened to her. She's right for being angry at you; I wouldn't expect her to think any differently".
"I was once married to Lilly's real mother, we were happy. The truth is that I think that she may have been murdered, nothing adds up to why she had died. Her pregnancy was normal; Lilly came out safe and sound".
John didn't quite know what to make of this, "You're telling me that your first wife had been murdered in the same hospital where she had given birth to Lilly, a few days ago. How is that all possible", glaring at him, "Unless you are lying again".
However this clearly was the truth, "The truth is, I shouldn't have run to Ellen after losing my wife. I knew she was unstable; adding a baby into it wasn't a good thing. I guess I wasn't clearly thinking about the well being of my daughter. Just 25 years old, already a widower and a new dad; didn't really know how to handle a situation like this".
"You were old enough to understand what was right from wrong. I know what your daughter has been through and it's not been a good journey for her. What happened to her young life, which you should have been around to protect and stopped"?
Paul felt more guilt creeping up on him, "I even changed Lilly's last name to Ellen's. I fell for her whole act, and the whole time didn't even know that she never loved me. She just wanted a man to make her feel happy".
With now confiding in his daughter's boss, about his own guilt; he knew the next people he had to inform was both his new family and Lilly. That last part wasn't going to be easy, "Lilly's stubborn to the core like her mother. She read right through me, and saw my lies".
John chuckled softly, "Daughter's are hard, I know I have one. My wife and I split up shortly after she had been born, but at least I got to see her grow up. Lil isn't the type for forgiving; you have to understand that she's been hurt deep down inside".
"It seems as if Lilly sees you more as father, then of me. She's closer to you", Paul said. He felt sad while saying that sentence, realizing that he was losing his own daughter again. The fear of that was now creeping down his spine, "I can't lose her".
Putting his glasses down on his desk, John exhaled softly, "I've known Lilly a long time, but I can't replace you. I see her as a daughter but she's your daughter not mine".
With that said, Paul took a seat, "What am I going to do, I blew my chances by lying right to her face. I can't go home, knowing that my daughter is angry at me".
"Tell Lilly the truth, she needs to know. I can't be the one who tells her", stated John, "I didn't make those choices"!!!
Paul then got up and walked out, he wanted now to tell Lilly but found that he felt still too weak to tell her the real story. However a trip to a cemetery yielded more pain, but it wasn't at the grave of Ellen Rush but at another one that read; Lillian Cooper.
His eyes were full of sadness, for a woman that he loved so much that had given him a beautiful daughter. Naming her after her mother seemed plausible at the time, but was however the birth certificate wasn't right.
It should have said; Lilly instead of Lillian. In time nobody had corrected it, but Paul knew that now he was a better man. In the past he had been abusive to both his wife and Ellen; but then lost himself for a long time. Who was he kidding, anymore; it only was opening up old wounds. Lilly had been right, she deserved to know.
He was the idiot of not thinking that she wouldn't bring up the subject of why he had left. Then lying flat out to a woman whom was also a detective as well; something had to change fast.
Resting a bouquet of flowers, by his wife's grave; Paul drew in a breath before making a promise to her that he would tell Lilly about the real mother that she never had.
Taking a small picture out of his jacket pocket, Paul solemnly looked younger venison of him and Lillian together. He remembered her being pregnant with Lilly, and how she felt excited over becoming a mother.
"I know that you're probably hating me for leaving our daughter, I'm sorry Lillian", he thought, "I was the one who messed up".