when you're dreaming with a broken heart,
waking up is the hardest part.
You roll out of bed, and down on your knees,
and for a moment you can hardly breath.
wondering was she really here? Is she standing in my room?
no she not, cause she gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
I saw it all so clearly. The way the light hit his face, causing his dimples to stand out and his crooked half smile glow. His messy black hair covering the tops of his bright green eyes. I heard it all so clearly. The way his voice sounded as he said my name. His laugh that echoed through my ears. I felt it all so clearly. His hand stroking my face. The passionate, gentle way he kissed me...
I opened my eyes, and my smile faded. My heart burned in my hollow chest. It was just a dream,I thought. I wiped the lonely tear from my cheek and tried to crawl to the edge of my bed. I fell to my knees as soon as my feet hit the wood floor. It was in that moment that i realized that I hadn't breathed since i woke up. I inhaled, and put my face in my hands. I was hunched over in the floor crying. Why did this have to happen?I asked myself as i tried, again, to stand to my cold feet. My long, blond hair was sticking to my tear stained face. I walked to the bathroom to examine myself. I looked pathetic. I walked to the shower and climbed in, not even bothering to take my clothes off. I ran cold water all over myself until it had soaked me. I turned off the water and climbed out of the shower. When I went back into my room, my heart fluttered as something tapped on my window. I ran over, hoping that it was him, using the "throw-the-rock-at-her-window-until-she-looks-out-then-sing-a-love-song-to-her" thing. It was just the tree limb. I crawled back into my bed, still in my soaking wet clothes, and surrendered to the rush of sleep that seemed to come on to me all at once.
When you're dreaming with a broken heart,
the giving up is the hardest part.
She takes you in with her crying eyes,
then all at once you have to say goodbye.
Wondering could you stay my love? Will you wake up by my side?
no she can't, cause shes gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
My next dream was an old memory that i had of him. We were laying on my roof, looking up at the stars, when he told me that he loved me. We ended up falling asleep up there all night. His arms were wrapped around me when i woke up the next morning. Nothing was ever so wonderful as that moment, that feeling that I had that day, waking up to the person that I knew I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I kissed his still lips before i woke him up. We snuck off the roof and he kissed me again before he took off running down the street to his house. For some reason, I began to cry when I saw him turn to leave that day. He came running back. He asked me why I was crying. I told him that I was as confused as he was, and that I had no idea why. He kissed my forehead and told me that he would send me something that would make it better. He kissed me one more time, and in that same moment, my father walked out on the porch. I'm sure it was a shock to him, waking up one morning, and as he was going out to get the paper, find his youngest daughter out in the middle of the front lawn making out. I pulled away and told my love goodbye. He ran down the street, and because of my fathers screaming and throwing things, he did turn and come back when my heart shattered and another tear fell. The next day, he was driving to the guitar shop, where he worked, when a drunk semi truck driver hit him head-on, killing him instantly.
I jolted out of my bed and threw my alarm clock across the room. My body was soaked still, but it wasn't from the shower. It was sweat and tears. Suddenly, I remembered why my alarm clock went off in the first place. The funeral. His funeral. I wore the black dress that i had on when we went dancing for the first time. He said it was his favorite dress.
now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
do i have to fall asleep with roses in my, roses in my hands?
would you get them if i did?
no you won't, cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.
when you're dreaming with a broken heart,
waking up is the hardest part.
The day after the funeral, I was changing the sheets on my bed. They had soured from me, stupidly, sleeping in them with my wet clothes. They smelled horrible. I carried them down the stairs and threw them in the washing machine. I heard my mom call my name from the front door. She handed me a bouquet of roses. "These just came for you." Puzzled, I read the card. Wrong choice! I started crying, right in front of my mom and the cute but way to skinny delivery boy. The flowers were from Him. "I hope these take away the pain. I know that they won't live forever, and neither will I, but my love for you, my dear, will NEVER die."
I know that it sounds like a line from a movie, or something that could never happen, but I can feel him with me through the day. He holds my hand when I walk, he stops my tears when I cry, he whispers in my ears and tells me I'm beautiful. People may call me crazy, but I know he is here. Only when i fall asleep, can I see him, but I can feel him with me always.