People familiar with AO3 might recognize this one, since it's been finished there for a little over a year now. I figured I might as well branch things out a bit and get it on a different site. Will probably post the whole fic gradually, along with some of my original author notes.
Your name is Karkat Vantas. And you have completely, totally, and irredeemably fucked up. You sit at the bridge of a small vessel, hurtling towards a planet you've never seen or heard of. Your friend was piloting the ship, but due to an unexpected incident with an imperial scouterrorizer ship, your consoles have leaked mind honey all over the bridge. Including into your pilot's mouth. And as Sollux Captor has often stated: "YOU MUST NEVER EAT THE MIND HONEY!"
In other words, things have gone completely to shit. Eridan Ampora has messaged you to report the propulsion systems are on fire. Gamzee Makara and Tavros Nitram are in the kitchen, where everything is reportedly "upside down and backwards and all over the mother fucking place." Nepeta Leijon is sitting at navigation staring at the ground growing closer and hissing, which is almost as unhelpful as Equius Zahaak, who has decided to abandon all repair work to protect his moirail. Terezi Pyrope on the other hand is just standing at the front of the forward visual opening cackling like the crazed maniac she is. Feferi Peixes and Kanaya Maryam are at least staying out of the way and quiet as can be expected, but they aren't remotely qualified to help under the circumstances. Vriska Serket has been ranting about mutiny, and pirates, and jumping overboard, but that doesn't mean much since your ship has no escape pods.
Aradia Megido and Sollux Captor are the only people on your ship who are doing anything to help, trying to slow the ship before it crashes into the ground and fries them all. But it won't last forever. You can see Sollux losing his control as the mind honey begins to take effect, and the strain this places on Aradia's psionics is becoming increasingly evident. Once Sollux succumbs to the mind honey completely you don't know what will happen, but you do know Aradia's powers will be the only thing keeping you from fiery painful death.
No offense to Aradia, but you and your friends are fucking doomed.
This becomes all the more evident when your ship lands on top of a native flying transport vehicle, and Terezi vanishes from your view in a sudden burst of smoke and fire. She's screaming now, no laughter to be heard. You find that the stream of curses you've been muttering under your breath for the past half an hour has graduated in volume to a raging roar.
You have no idea how long you've been yelling for, but the look of terror Nepeta is giving you is enough to snap you out of it. Right. You were the one who decided to make this shitty expedition in the first place. You are the Leader. It is you. Time to fucking act like it.
The smoke clears as air whips through the hole in the front of your ship, and you see Terezi is now clinging to a railing, somehow not dead despite being in the front row seat of the impact. The effect psionics are having on your descent is becoming increasingly clear as you see the vehicle you hit rapidly growing further from you.
Scanning the land far below, you see a large body of water growing larger by the second, not far from your position. "ARADIA! SOLLUX! IF WE DON'T WANT TO BE TURNED INTO FUCKING GRUB SAUCE, WE'RE GONNA NEED TO LAND IN THAT AREA!" You gesticulate wildly, glaring at them to make sure they get the message.
Aradia nods grimly, sweat gleaming on her brow as she concentrates. "I'll need to save my power and pull us up at the last second." She replies, her normally cheerful face beginning to darken as her rusty blood rushes to her head. "If we just land in the water we'll be crushed all the same."
"FUCKING DO IT THEN!" You say with a nod. It's a fighting chance, and you'll take it. "SOLLUX, KEEP US STEADY, WE CAN'T LAND THIS PIECE OF SHIT IF WE'RE CAUGHT IN A SPIN!"
Sollux responds by screaming and going limp. Fuck. Your chances just dropped a great deal. You drag yourself up to the pilot's seat, and unhook Sollux from the system. No use having a pilot at the helm if he can't be bothered to stay conscious. You look back at the ground in a panic; you're almost out of time and Aradia can't lift the whole ship on her own.
You try not to lose your shit again as you rip the paneling of the helm apart and grab the manual controls. Amazingly enough, the primitive controls are actually helping, and your frantic hands are slick with sweat as you try to steer the ship towards the body of water in front of you. As unlikely as it seems, you think you are going to survive this after all.
Of course fate decides that this isn't likely to happen. Sollux screams again and releases the full power of the mind honey. The air crackles with electricity. Your hair stands on end. To the left you see Equius grab Nepeta and drag them both low to the floor, as if that would help against such powerful psionics. You brace yourself as Sollux's entire body begins to spark, and decides that vaporization is not a terrible way to die. But the twin blasts of blue and red energy don't fly at you. They don't fly at Equius and Nepeta either.
They hit Aradia, unable to move for fear of losing her hold over the ship. You are left with no choice but to watch as she glances at you in terror. She doesn't have time to scream. She just disappears in a flash. Not so much as a scrap of fabric left of her. Only her frightened gaze remains, burned into your minds eye as you scream in horror.
You have to struggle to tear your eyes back towards the front and away from the place Aradia just died. You face forward, prepared to die, now that Aradia's psionics are no longer there to keep you on track. To your left, you note Nepeta screaming and trying to crawl towards where Aradia just was. Equius holds her back; tears streaming down his face from behind cracked sunglasses. This momentarily surprises you; you had no idea that the sweaty asshole cared about anyone lower than green on the hemospectrum.
It suddenly occurs to you that your ship has not plummeted into the ground, despite the psionics there to hold it up. Sollux is clearly not responsible, still screaming and thrashing behind you as the rest of the mind honey he ingested burns itself off in a steady crackle of sparks. It seems like the ship has finally stopped being a piece of shit.
Then the bottom of the ship hits the water, and nope, the ship is still fucking terrible. It throws you away from the controls as your speed swiftly drops from the water resistance. You fall to the ground, sliding next to Terezi, who has reverted back to insane cackling again. Crazy bitch. You scrabble for a handhold as you try to regain the air that was knocked from your lungs. And you watch in terror as the opposite shore of the body of water rushes at you.
You see a line of trees rush at you, feel something heavy hit you around the waist, and black out.
When you regain consciousness, you hear coughing and groaning as people get their bearings. You figure you can't have been knocked out for more than a few minutes, but without being able to recognize the constellations in the sky you have no idea how to identify the time passed. There is a flickering orange glow to your right, and you realize the ship is no longer moving. It is also on fire, and you scramble to your knees and call for everyone.
To your surprise, Sollux is right next to you, though he remains unconscious. Terezi is sitting right beside him, clutching her head and groaning. A sharp hiss comes from behind you, and you turn to see Nepeta has just pulled a shard of metal from Equius' shoulder.
"Come on Equiuuus, it wasn't that big!" She says playfully. You're relieved to see that she at least looks unscathed. She glances over and notices your expression, smiling and waving the shard, scattering indigo drops of blood. "I am purrfectly fine, Karkitty!" She says with a grin. "Equius grabbed me furst, so I was the most well protected!"
The meaning behind her use of 'first' is not lost on you. "You saved us, Equius?" It feels odd, talking to him so casually, but you don't even have the energy to be uncomfortable around him anymore.
Equius looks over at you and allows himself a slight smirk. "With so many low bloods at the bridge, I knew that the only way you feeble wrigglers would survive is if somebody STRONG like myself intervened to protect you. Consider yourselves lucky."
You're about to unleash the most scathing retort your limited energy can come up with, when Terezi suddenly perks up and finally speaks for the first time since before your encounter with the enemy vessel. "Somebody's coming."
You turn to see Feferi and Eridan clamber onto the bridge, both singed, but still very much alive. A small part of you feels satisfaction when you notice that Eridan's cape has been completely burned off. You choose to remain silent however.
"Oh thank cod you're all alive!" Feferi cries out with a grin as she sees you all assembled. "Kanaya is bringing Vriska out, but I bereef she should be here shortly."
"Holy fuck Feferi, this is not the time for fish puns." You groan as she just sticks her tongue out at you and let's out a glub in defiance, but thankfully becomes quiet.
Eridan on the other hand is acting as haughty and imperious as ever, despite his stutter. "What the fuck was that, Karkat?" He snarls, "What happened up here? This glubbing ship is never going to get off the ground after that crash! The fuck was our pilot doing?"
"Don't even fucking start with me, Ampora." Sollux mutters, as he lays on the ground unmoving. You definitely don't shriek in surprise that he is now conscious. That is totally not a thing that happens.
"Indeed, I do not feel like auspisticizing between the two of you right now." A voice rings out, and you turn to see Kanaya gracefully stride onto the bridge, holding a bleeding Vriska in her arms and somehow not getting cerulean anywhere on her clothes.
"Yeah right, Kanaya. We aaaaaaaall know you always feel like getting conciliatory." Vriska drawls from Kanaya's arms. Closer inspection reveals that both Vriska's left eye and arm are now missing, but with how she's going on, you figure the homicidal bitch will be fine without your worrying.
You turn to face the back again as the last two trolls enter. Gamzee is notably distraught, which you note is unusual for him. He usually doesn't give much of a damn about anything but getting his slime pies. Then you notice Tavros is draped over his shoulder and understand.
"Yo Karbro, Tavbro here got hit right in the back by the motherfucking table, and now he won't wake up." You stumble over in worry, but are relieved to find he's still breathing steadily.
"It should be fucking fine Gamzee, just wait for him to snap out of it." You say with a small smile. It's not much, but it still reassures Gamzee enough to calm him down a bit, and he lays Tavros carefully next to Sollux. Then he straightens up and looks around.
"So, where the motherfuck is Aradisis?" he says in confusion as he tries to focus enough to count heads. You see Nepeta stiffen up, almost twisting as she pulls another piece of shrapnel from Equius' back. Equius noticeably slumps as everyone looks around in confusion.
Sollux sits up at that, his lisp grating on your ears as he cries out in shock. "What? She isn't here? What the fuck happened Karkat?"
You try to put it into words, but find yourself unable to describe the morbid scene from before. Finally, you settle for staring at Sollux sadly, and saying "You must never eat the mind honey."
Sollux reels at this, and the group begins to cry out in alarm and distress, but they fall silent when Terezi jumps to her feet and cries out: "They're here!"
It's only as a noisy flying scouting vehicle shines a spotlight into the hole in the bridge that you realize how sticky you hair feels. There is a stunned gasp from behind you, and you turn to face Feferi, a sinking feeling in your gut. She's staring at your now fully illuminated face in shock. You run a hand over your face and pull it away, staring at it in horror. It's a sticky, candy colored red.
Eridan jumps back. Vriska recoils, but finds herself unable to move, as Kanaya has simply frozen in surprise. Gamzee and Nepeta merely look confused. Equius looks outraged.
But it's Terezi's reaction that really hits you, because she doesn't react much at all. She simply cocks her head and asks everyone: "What's going on? What happened? It's too dark here, I can't see a thing!"
All eyes follow yours to Terezi's face, and you recoil in horror at the sight of her face. Her eyes have been scorched bright red from the crash, her eyes peppered with shards of glass. Teal blood is dripping from her face. She notes the silence as everyone takes in your blood and her blindness, and says in understanding "it's not dark in here at all. Well that's hardly fair."
"Hey, Karkitty, why does your blood look like that?" Nepeta's voice startles you, and you turn to see she's crept up next to you while you were distracted by Terezi. Right. Your freak blood color was just outed to everyone. That still needs dealing with.
Equius seems to agree. He seems as surprised at Nepeta's sneaking about as you are, and he swiftly, but gently grabs her by the collar and hauls her away. He looks over at you, and the expression on his face terrifies you. His glasses have been lost in the confusion. His one unbroken horn has been lowered to face you, and his face displays just cold, unfeeling, emptiness. You know Equius to be rigidly devoted to the hemospectrum, and his face displays all of the apathy one would expect towards something that isn't meant to exist. He could kill you right now quite easily. All he'd have to do is run at you and you'd be dead before you could say strongjump.
A canister lands in the middle of your group before he can enact alternian law, however. Everyone stares at it for a brief second, trying to identify it. The canister explodes in a cloud of gas before anybody has time to react. One by one your group drops to the ground, unconscious. The last one you see fall is Equius, who still tries to stagger towards you.
"This is all your doing, mutant." He spits out as he wobbles towards you. "I will see you pay for this. If not for you, Nepeta would never…" He fails to finish his statement, collapsing to the ground beside you.
The last thing that goes through your head before you finally succumb to the gas is that Equius is completely and totally right.