Hey kids thanks for all the reviews, well here is another song fic because am in love with them lol.
Erm this is the sad ending type but I can make it happy because I'm not one for the sadness lol … so if you give me lots of reviews (HINT HINT LOL) I will write more and make it all happy :)
Skillet – Say goodbye is a really awesome song and they own it … not me :(
Say Goodbye
The silence is deafening.
I just can't believe it has come to this. All I want is it to go back to a few months back, when things weren't so fucked up … you know what I mean?
I don't even know how we ended up here, we were so happy now he is sitting on the edge of the bed so far away from me and I'm pacing the room up and down.
We have just had a huge argument one of many, things were thrown … again.
Words were said … again.
All because we keep arguing over little stupid things, you not thinking a lot of the time, just going out and forgetting to tell me, and well me I just keep thinking of work.
It's so difficult to be out on our own; we thought we could do it. Our parents were against us in the first place, but letting us out on our own because we were adamant that we could do it was a totally different story.
I just thought we would be happy like we were, nothing was too big or small for us, and we could get through it because we had each other.
Yeah I know we are young … very young but that's not the point.
He's only 19 nearly 20 and has put all his life on the line for us. I'm a little older like 26 but still it's so hard to live.
We both have jobs but they are only little. He does landscaping and I'm working in the music store in town. We can afford the rent on the apartment, food, going out once in a while but it's trying to do what we want to do in life which is tearing us apart.
He is becoming a wrestler, it's a little better for him because he has his brother Matt, but I want to be a musician and the money is tearing us apart he needs to get around same as me but it's so difficult.
We started to live together when he became 18 just out of school, but I had my own apartment by that time so he always spent time over mine and his parents were getting on his back, same as mine.
They were telling us to grow up and stop fooling around, do something real with our lives.
Me been 24 and been in love with a 17 year old was a bad look on things. We first saw each other at a club, where he shouldn't have been, in the end we made out and took numbers.
Later on I found out that we had a huge age difference. He said he was 21 but in reality he was still in school. We had an argument thanks to that and stopped talking. But in the end I had to see him it was so difficult not to, it was killing me knowing that someone who I love was out there hurting. I had to be with him no matter what.
We had to keep it from our parents because if they found out about me dating a kid practically they would kill me. Plus his dad if he found out he was gay would have killed him.
In the end everything came out because the school rang his house saying he was missing his lessons and that he was leaving school on a motorbike. Basically he use to come over mine during the day, we would have sex, talk, sleep, eat, chill out watch TV … Just have fun and not worry about the real world. He would leave around 3 go home and if he could sneak away to the apartment again.
When his dad found out, Jeff said I was just a friend and nothing was going on. But through everything it was obvious and he and his dad had a huge falling out.
They are okay now; he still disapproves of our relationship but looked at losing his son as a worse option. Same as my parents.
I just want him happy, but I also want to live my dream and for him to live his too.
I never thought it would come to this I never thought we would argue I just thought we would be together for the rest of our lives.
"Chris, what the fuck are we going to do? We can't keep living like this"
"What are you trying to say Jeff?"
"Nothing! … I just need something I need to know you are here no matter what"
"You should already know that for god's sake Jeff, we have been at it like this for over a month now, do you honestly think I would have stuck around if I don't want it to work.
"I just need you Chris, I don't care about work, and I don't care what my dad thinks or what any other fucker says. I don't care if we don't have money; it means nothing all I need is you"
"Jeff! Money is a big issue; we need it to live and get around and make something of ourselves."
"WE CAN DO IT WITHOUT MONEY!"
"JEFF GROW UP, IT DOESN'T ALWAYS WORK IN A FARIEY TALE WAY WHERE EVERYTHING IS OKAY IN THE END, WE NEED TO LOOK AT REALITY!!"
"Fuck you Chris"
You get off the bed and walk down the stairs; you pull on your shoes and walk into the kitchen. You look around for your dog Dakota and walked towards to the door.
"Jeff don't leave please"
His back was still towards me.
"Am going out"
"Where to?"
"Out, to my dads i don't know mabey to shannon's just somewhere, i can't be here anymore"
"Jeff i'm begging please don't go"
He finally turned round and looked me in the eye.
"I don't want to go, but your giving me no choice i can't stay here with arguments, with you telling me i need to grow up when i'm only 19"
"Please Jeff ..."
"Bye"
Just like that my world has come crashing down ... I can't do anything bar fall to the floor and cry. He is my everything, i fell in love with the kidd years ago and i can't give im up now. I need him.
I have been sitting in the same spot now since he left 4 hours ago, I need him, i don't know where the hell he is. I just want him back. What the fuck am i going to do without him.
I hear the door go and he looks down at me with tears in his eyes.
"Chris ... I couldn't do it" God he sounds broken
"What do you mean?"
"I can't be without you. I can't say goodbye, I can't leave."
"I love you"
"I love you too"
I get up and walk over to him his body feels so good on mine, holding him and just knowing that he is safe and with me.
"It's going to suck you know that Jeffy?"
"Yeah i know."
"Like we will argue again and it will suck but i'm always here for you ... always, i need you and i love you"
"I know Chris"
"Come on lets go back upstairs"
We both get ready just to sleep and i walk into the bathroom i hear him moving around while i am washing my face. You can tell he has been in here before me because it's like living with a woman, moisturisers, razors, toner, make-up, aftershave, sprays, hair-dye ... Everything ... but thats what i love about him, his messyness his way of wanting to look perfect but already looking it. When i get into the bedroom i look and see he's already asleep ontop of the sheets. Trying not to wake him i role him over taking the sheet from under him and then putting them over him. I climb in and try to sleep the day away.
I feel his body move and shift over to me. His colouful hair sprayed across my chest.
"Night Chris"
"Night babe, see you in the morning"
"..."
"Hey Chris?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you think things are going to work out with us?"
"If we want them to things will."
"Good"
Things are changing
It seems strange and
I need to figure this out
You've got your life
I got mine
But you're all I cared about
Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
Where has all the time gone now
I'm left alone somehow
Growing up and getting older
I don't want to believe it's over
Don't say goodbye
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I
And although we knew
This time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye
Do you remember
In December
How we swore we'd never change
Even though you're leaving
That our feelings
Would always stay the same
I wish we could be laughing
Instead I'm standing here asking
Do we have to end this now
Can we make it last somehow
We both know what we've gotta say, not today
Cause I don't wanna leave this way
And if it's over
It hurts but I'm giving you my word
I hope that you're always
Happy like we were
Happy like we were
Yesterday we were laughing (if you're gonna say goodbye)
Today I'm left here asking (if you're gonna say goodbye)
And although we knew this time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye
WELL THAT BE IT LOL ... IF ME GET LOTS AND LOTS OF REVIEWS ME WILL CONTINUE BECAUSE I REALLY LIKE THE CHARACTERS. It may not be as long as some stories but i will try lol READ AND REVIEW!! X much luv X