Time Is Running Out
Author: Isleia
Pairing: Seifer x Squall
Summary: Songfic. Seifer's obsessive fixation with Squall and their time together has run out. "Time Is Running Out" by Muse.
AN: This originally started as one thing and branched out into something else all together. You may or may not notice it in the beginning, but hopefully that won't affect how you see the story as a whole.
I did this on a whim and it seems to be the only way or time I actually write anything nowadays. But, who cares! I'm boring and my stories are better then I tend to give myself credit for. On with the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from FFVIII. I do own the story. It's mine! XP
X-tra notes: Lyrics. Yeah, you could've figured that out…
Seifer's POV
Of all people in Garden, it had to be you. You're the one person that I could never, ever, see myself with. And yet, at one point long before the war, I had you.
Hyne, how did I get myself into this? How did this one single person wedge themselves into my life and turn me into some lovesick puppy? Well, more like some lovesick psychopath. I became a stalker.
I think I'm drowning
Asphyxiated
I had been going about my business when I saw you wandering around, as per usual. But, I had noticed someone staring a little too long at you. He was a well known sex mongrel and enjoyed forcing it out of people for his own sick pleasure. I never did like him, but now, it was personal.
I wanna break this spell
That you've created
I later confronted him and he had no qualms about his obvious lust for you. Wrong answer, pal. He stayed in the infirmary for a week, never telling who beat the shit out of him. You were mine and mine alone.
You're something beautiful
A contradiction
There was no doubt that plenty of people looked at you. Whether it was from the way you held yourself or your beautiful face, has yet to be figured out. You had found out about the beating. In class, your gaze fixates on me, and you smile.
I wanna play the game
I want the friction
Every night we spent together, I always made you tell me one thing; you're mine. That was all I ever really needed to hear. Even when we screwed each other senseless, that was all I ever really wanted to hear. Sometimes it would take minutes or hours for me to get you to say it. It mattered not to me, as long as I heard it once, that's all I needed.
You will be the death of me
You will be the death of me
You're going to be the end of me and I know it. However, I just couldn't end it between us, no matter what my gut or mind told me.
Bury it
You tried ending it once. At first, I was ready and willing to do what you asked and I did for awhile. But not having you was worse then I could've imagined. I knew I wouldn't last very long, so I went to your room only a few days after we split and told you as much.
I won't let you bury it
You told me to move on, but I couldn't.
I won't let you smother it
You told me to let it go, but I couldn't.
I won't let you murder it
You told me to forget and I told you never. That I would never forget and I wouldn't let you either. I slept with you that night and nearly every night after. I didn't want us to end, but I knew one day it just might end. No, I knew that it would end and I had no way of stopping it.
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
You knew I wouldn't give you up willingly. We both knew that it would be too difficult for me to even try again. I told you I would rather die then give you up. You didn't say anything; you just had this sad little smile on your face as if to say you understood. I can't help but wonder, did you? Did you really understand?
I wanted freedom
Bound and restricted
Years went by and I made the mistake of hurting you, scarring you. But, we both know that I did it on purpose. I wanted you to be free of me. I was -am- dangerous. I wanted you to have a chance to be free from me and my possessive nature of keeping you to myself. I nearly killed someone in Balamb because he stared at you for longer then was necessary. That was it! And I went crazy! I knew I had to get you away from me before I hurt someone else, someone that means something to you.
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted
You left on your mission to Timber and I was able to remain as calm as I could with you being so far away. It didn't last as long as I'd hoped. I'd heard about the details of your mission and I freaked. There was no way in hell I was going to let them keep you away for so long, especially with Rinoa around the whole time! I knew what kind of girl she was and wasn't about to let her use her charms on you just so she could have her "ideal" boyfriend.
Now that you know I'm trapped
Sense of elation
I broke out of B-Garden and held up the President of Galbadia just to find you. Despite the fact that I was surrounded and in deep shit, I was beyond elated to see you standing there, no more then few meters away from me.
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation
I saw the look in your eyes, they told me that I needed to stop, to run away, but I stayed put. I didn't want to leave you alone, ever. I knew that was your one weakness. I vowed to never leave you alone.
You will squeeze the life out of me
When I left with the Sorceress, I did as your eyes told me, to run. So I ran, to someday be with you again. She knew I would do anything to be near you and she used that against me, controlled me to get closer to completing her goal. In exchange for my serving her, she promised to have you with me, forever. My life was in her hands.
Bury it
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
I should've been smarter and known that all that she told me was a lie. However, I wanted to believe so badly that I would be able to keep you. I could feel that the longer I stayed with her, the further away you were getting from me. I was happy and sad at the same time. I was happy that you were finally able to get away from me and sad that you were leaving me behind.
Our time is running out
Our time is running out
You can't push it underground
You can't stop it screaming out
How did it come to this?
The war ended and you were victorious. I was so happy that you made it out alive and free from me. But, I wanted so badly to be with you one last time. Just one more time, until it all would finally end.
You will suck the life out of me
So here I finally stand in the main entrance to Balamb Garden, well, more like kneel. My gunblade has been taken from me and my hands are on my head. My trench is torn to near shreds and I most likely look like crap, but I don't care. All I want is you.
You and all of your new friends approach me as I wait on my knees. I can see the mixed emotions of everyone around you, but I can care less. All I want to see is your body, your face, your eyes, just you.
They all stand quietly, waiting for you to make the first move. I wonder what you'll say. You lean close to me and say what I feared, but knew, you'd say.
"Move on, let go and forget."
Bury it
I look you straight in the eyes. You know what I'll say, but I say it anyway.
"Never, never and never."
I won't let you bury it
I won't let you smother it
I won't let you murder it
That sad smile is back. The one that knew all along that this wouldn't last.
"Seifer, our time has run out."
Our time is running out
"Yeah, I know."
Our time is running out
You sigh. Yes, this has lasted longer then it should have, hasn't it?
"You can't keep pushing this, Seifer."
You can't push it underground
"You can't stop me, you never could." I smirk up at you from my position on the ground.
You can't stop it screaming out
Suddenly, everything came crashing down on my mind all at once. My mind has finally realized what my heart knew all along. It was over. What we had is over.
How did it come to this?
"How did it come to this?" I nearly sob when I say this. I never wanted it to come to this, ever. I look up at you again only to see that sad smile. I feel so lost.
"Squall, I love you. You know that right?"
That sadness is still there and you nod. You kneel down in front of me and place your hands on both sides of my face. You're not wearing your gloves, so I can feel the warmth that most don't believe you have.
"Yes, Seifer, I know."
You gently kiss my lips and I feel like my world is ending. It wasn't a kiss to make me feel better, but one to say goodbye. I let my body crumble in place and you hold onto my shoulders and head. I can hear you talking to the others, but my body doesn't react to anything.
"Is he gonna be awright? It looks like he's havn' imself a breakdown." That's Irvine, I can tell by the thick accent. I still can't tell if it's fake or real. Freakin' cowboy.
"I wonder... It will be difficult to tell until we can do a thorough test on his mental state, but if we do this right, he should be stable in due time." Quistis, leave it to you to explain it in such a professional manner. Bossy Quisty.
"So, in other words, Seifer is eventually going to get better. But, right now, he's a nutcase?" Figures that the hotdog lover would put it into terms any three-year-old could understand. Thanks, crybaby Zell, now the world knows I'm nuts.
I can feel someone hovering closer then the others. "Couldn't we just, I dunno, give him drugs or something to snap him out of it?" Selphie, it's a good thing she isn't a fulltime messenger girl, she would suck at it.
"No, Selphie, we can't. We just need to put him into a stable environment where he will feel safe and secure. During that time is when we can slowly return him to a stable psychological state of mind. Seifer will be back to his usual self in no time." Matron, she was always a lady I could count on to give it to me straight and not make it sound like there is actually something wrong. She is like a mother to us all.
I'm surprised that I don't hear Rinoa's voice anywhere. I guess she either didn't want to see me or wasn't there at all. I'm hoping for the latter.
I hear them all continue talking around me, but I just want to make sure that Squall doesn't leave me. I had promised him that I wouldn't leave him alone, so if he leaves, I can't keep my promise. I finally lift my head and look Squall in the eyes.
"Don't leave me."
I'm sure he heard the desperate tone in my voice since he looked at me like I'd grown a second head. Yeah, I know, Seifer Almasy doesn't beg, but I'm not about to lose him, not again. I see a smile on his face, but it isn't the sad one. For the first time in a long time, I see the smile that drew me to him to begin with.
"I won't. Not this time."
I relax as the medical staff takes me away to the infirmary. I know he won't leave because he knows I won't. I'll always go after him, no matter what.
End Seifer's POV
"I see now why any sorceress would've been keen in going after Seifer. His psyche is in ruins. I can't help but wonder how he was able to last so long in such a state."After voicing her thoughts, Quistis looked to Matron for answers.
"Well, I have to say that emotional attachment is what kept him going. His love for Squall is what kept him going, even though after some time it did become a dangerous attachment, it still helped to keep him held together." Matron explained.
Xu, having heard all explanations thus far, voiced her thoughts. "So, it was his mental state that made the sorceress choose him and not someone else, huh?"
"It would seem that way, yes." Looking toward Squall, Matron asked. "I'm guessing you had a fair idea of his mental state for sometime, didn't you Squall?"
Squall hadn't moved from his position on the ground since they took Seifer inside of Garden. He continued to stare toward Garden. "Yes, I knew. In fact, I saw it happen. It was slow, but I saw it take over. He was no longer the Seifer I knew." Finally standing, Squall began walking toward Garden to help Seifer in his long road to recovery.
The rest of the Garden staff and faculty slowly started making their way back inside. Quistis, Xu, Zell, Irvine and Selphie had to head back to teaching their classes while Matron would talk over the situation with Cid.
Slinging his arm over Selphie's shoulder, Irvine stated firmly. "I told you them GFs would mess you up, some worse then others."
AN: Well, there you have it! Seifer went crazy and it's all the GFs fault! How dare they! Anywho, I wanted to do a story that explained, in a way, why Seifer did what he did. I have many other theories, but this one actually made the most sense to me. Yeah, I'm weird like that. Review if you feel like it, if not, that's fine too. Just knowing that some people out there will read this makes me happy, reviews or no. P.S. I love Muse. Go listen to them if you never have, they are fantastic!