ok, fell upon the music video for "I knew you were trouble" by Taylor Swift

the MUSIC VIDEO! that's important!

cause it was the little monologue at the beginning that inspired me

so remember, the MUSIC VIDEO! not the song!

ok, that's all

except, Nova fangirls/boys might want to leave XD

-grungekitty

You know that feeling when you're looking back and wished that you weren't happy? That feeling when you don't want the memory to be a happy one, when you wish that you were as miserable as you should of been.

Then maybe I would of seen past all the lies I was telling myself.

I feel like an idiot! I should of known! I did know! I just ignored it! I knew I wasn't enough! I knew she wouldn't slow down.

I guess I just told myself I could keep up. Another lie I let myself believe.

Why did I let myself fall head over heels? I was an idiot! The dumb monkey!

I followed her like a lost puppy! I told myself it was love, and it was love! ...at least from my end...

It took forever for her to even notice how hopelessly under I was. I wish she never did! Then maybe I would of moved on!

but no!

I knew she was fire! And I knew I was flammable!

But fire's beautiful sometimes you know? So freaking tempting! You just get burned in the end though!

When I saw her, and my heart grew wings and flew straight out of my chest! The next couple weeks only got worse. I fell in love. No! Worse than Love!

Devotion!

God! She was beautiful! My everything! I just wanted her attention! Her smile was heaven sent! Her eyes were intoxicating! Her voice was captivating!

But that's what a siren's like right?

She had me by the heart, the hardest leash to break! Tugging and twisting as she pleased!

I wish I hadn't been so pathetic! I wish I hadn't been so happy when she decided to pick me up! I wish I hadn't of let her do it!

I wish I could say that I was unhappy when I was with her, but I wasn't. I was content! It was perfect in my eyes! She was perfect in my eyes! But I wasn't in her's.

It's still a blur, one big happy blur!

But I remember the end with too much detail for my taste

I ran to where Nova asked me to meet her. I brought flowers, pink daises and yellow roses, her favorite.

She looked as radiant as ever, sitting at a little table on the outside area of the cafe, also her favorite. She had her arms were neatly folded on the table's white tablecloth, a small teacup in front of her. Her head was turned away, staring in the distance. She was pouting, slightly put off by something unknown. She didn't see me approaching.

I remember that it looked like a scene from a movie. I wish I had know that it was the heart break scene I recognised.

"Hey precious" I smiled

She turned her head to me and waited for me to sit. I offered the flowers, but she pushed them back towards me.

"Don't bother ordering anything, we won't be here long" She said, coldly serious

"ok" I said

That's what I said! "ok"! Such a metaphor! God! I was an idiot, I should of known right there! ...I should of known in a lot of places.

"SPRX...I've been thinking" she said

I didn't respond. She seemed to of sighed.

"It's probably best if we end this" she said with her eyes shut.

Kisses me with her eyes open, talks to me with her eyes shut. What a combo! I was such and Idiot!

"end what?" I choked

This is where the cracks began in my perfect world, but it hadn't crumbled yet. The one time I'm glad I didn't see it! At least it's on her conscience that she had to actually take the hammer to it and end it herself!

"us" she said, he eyes still shut

"I...What...Why?" I said, not even noticing my own tears

"Well, it's just not doing it for me anymore, it's dead." She said

Meaning I wasn't fun anymore!

"but...I-I-I...I-I..." I stuttered

She stood up perfectly composed.

"SPRX. Let's not cause a scene ok?" She said "I think it's gonna be better if you just let it go, ok?"

I just nodded. I didn't even watch her leave.

After a bit of staring at the white tablecloth, I dropped the flowers and left. I just left them there.

After that it's just a sad blur, I'm not even sure where I went after that!

Later I figured her whole game out! She did it there so she had the "cause a scene" excuse to have me let her go without a word. If I could go back, I'd cause the biggest scene I could, just so she'd have to deal with it! Instead of walking away and leaving the mess she just made.

I should be more angry. I broke bones for her! Risked my life!

But in the end, I was the idiot that fell for it.

I kind of lost myself you know? Impressing Nova became part of who I was, then who I was entirely.

Now that she's gone, I have to find who I was before her.

I can't be Nova's boyfriend anymore, I have to be SPRX now. And I have to figure out who that is again.

I can't hate her really. I'm really mad at myself for losing myself. It was my fault. I guess I'm kind of glad that she let me go. After being on strings for so long, it's about time I learned how to walk on my own again.

So I guess that that's why I'm leaving. No doubt, they'll think it's because I'm too heart broken to face her, and maybe I am, but it doesn't matter. I've got to go figure myself out again, away from her, or I'm gonna let my life became about her again.

"I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are."

that ending line right there was from the end of the video

anyways

so yay, that's done

and in case this wasn't obvious, it was SPRX's POV

...

...I think that this is the my first one-shot in first person

I have one other that I haven't posted yet...not sure why though o_O

anyways...yay!

ok, bye now ^v^

-grungekitty