So there I was…
It was me and Pansage against the ultimate threat to human existence: my own self. I had a righteous machine gun that shot plasma rounds so strong and so volatile, some say they could melt through and disrupt the space-time continuum. Little did anyone know, this was but one dangerous weapon from my expansive arsenal of revolutionary power. Each pistol in belt had been locked and loaded, filled with the desire to blast out and defeat the enemies that may stand in the way between me and sweet, delicious victory.
I would never be forgotten for anything. I would always be remembered for the awesome power held inside by some hotcakes that make all the ladies die as they are so hotcakey mu-wah. Don't even think for a second that I was about to admit defeat when victory was so close within my grasp. The minions of those who wanted to see me wiped from the face of this planet were all sadly sorely mistaken. I had too much strength. Good luck to all those foolish folk like Anderson who think it's funny to wear Sonic shirts under their football jerseys. For I, Cilan Robotnik, am strong enough to wipe all humankind from existence. This planet does not deserve such intolerance toward who I really am.
Cilan is my name, right? No…
You want to throw some salami on an Eelektrik's face, you dumb frogs? Be my guest. You've but scratched the surface of my deadly atrocity. Fear me and my biceps for each is carrying out a death sentence to fools who may expel my glorious hotcakey mu-wah. You think it's funny to act so ignorant of what shall become your undoing? You are so wrong at this point; don't even try to compare yourself to true greatness. True power. True and utter desolate annihilation of the world and its current properties and policies.
Completely free from the woes undermining my existence, I transcribe my emotions through the actions I disembogue. Such actions entail my confused hatred toward meaty bison wraps. I don't know where to turn but my own shattered persona of a world unbecoming of itself. One world that does not cater toward my expectations of a coherent domain filled with the adequacy of enjoying the praise it gets. I'm Cilan and I have three Pokemon with the hotcakiest of attitudes. If you foul them with your pathetic ideals of a much greater world, then I will have no choice but to assert my power. I will have my revenge on the world whose boundaries are unappealing toward a much grander design. I will destroy everything this planet has to offer and take away. I will destroy all systems that have been established as a result of disregarding the true path toward a morally just hotcakey mu-wah.
I will be the Cilan who will change everything with my sword and shield in each hand. If I had more hands, I would hold more. But don't I have more capacity for holding? I have freaks like you who were smart enough not to defy my lifestyle and shun me from the conquest for a new world order. That makes sense, doesn't it? That you follow me? Forever? Yes. I think so. So choose you weapon and follow me. We'll take this planet back and construct a new social background that suits my desires. You'll be rewarded by my Pansage. But you will never escape my gaze of hotcakey mu-wah.
-Cilan Robotnik