A/N: This story began in 2009, before the Wizards movie with the contest. I hope you enjoy it!

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Chapter One

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When Alex saw Justin walk through the door, her heart sank. It was really time, wasn't it?

It made her sick to see him with such confidence. She knew he was going to win. Max knew he was going to win. Neither of them would admit it to save their soul, but everybody knew that Justin was going to win and keep his powers.

He brushed the snow off his coat and hugged his parents. He spotted Alex on the couch and smiled smugly. "Hey, little sister, ready to lose your powers?" he taunted.

"Oh, please," she scoffed, feigning assertion; "you couldn't win even if you cheated. Which is probably how you got into Stanford anyway."

He scowled, but didn't retort. He almost felt bad about knowing he would take Alex's and Max's powers. Frustrated, and actually a little upset, Alex fled the house, mumbling something or other about meeting somebody.

She was now nineteen, making Justin twenty and Max seventeen. Seeing his little sister again, after not seeing her for almost a year—he didn't come home at all after last Christmas, spent summer in Europe for a 'study abroad' program on a scholarship, then went right back to school—reminded him of exactly why he hadn't been home in such a long time. The only reason he was even here at all was because of the competition, and he intended to leave again as soon as he could.

I thought if I stayed away long enough, these feelings would go away, he thought irritably. It was easier to live normally when he was away from Alex. He'd been in love with her for as long as he could remember.

He was glad that she left to go hang with whoever. He didn't want to have to look at her. She'd changed so much in the time he'd been gone. He didn't want to have to look at the beautiful woman she had grown into, with her chocolate curls, her stunning figure, her pouty come-hither lips, her enticing dark brown eyes…

Stop now, he thought angrily. All the old feelings he had struggled to smother were resurfacing like a violent storm. He occupied himself with telling the remaining Russo family members of college life and what he'd been up to while he was away.

"You got a girlfriend?" Max asked at one point, winking.

The question sickened him, particularly because he had to answer yes. "Her name is Makenzie Taylor," he answered, trying to keep the vemon out of his voice. He pulled his wallet out and removed from it a picture that he showed his family, a picture of him standing next to a tall woman with white-blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She really was pretty.

"Whoa, how did you get such a catch, of all people?"

He punched Max in the arm. Yeah, Kenzie was attractive, so sweet, smart, and indeed, quite a catch. But, of course, the only person in the world worth chasing after was indefinitely and absolutely forbidden to him.

"She's so pretty," Theresa cooed. "You should bring her home sometime."

That, he could never do. "So, when's the competition start?" he asked, changing the subject and taking back the picture.

"Tomorrow morning," Jerry replied. "You three all know the rules and the way it's going to work. So I would please ask you guys go to bed early and rest up for it."

Max complained, but Justin said nothing and left to go take his things to his old bedroom. He stayed in there until Max came pounding on his door telling him dinner was ready. Reluctantly, and not wanting to see Alex in the slightest, he made his way down.

But she wasn't there.

"Where's Alex?" he asked, sitting down at the table.

"Off with her boyfriend somewhere," his father grumbled. "I wish she'd at least call and tell us when she'd be home."

"She's nineteen, Jerry," Theresa chided. "She's an adult; she can do what she wants."

"Not while she's still living under my roof." But he said nothing else about it.

Justin was torn inside. Yeah, okay, how could he expect to come home and Alex be single? Did he honestly hope that she would be forever unable to date anyone because of an intense, painful love for her brother?

What kind of hypocrite was he, exactly? Didn't he just show the entire family his girlfriend of almost eight months? Even if Alex did feel the way he did—which he knew was impossible—why would he be allowed to date someone, while she was painfully waiting for a love that would never happen? Was he the only one in this situation allowed to distract himself, channel his depression into a normal outlet? The only one who could hug, kiss, touch, feel, love?

He couldn't touch Alex in any of the ways that he touched Kenzie, though he wanted nothing more. He loved Kenzie, but he would never and could never be so truly in love with her, the way he was with Alex. He could sleep with Kenzie, could marry Kenzie. Not Alex. Never Alex.

Why his sister?

All that he'd ever wanted was to have Alex fall asleep in his arms, to brush her beautiful hair out of her face, to hold her tight as she cried on his shoulder when she was sad… was that so much to ask for? He could do all that if he wanted, if they had that good of a relationship. Brothers and sisters who were actually nice to each other could do that stuff. Because it didn't mean anything. But Justin wanted to touch her as a lover… not a brother.

He shoved the sick, incestuous thoughts into the back of his head. What kind of crazy mental disorder did he have? Even though he knew of several spells that could help him fall out of love with her, because loving her tortured him more than anything—he didn't use them. He wanted to love her forever. How very masochistic.

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Alex didn't get home until four in the morning. Theresa had gone to bed at eleven, not bothering to wait up for her daughter. At one, Justin practically forced Jerry, who was falling asleep, to go to bed. He reassured him that he would stay up and wait. And he did. He sat on the couch and watched TV, trying not to think, while waiting for Alex to get home.

When she did, she only half-tried to be quiet. She turned on the light and walked into the kitchen and stuck her head in the fridge.

Justin wanted to sneak up behind her and brush his fingers against her waist, and snake his arms around her, but he didn't. Instead, he stood up, faced her, and didn't move. She closed the fridge with a Coke in her hand and turned around, gasping in terror when she saw Justin. She dropped the can and it nearly hit the floor before Justin silently ordered it back into her hand.

"Oh, my god," said Alex, putting her free hand to her heavily breathing chest. "You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing up?"

"I could ask you the same question," he told her, walking towards her, carefully. "I told Dad I'd stay up and wait for you so he could get some sleep."

"For the love of— I'm nineteen years old!"

"I know," he murmured. "I'm going to tell Dad you came home ten minutes after he went to bed at about one."

She blinked, confused, then said, "Um, wow. Thanks, Justin."

"But first I wanna know what you were doing."

She rolled her eyes. Of course. Justin always wanted something in exchange for anything that would benefit her. She walked over to the couch and plopped on it beside him. She opened the Coke and began to drink it, ignoring the fire that exploded in her skin where her arm touched his.

"I was out with some friends," she said after her sip. "That's all."

"Dad said you were with your boyfriend," he sneered, venom involuntarily pouring into his words. "What the hell do you do with a boy till four in the morning, Alex?"

"What do you think, you idiot?" she hissed. "You're probably still a virgin, though. And single and lonely."

"Nuh-uh, I have a girlfriend, and we've—" He froze. Then, quietly, he asked, "You're… you're not a virgin anymore?"

She shook her head, and he felt so many weird emotions flaring up inside him. "I lost my virginity like, four years ago. When I was fifteen. That Riley guy."

Oh. He wanted to suddenly tear apart Riley for defiling his sweet little sister. How dare someone else take her virginity, and at fifteen?

That should've belonged to me!

Justin was so upset that he didn't even bother to hate himself more for thinking that. He got up and stormed away from her and up into his old room, locking the door and falling onto his bed. He fell asleep instantly, tears on his cheeks.

Alex was angry, but also sad. What did Justin care? She looked at her Coke can, the letters of which were becoming fuzzy and blurred. Justin didn't care what happened to her. He was just her stuck-up older brother. He had better things to do than worry about his stupid little sister. She blinked and tears spilled over onto her lap and soda can.

She was a good actress. And being attracted to other guys helped. No, she would never love any of them. Not a single one. But she could pretend. She'd been with her current boyfriend, Christian, for a few months now. She kissed him and slept with him to fill the void. She pretended he was Justin.

She bit her lip fiercely, trying hard to stop crying. She put her soda on the coffee table and bit on her hand, her whole body trembling with violent tears. Damn it, Justin. Why couldn't he have stayed away? It was easier to pretend he wasn't real when he wasn't here. It was easier to live. It was so unfair. She could have any guy she wanted, except the only one she desired. Hard to get, huh? Would, if she had him, become repulsed by him? Did she only love him because she could never have him?

No, that wasn't true. She'd loved him all her life; he'd been her first crush, her first love.

It was too much to hold in. Once an involuntary whimper escaped her throat, she couldn't stop. She had to put her head into a pillow to muffle her cries, screams, and moans of pain as she sobbed heavily. She felt her heart shatter and her stomach explode and the pain wash throughout every fiber of her body, until she was finally numb. Letting this numbness spread, she took a deep, shaky breath, and fell asleep.