Rest Stop

by NowComesTheNight

Inspired by a song of the same title by Matchbox 20. I've been doing a lot of these 'inspired by *blank* song' one shots lately... Oh well, at least I'm writing something. Be prepared, this isn't an amazing piece of writing. Plenty of grammar problems and I probably killed the comma key again.

Also, I can't seem to write anything that's not depressing for this fandom. Sorry guys... I'll try to do something fluffy or sappy soon. This is rated T mostly for Kanda's mouth. Nothing else truly graphic happens or is eluded to in this one. Just a little dramatic fic about a relationship that's dead.

Disclaimer: I do not own D. Grayman or 'Rest Stop', they belong to their respective companies/ artists. All I do is write sad little fanfics...

XxxX

It was a particularly dark and starless night as Allen sped down the highway. Music drifted softly through the car, but he paid it no mind. Instead, he was occupied by thoughts of his companion in the passenger seat. The dark haired young man was asleep, and for that Allen was grateful. He didn't think he could handle another argument with Kanda. It seemed to be all the couple did lately.

This was supposed to have been a weekend away in the mountains. Allen had planned it to try and ease a bit of the tension their relationship had developed. A quite weekend away. Allen scoffed. What it was was a nightmare. They had spent so much time screaming at each other, over the most ridiculous things, that they never got the chance to wind down or enjoy themselves. He should have known better.

Allen glanced at the passenger seat again. He knew his boyfriend had a bad temper. He, also, knew that his anger had nothing to do with him, and Kanda always reigned it in and walked away before the arguments turned to blows. At the beginning, Allen had wanted to try and help his boyfriend over whatever his problems were, but Kanda had never, and probably would never, confide in him. Now, with all the fights and frustration, he had no idea what was keeping him here.

Giving Kanda one more look, Allen noticed how relaxed he seemed. His brow, typically furrowed in anger, was smooth and unlined. His arms were uncrossed from his chest and lay limp at his sides. The long, dark hair was still pulled back, but the ponytail was loose and set at the nape of his neck for comfort, and, for once, Kanda wasn't frowning. Allen noticed all of this with an odd sort of detachment, and, for once, he didn't care that he never looked like this when awake. He didn't care that his boyfriend never smiled and he didn't care that Kanda never seemed happy.

Realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Allen quickly jerked the steering wheel and pulled the car off the road before slamming on the brakes.

Kanda was ripped from his sleep as his body propelled forward towards the dashboard. Thankfully, his seat belt locked and his hands shot out to steady himself before his face could kiss the plastic. He looked around for a reason the car stopped so suddenly. When he found nothing, he turned bitter, accusing eyes at the driver.

"What the fuck, Moyashi!"

But Allen didn't turn to look back at him. The man simply kept his hands on the wheel and eyes forward.

"Get your shit and get out."

Kanda just blinked, stupefied by Allen's cold tone. "What did you say?"

"You heard me." Allen said. Kanda noticed through the darkness as his boyfriends grip on the wheel tightened to the point the knuckles turned nearly as white as his hair. "I can't do this anymore, Kanda. We're done. We've been done for awhile now. Neither of us are happy and I can't keep pretending I can save you. I have to do this, and I have to do this now, before I talk myself out of it." By now the young man had closed his eyes and was shaking. "Now leave."

Fear hollowed out his chest where it started to boil and fester. Kanda felt his rage begin to tip as he balled his hands into fists. He wanted to shout, throw something, or put his fist through the window, anything to relieve the pressure building inside him. He didn't want to lose his lover. How dare the Moyashi call it quits!

A hundred awful, callous, and cruel words pushed forward in his mind and rested on the tip of his tongue. He could have said them, and he would have said them, had he not suddenly noticed that Allen was bracing himself for the blow. He knew the dark haired man would have some bitting and poisonous words to throw at him and, having no energy left to fight back, was simply waiting for them, anticipating the pain of it. Kanda may have withheld any physical blows, but words often cut deeper.

This epiphany left Kanda reeling and any words he had deserted him. He hated himself more then ever in that moment. He always did after a fight that left his lover in pain. Though he'd never said it aloud, he truly loved Allen, and every time they fought he would tell himself he'd get better. That next time, he would swallow the words and move on. But he never did, and seeing Allen so resigned to the inevitable anguish made him realize that holding on would only make it worse.

With a deep breath to bite back the anger and remorse, Kanda reached into the backseat and grabbed his overnight bag. He stepped out of the car and into the cool night air. When he turned back, he could see his boyfriend... no, ex-boyfriend, staring at him in open shock.

"The rest stop is a little less then three miles from here. Call Lavi for a ride." Allen said, quickly regaining his composer, before reaching over the passenger seat and yanking the door closed.

Kanda watched the tail lights fade into the night, praying they would stop. Hoping that his Moyashi would come back. But, he didn't. Once the last of the light left his view he took the bag in his hand and threw it against the ground with all the strength he could muster. He threw back his head shouted out into the open sky. Kanda was glad to see there were no stars tonight. He didn't think he could handle seeing them sparkling so merrily right now.

Allen watched through the rear view mirror as Kanda vanished. Once he could no longer see him, whatever it was that gave him the courage to end it finally broke. His vision blurred as hot tears streamed down his cheeks. This was what he wanted. Their relationship was over, and they both knew it... But why did he feel so torn? Why did it hurt so much? Was it because he really did love Kanda? Maybe, he was just afraid of being alone.

Or, maybe, it was because letting Allen go without a fight was both the kindest and cruelest thing Kanda had ever done.

End.

XxxX

I am so mean...

And this wasn't very good... Oh well, I tried.