Yo, Shokun!

Mega thanks to everyone who reviewed my first fic. You guys gave me the confidence to post this one. The most frequent complaint was "too short," so this one is quite a bit longer. Here's the first installment. Hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I have no rights to Naruto. Apologies to the real owners for stealing their characters and making them do strange things.

…...

Two Requests:

Chapter 1: Crouching Tiger, Clucking Hen

"You're late."

The absurd excuse died on Kakashi's tongue. Iruka was standing just inside Konoha's gates, arms crossed, glaring. This man had quite the temper, Kakashi recalled belatedly. Best not to provoke him any farther. It wasn't as if Iruka could do anything to him, but they were going to be stuck together for awhile, and Kakashi would prefer to pass that time as peacefully as possible.

"Sorry to make you wait, Iruka-sensei," he apologized straightforwardly, "Shall we get going?"

The storm diffused before it had even begun. Iruka sighed resignedly, and his hands dropped to his sides. "I suppose there's no help for it. This is you we're talking about after all, Kakashi-san," he said with a wan smile, "If you'd come on time, I would have thought there was a major problem in the world order."

Kakashi laughed weakly as he followed Iruka out of the gates. "I guess I deserved that…" He caught up to his irascible companion, and matched his brisk pace. When Iruka was in one of his gentler moods, it was hard to imagine how violent his temper could get. Until Kakashi had taken on responsibility for team 7, he'd barely noticed the chuunin's existence. For sure, their paths hadn't crossed much, but even when they did, Iruka's manner was so quiet and unassuming that he hadn't made much of an impression. Of course, getting to know Naruto had inevitably meant getting to know his former sensei a little better. The initial image Kakashi had attached to Iruka was that of a mother hen, clucking over her chicks; gentle and caring, if occasionally exploding into brief bursts of outrage, more entertaining than alarming, at some of the more unconscionable behavior of his charges.

That was his picture of the man—until he'd recommended Iruka's favorite student for the potentially deadly Chuunin exam. He'd had to revise his mental image from mother hen to mother tigress. He'd gotten the distinct impression at the time that Iruka would have gladly ripped him limb from limb, if that had been at all feasible. Fortunately, it wasn't, and Kakashi had lived to see his faith in his students vindicated, and the mother tigress's fury abate.

It was a little odd, Kakashi mused, that he always attached female imagery to Iruka. He gave his companion a sidelong glance. There really wasn't anything feminine in his appearance. He was tanned and broad shouldered, with a sturdy build. He was maybe a few centimeters short of Kakashi's height, but that was still respectable. His features were open and honest, but rather plain; certainly not the delicate features that you'd associate with a woman's face. It must all be in the motherly personality and the fact that he was always surrounded by kids. He shot another look at Iruka and found him looking expectantly back at him.

Iruka frowned in disapproval when, finally catching Kakashi's eye, he received only a blank look. "Kakashi-san," he gritted, "did you hear anything I said?"

"Ahh…" Kakashi scratched the back of his head and his eye arched in a sheepish smile. "I'm afraid not. Sorry."

Iruka's face reddened with anger. "Listen when people are talking to you, huh? Isn't that just common courtesy?" The volume of his voice had risen until it was just under a shout. Now, with a few deep breaths, he consciously controlled himself. He crossed his arms and adopted a stern expression. "I'm disappointed in you, Kakashi-san!"

Kakashi tried not to laugh, thankful that Iruka couldn't see the expression on his face. Iruka was chiding him almost as if he was one of his flock of students. It was rather cute.

"Maa maa," he said placatingly, "Don't say that. I'm listening now, so what was it you were saying?"

Iruka still didn't look pleased, but he had no choice but to accept Kakashi's request that he repeat himself. "I was trying to fill you in on the details of the mission. Hokage-sama said that she wouldn't have time to brief you properly."

"Mm. True enough. All she told me was that it would take about two weeks and that you were the other member of the team. Now that I think about it, I don't even know where we're going…"

Iruka sighed hopelessly. "And you didn't think to ask? Oh never mind. Here's the situation in a nutshell: The son of the daimyo of the Country of Ink has taken a fancy to the daughter of one of the wealthy ink merchants. It seems the competing merchant clans think that the family connection to the daimyo will give that family too great of a business advantage, and are ready to do almost anything to keep the marriage from proceeding. So, the father of the bride has hired us to make sure nothing happens to his daughter before the wedding."

"Oh? How uninteresting. Why was this classified as an A rank mission?"

"There's a rumor that the other clans are pooling their resources to hire some elite ninja. If it's true, and depending on whom they can get their hands on, things could get difficult. That's why Tsunade-sama thought it was worth sending you. You're not just strong, you're well suited to fighting a very wide range of opponents. Even if we don't know exactly what we're up against before-hand, as long as we have you, everything should be fine."

Kakashi glanced over at his companion with a raised eyebrow. What was this? Hero worship? Sucking up? Neither, it seemed. Iruka's expression was completely matter-of-fact. "I see… So my role is to flawlessly repel attack from any enemy, regardless of skill, type, or numbers."

Iruka, recognizing the absurdity, smiled sheepishly. "Well, more or less, yeah. Sorry, but unless there are some small fry in the mix, I probably won't be much help, though I'll do my best."

Kakashi raised his other eyebrow, although it was hidden from sight beneath his hitai-ate. Iruka wasn't exactly overflowing with self confidence, it seemed. Well, he wasn't all that familiar with the chuunin's capabilities. Maybe his low opinion of himself was well warranted. "So… No offense, but what's your role in all this, then?"

Iruka laughed self-deprecatingly. "No offense taken. Basically, I'm along as the bride's baby-sitter. Hokage-sama thought I was particularly suited to the job…"

Kakashi grinned under his mask, but didn't say anything.

"But leaving the mission aside…" Iruka's face was suffused with such a sweet mix of affection and concern, that Kakashi couldn't help but feel an answering warmth stir in his chest. "I wanted to ask you… How has Naruto been doing lately? Things have been so busy that I haven't really had time to talk to him for a while…"

Kakashi couldn't help himself. He reached out a hand to ruffle Iruka's hair, just as he would have done with Naruto himself. Iruka made a very interesting expression; eyes round, brows drawn together, mouth twisted half in surprise and half in displeasure, and cheeks flushed. Kakashi ignored his less than favorable reaction and smiled kindly at him. "You don't have to worry about Naruto, Iruka-sensei," he told him reassuringly, "Jiraiya-sama has been responsible for his training lately, so I don't know the details, but every time I see him, he's gotten stronger. Naturally, he's in perfectly good health and spirits, too."

Iruka was still a little red in the face, but his mouth curved into a smile. "Thank you, Kakashi-san. You don't know how glad I am to hear that."

Kakashi laughed, and reached out to give the young man another pat on the head. Iruka dodged his hand with a frown and a return of the color in his cheeks. He clapped a protective hand over the top of his head. "I'm not a kid, Kakashi-san," he said reproachfully, "Please don't treat me like one."

"Ah… sorry, Iruka-sen-sei." He pronounced the title with an impudent lilt in his voice that set Iruka's teeth on edge, and ostentatiously shoved his hands into his pockets and out of temptation.

"Ka-ka-shi-san!" Iruka growled, but the merry curve of Kakashi's eye when he turned to look at him made it impossible to maintain his anger. All he could do was go one notch redder in the face. "You're enjoying this, aren't you Kakashi-san…" he grumbled.

"Very much so, Iruka-sensei," he paused and then added with a touch more sincerity than he'd put into his last apology, "I am sorry, though. I'll stop teasing now. Promise."

Iruka just sighed and shifted the pack on his back.

…

Iruka found dealing with Kakashi-san… difficult. People were always telling him he was too simple minded. Mizuki had even called him naïve. To some extent, he thought, all that was true. He was a very straightforward person, and Kakashi-san was pretty much his polar opposite. Frankly, Iruka had absolutely no idea what he was thinking most of the time. Like for instance, how could such an excellent shinobi, who demonstrated such a strong sense of duty in some areas, be so consistently and atrociously late for everything? And then there was his mischievous sense of humor. For some reason, Kakashi-san seemed to be having a great deal of fun stirring him up, just to take the wind out of his sails a moment later. Iruka was starting to find himself both confused and overwhelmed by the force of Kakashi-san's personality. Normally, their interactions were brief and superficial. On those occasions the legendary copy-nin had always come off as—a little weird, yes—but laid back. Kind of… mild. But then he remembered the one time when he'd challenged Kakashi-san's decision to allow Naruto and his team to participate in the Chuunin exams—with rather unseemly violence, he had to admit. Kakashi-san, instead of trying to placate him, had deliberately provoked him further. Iruka still couldn't imagine why, but now Kakashi-san was doing essentially the same thing, if in a less serious situation. Was this some kind of perverse habit of his? Or maybe he wasn't as calm and collected as he seemed, and this was how he showed his annoyance. Iruka could easily believe that Kakashi-san had been annoyed with him back then, but had he done anything to piss him off this time?

And then there was that pat on the head. He'd thought his heart would explode from sheer surprise the first time Kakashi-san had touched him. He could feel himself blush just thinking about it. That was the kind of thing he did he did to Naruto. It was a gesture of love and affection… definitely not the sort of thing you did to another man only a few years younger than yourself. Or at least, that was how he saw it. Clearly, it must mean something completely different to Kakashi-san. After all, they barely knew each other. What love and affection could Sharingan-Kakashi possibly have for a nobody like him?

He found himself unconsciously touching the spot on the top of his head where Kakashi-san's hand had lain. Self-consciously, he glanced at his companion. Sure enough, he was observing him with an amused glimmer in his eye. Iruka looked away quickly, hooked his traitorous hands firmly into the straps of his pack, and focused on the path ahead of him as if his life depended on it.

…

Chapter 2: Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

That night there was a brief scuffle over who would take the first watch. Kakashi was prepared to sit up first, but Iruka, still bothered by the pat on the head, felt like he was being patronized. He might not be as skillful a ninja as Kakashi-san—OK, there was really no comparison—but at least he could match him in stamina. He insisted that he wasn't tired at all, and demanded that the older man sleep first. Kakashi gave him a long, unreadable look before shrugging his shoulders and lying back in the grass of the little clearing they'd found to camp in. For a while he just lay on his back, staring at the small patch of star-studded sky visible through the over-hanging branches. Finally, he closed his eye, rolled over with his back to his companion, and as far as Iruka could tell, went to sleep.

While Kakashi-san was still awake, Iruka diligently scanned the eves of the forest, but when there was no longer any possibility of being observed, Iruka found his eyes straying more and more frequently toward his companion. The star light was glimmering very invitingly, he found, in the wild silver tangle of Kakashi-san's hair, and he was gripped by an inescapable curiosity to know what it felt like. And after all, Kakashi-san was the one who had started this whole head-touching business. If he could do it, why couldn't Iruka? He shifted slowly, stealthily, trying not to rustle the overgrown grass and weeds he'd unadvisedly set himself down in. He reached out. Kakashi-san rolled over. His one visible eye, almost frighteningly dark in the poor light, focused on the outstretched hand, frozen a few inches from his head, then shifted to Iruka's horrified face.

"…Did you want something from me?"

"….!"

What a bad time for Kakashi-san to turn over. But of course, it wasn't just a coincidence. No, Kakashi-san must have been awake the whole damn time. He must have heard Iruka trying not to be heard, and turned over to see what the hell he was doing. And how exactly was he going to explain what he was doing? "Sorry, I suddenly really wanted to touch your hair…" sounded too weird even in Iruka's head.

"I… Um…" Still, his mind remained stubbornly blank.

The long, awkward pause stretched out until Kakashi finally took pity on him and broke the silence. "No sign of an ambush, I trust?"

"No. No, there's nothing wrong. That's not… anyway, there's nothing wrong." Iruka babbled, relieved. He didn't even want to contemplate what Kakashi-san thought about his strange behavior, but at least he wasn't going to make him put it into words. Now that Iruka was thinking a little more clearly, he realized that having compulsions to touch somebody in their sleep was not at all in the same category as patting a kouhai on the head. He didn't even want to explain it to himself, much less Kakashi-san.

Kakashi's eye was still examining Iruka's face. Finally, he uttered a sort of non-committal grunt, and turned over. There was a moment of silence, then:

"Oyasumi, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi drawled.

Meaning, probably, 'that was fucking weird, but to show you that I still trust you, I'm going to go to sleep in your presence.' Iruka took it as a token of forgiveness, and relaxed a little, swearing to himself that he would repay Kakashi's trust by thoroughly quashing the next weird impulse that came along.

Because for some reason, he felt that something had started when Kakashi touched him, and that this wouldn't be the last weird impulse he would have.

…

Kakashi observed Iruka narrowly all next day. He wasn't sure what to make of the young man's behavior last night. When he'd heard Iruka moving stealthily behind him, he'd assumed that his companion had noticed something in the woods that worried him, but when he'd turned to look, he'd found Iruka reaching for him. Now why the hell had he been doing that? Very weird. Furthermore, the man had been having an awfully hard time thinking up an explanation for his behavior. That part was very Iruka, now that he thought about it. Whatever it was he'd been trying to do, it would have been easy just to say "there was a spider in your hair, and I didn't want to wake you up" or something like that, and pass the whole thing off as nothing. Except that the academy sensei was an absurdly honest person.

And, Kakashi realized, a lie wouldn't have helped Iruka himself deal with whatever he'd been about to do. Judging from the dark circles under his eyes and his edgy mood, Iruka was more bothered by last night's peculiar occurrence than Kakashi was. He knew it wasn't just fatigue from the road. Normally, Iruka's youthful energy and stamina were enough to make him feel old. Furthermore, he'd kept an eye on the young man during his watch last night, and while Iruka had dutifully lain down and closed his eyes, he had been too utterly still and too tense to be actually asleep.

Kakashi's mind ran over all the possible interpretations of Iruka's behavior.

One: He'd been trying to kill him in his sleep. For some reason. And with his bare hands? Not likely.

Two: There really had been a spider in his hair. OK, then why not just say so once he realized Kakashi was awake? No good.

Three: Iruka had sensed some danger in the woods, as Kakashi had originally thought, and had been trying to wake him quietly. Then, again, why not tell him what was going on once he realized Kakashi was already awake? Maybe he didn't want to let the enemy know he'd picked up on their presence? But if that was the case, Iruka would have dropped some kind of sign that there was potential danger, and anyway, Kakashi hadn't noticed the presence of any attackers in the wood. No offense, but it wasn't likely that Iruka would pick up on something that he missed. Not likely, but not, he supposed, impossible. Furthermore, the chuunin had clearly thought Kakashi was patronizing him, and resented it. Maybe he'd thought better of informing Kakashi of the danger and decided to prove his worth by handling it on his own? Something to consider.

Four: Iruka had tried to touch him because he'd simply wanted to. Yes, with that kind of want. When this first crossed Kakashi's mind, he'd discounted it as more unlikely, by far, than Iruka suddenly having the homicidal urge to throttle him with his bare hands. After all, Iruka had showed homicidal urges towards him before (over the whole Naruto/chuunin exam thing), and—let's face it—he had been pushing the man's buttons the day before.

But then there were all those blushes. It was really astounding how easily Iruka blushed, what with that dark complexion of his. Kakashi had been passing them off as embarrassment of a different sort, but they could be interpreted as… well… let's just say that idea couldn't be taken off the table just yet.

Kakashi couldn't decide between reasons three and four. His companion's inability to sleep and recent edginess would fit with either. So Kakashi continued to watch Iruka, and he continued to watch the woods on either side of the path for signs of pursuers. The day wore on, no pursuers appeared, and to Kakashi's immense relief, Iruka began to relax. By the time they stopped for the night, he was almost himself again. The night passed uneventfully, with no further strange behavior on his companion's part, and Kakashi decided that, while he couldn't exactly forget the whole thing, he would at least try to push it to the back of his mind. Before the morning was over, they would arrive at the ink merchant's villa, and there would be other things to worry about.

….

'Kay, more is on the way, but that's it for now. I hope you can find it in your heart to review!

To Cardboard Bike: If you're reading, I tried to go back over this and incorporate some of the suggestions you made on the last fic. Some of the honorifics have been preserved in Iruka's POV. That's because, while they're not direct thoughts, they are a reflection of Iruka's state of mind, and I thought dropping the honorific on Kakashi's name would undermine the sense of (somewhat exasperated) respect Iruka has for him, and also the sense of the distance Iruka feels between them. I also tried to cut down on using their names over and over again, but I didn't want to use any descriptions that weren't directly relevant to how the character was being viewed at the time, so I can't say I totally succeeded there, either.