Title: Don't Let Go
Rating: PG-13
Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship, missing scene (post-Fear Her)
Spoilers: Mostly for Fear Her, but minor spoilers for Dalek, Bad Wolf, and The Parting of Ways
Character/Pairing: Tenth Doctor, Rose Tyler, Ten/Rose
Number: 1/1
Word Count: 1 587(as stated in Microsoft Word)
Summary: He holds her tightly to himself…
Author's Note: This little plot bunny came up and bit me because of the many really depressing DW fics I have been reading lately and I just couldn't help but picturing the Doctor holding Rose as tightly to himself as possible. This short little fic was the result. Hope you enjoy and any comments are appreciated.
The Doctor could clearly remember the last time he felt like this. He could describe every moment of it, feel it well up within him and almost completely overwhelm him. There had been many occasions when he'd felt like he was going to lose her, but only a few felt like this. When he'd heard clearly over an ear piece her whispered apology followed by the horrible sound of weapon's fire…when he'd watched her running towards him full of panic and then suddenly have her disappear before his eyes…when he'd seen her standing before him cloak in golden light…
His arms tightened around her and she snuggled further into his chest, sensing his need to have her as close as possible. They were lying silently on his bed, her head on his chest and arms wrapped tightly around his middle. He had one arm wrapped tightly across her back, pulling her close, while the other stroked the strands of her hair, his head resting against hers. They'd been silent for a while now, just soaking in each other's presence. If Rose noticed how tightly he was holding her or the tension that was running through him, see made no mention of it, instead just letting him take from her what he needed.
He wished that he could tell her why he felt the way he did, why his hearts were clenching painfully in his chest and had his mind almost in full-blown panic, but he could hardly understand it himself, much least explain it. He could just feel it with a certainty that was his curse for being a Time Lord that his time with her was running out. There was a storm coming; every sense that he had could feel it and he instinctively knew that it would tear her away from him.
So he held her as close as he could, daring the universe to take her away. He couldn't let it, didn't know how he would survive if he did. He needed Rose like he needed air to breath. She was what held him together. After the Time War he'd all but lost himself, but she saved him. She kept him from the edge; she made him stop when the Oncoming Storm that ran through is blood demanded its fill. How could he possibly give her up?
The answer was simple…he couldn't and that knowledge had him closing his eyes tightly and pressing her head just a little tighter to his chest. He felt her arms tighten around him in response, the hand that had somehow managed to slip beneath his jacket and dress shirt soothingly rubbing the skin above the waistline of his trousers.
Could she feel it too? That their time was running out? He knew intellectually that she couldn't but that didn't stop her from reading it in his features. He couldn't hide it from her. He wanted to – he never wanted to worry or scare her – but he knew she'd see right past it.
You know what; they keep on trying to split us up, but they never ever will.
She's said it with such confidence, such assurance in the way they were and the way things are, but he couldn't help but stop at look at her, foreboding rising in his chest at her words.
Never say never ever.
He'd seen the doubt that had flickered in her eyes for a moment, seeming to remember the ordeal they'd just been through, but then she'd snapped right back with a smile, shaking her head at the ridicules notion that they'd ever be apart.
Nah. We'll always be okay, you and me…don't you reckon, Doctor?
He'd wished that he could tell her that they would be; wished that he could promise that they'd be together for however long she wanted them to be – couldn't let himself believe that it would be forever, no matter what she said – but he could never lie to her, his beautiful Rose.
Something in the air. Something coming. A storm's approaching.
Every muscle in his body was tense with its approach and he felt Rose shift against him in reply, her hand moving up higher under his shirt to stroke his back.
"What is it?" She asked softly, finally putting voice to her worries. He was slightly surprised that she let him get away with the silence for as long as she had, but even trying to voice what was running through him made his throat close up.
"Doctor?" She shifted again, raising her head to look down at his face. He could tell from the look in her eyes that what he felt was clearly displayed across his features.
She removed her hand from under his shirt, raising it to stroke at his cheek. "What's wrong?"
He watched her silently for a moment, helpless to even begin to explain to her how important she was and how terrified he felt by what was coming. He was going to lose her; there was nothing he could do about that. He would outlive her, and even though that thought tore him apart inside, he refused to allow anything but old age to take her away from him, regardless of what all his senses were screaming at him.
He raised a hand to cover the one she still held against his cheek, closing his eyes and tilting his head to place a kiss in the centre of her palm. He felt her intake of breath in the way her torso rippled against his and he couldn't help the small, but sad smile that graced his lips because of it.
"How long are you going to stay with me?" he asked softly, his breath ticking her flesh as he opened his eyes to stare up at her.
Her eyes widened slightly and he could see her thinking over his words, piecing them together with his actions and knew that she'd sensed the way his voice had shook and perhaps realized the reason behind it.
"I'm not leaving you," she said gently, her voice full of reassurance as her hand moved slightly in his, running through the edges of his hair. "I said I wouldn't and I meant it. I'll stay with you forever."
She said the words so lightly, perhaps not realizing the way his hearts clenched at her almost careless use of the word. Human lives were so fast, barley a blink of an eye to him. She knew that, knew that long after she was gone he'd still be here, and yet she still promised him forever. Oh how he wished he could believe it, even for a moment, just pretend that she could actually stay with him for the rest of his life and not just her own.
"What's brought this on, then?" She asked, slouching slightly against him, her left leg sliding over his and curling around his thigh. She frowned then, "Was it what you said earlier. About a storm?" her voice wavered slightly, not a lot but just enough for him to notice and he silently cursed himself for worrying her.
He forced a smile onto his face. "Nah, no use worrying over that. We've been through storms before."
She didn't seem convinced over his nonchalant tone and the smile slide from his face. "But you've never sounded worried about them before. Never brought them up before they're here." He watched her silently, almost seeing her mind fit the pieces together. "You sensed something, didn't you? Some Time Lord sense I don't know about."
"Rose," he began softly, bringing up a hand to stroke her cheek. "There are a lot of things that I sense, all the time. Different timelines converging and separating, outcomes to every decision any one makes. I can see it all, inside my head, but that doesn't mean it all comes true. Sometimes I sense things are going to happen one way, but then someone makes a choice and the outcome changes. Nothing is set in stone."
She frowned then, looking at him in confusion. "My choice won't," she stated with certainty. "I'm staying with you."
He smiled at her softly, stoking her hair.
"Was that what you were worried about? Me leaving you?" She looked down at him in defiance. "Cause I'm not."
He sighed, pulling her down so that he could kiss her forehead before settling her once more against his chest. He'd let her believe that's what he been worried about because he couldn't bear to let her know the truth. That he was worried she wouldn't have a choice in the matter.
"I know," he said softly into her hair, because he did know. She'd shown him, oh so many times, that she wasn't going to leave. Almost killed herself in her efforts to come back to him more then once. He just prayed that she never actually did.
His arms tightened around her again, holding her close and he felt Rose sigh against him, her hot breath ghost against the exposed skin at his neck. Her arms and legs tightened around him in comfort, letting him know she was here and he used ever sense that he possessed to soak her all in, knowing that he'd need this feeling, this perfect memory of the two of them, to get him through the darkness he could feel approaching.
"Don't let go," his voice cracked slightly over the words he hadn't meant to speak and Rose place a soft kiss against his neck in reply.
"Never."