Song: Untitled Song/Nameless Song feat. Kagamine Len
Lyrics:
Ship: Kurtofsky
Rating: M for language, darkness-ness, and self-abuse on poor Davie-kins!
Time: Right after when Dave runs away from dancing with Kurt in Prom Queen
Disclaimer: I don't own the Kagamine's or any of the Vocaloids, nor do I own Dave and Kurt from Glee (though you don't know how much I wish I did). I also don't own the Beatles (just so you all know), and to be honest, I'm not even sure how Across the Universe made it into this fic, but what the heck! Whatever. P.S. There will probably be a sequel later where Kurt laments about not running after Dave at Prom. Don't worry! Dave won't just die off! Let there be light! And let there be closure!
Untitled Song by xxFragmentsxx
All alone in my room
Gazing at the setting sun
'I can't believe you ran, again!' I sat alone. The water pooling around where I sat was soaking into my tuxedo. I sighed, wanting to move, but not having the strength. 'You're pathetic!' My fists clenched and I felt another shockwave of tears course through me. They really wanted to be free, but I couldn't let them leave my eyes. It would only prove my weakness.
Not even the locker room's thick, concrete walls could fully eliminate the sound of Abba coursing through the gymnasium. 'Kurt's in their. Dancing. But not with me...' I sniffled up a tear, then brought my hand down to the floor and repositioned myself on the uncomfortable shower tile. 'He never will.'
Instead of bringing my hand back up to my face to wipe my tears as they finally began to run free, I decided I would use a different method to stop myself from crying. 'The wounds are still visible from before.' I thought as I reached into my front pocket. 'Why not open them back up?'
As the swiss army knife made contact with my hand, I sighed in relief. I could finally set myself free, after all this time of being trapped. I was going to be free.
Suddenly I'm stricken with loneliness
So I hum a melody
"Words are flowing out... *sniffle*... like endless rain in to a paper cup," I hummed to myself as I brought the tiny blade up to my arm. "They slither while they pass... they slip away *choke* across the universe..." The song had come out of nowhere. But I didn't mind. What I did mind though was all of my crying.
I had never cried like this while I cut myself before. As I pressed the blade through my skin and reopened the first wound, I clenched, but didn't shed a tear. Only afterwards, as I continued to sing and watch the blood slowly run down my arm like a gentle stream, did I sob uncontrollably, my whole body shaking and quaking. "Pools of *hiccup* sor-sorrow... waves of joy *sniffle*... are drifting through m-m-my open mind, possessing and c-carressing me...*quiver*." I closed my eyes and rested my head on the wall as I administered the second incision. I could feel this one burst as I missed my target by less than an inch, probably rupturing a vain. Blood was soaking my pants now, along with the disgustingly filthy water that had been unable to make it's way down the shower drain. Such an awful place to be. 'The perfect place for me to die.'
"Jagu ru deva om..." Normally, at this point, I would have dropped the knife and clenched my rapidly bleeding arm. But no. Not this time. "Nothing's g-gonna change my w-w-world *hiccup*." As I kept my eyes firmly closed, I could still see images. Kurt's face after I had run off. Kurt running away after being announced as Prom Queen. Blaine going after him. Me and Azimio meeting each other for the first time in 6th grade. My mother, before she left us. My father, holding me after I had wet myself on the first day of kindergarten. I could see it so vividly, it almost seemed real enough to touch. I was crying and he had me in his arms, telling me it was going to be alright. Hushing me. Telling me not to be scared.
That nameless song
Gently fills my heart
Finally, I couldn't take it any more. I slowly allowed my eyes to blink open, though I wouldn't allow myself to look at what I had done to myself. Instead I kept on singing. "Nothing's gonna change my-my-my world *quiver*." As I continued to slowly hum out the lyrics, I tried to remember the song's name. But I just couldn't find it anywhere in my brain. Things were starting to disappear from memory.
There are no words for anyone to hear
It's a song all my own
"Nothing's gonna *choke* ch-change my world. Nothing's g-g-g-g-gonna *cough* change my-my-my world." One thing I knew for sure was that the song lasted longer. But mine tune would soon be coming to an end.
I reached up with a zombie-like hand and turned on the shower water. It scorched my skin as it rained down hard on me. With my last ounce of strength, I took my knife and slit my left wrist one more time, just to be sure it was all over. Silent tears raced down my cheeks as I waited. Slowly, blackness engulfed me. My body felt empty, and as I coughed up what was left of me, all of that darkness took me in and I felt my body crash down completely on the floor.
'Fly, David," I told myself, 'You've finally set yourself free.'
Mm...
...Fin...