joseph walked out of the bathroom, hands on his hips, humming as he walked around to find caesar.
"CAESARINO, WHERE ARE YOU" he screamed
"what the hell do you want jojo" caesar replied. his beauty sleep had been interrupted and he was upset.
"Caesarino, I'm here to propose an idea. we should have a movie night with lots of popcorn and candy and good food." joseph said loudly.
"Huh... that is kind of a good idea. let's go ask lisa lisa before she kicks us out for being loud and annoying again." caesar said.
the two guys found lisa lisa in the tub again and she was pissed that they intruded on her so-called 'me-time.'
"Joseph, Caesar, I just want to sit down and relax for half an hour before I deal with your... 'activities.' Can I not have 30 minutes of peace?" she huffed.
"Lisa Lisa-sensei! can me and caesar have a movie night. we've been bored lately." joseph said, adding the last part quickly. he did not want lisa lisa to be mad at him for being bored again because she would make him do chores.
"...Movie night. I have noticed you guys have been a bit on edge lately, so I guess this would be a good way to de-stress. Go ahead and have it, but make sure that you get back to work tomorrow." lisa lisa replied.
joseph did a cartwheel and ran back through the door. caesar didn't have the same rambunctious energy as joseph, so he merely said thanks and followed joseph.
"so caesarino, i was thinking-" joseph began.
"Please... Joseph, just call me Caesar... Caesarino is annoying me." caesar said, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Hmm... You should've told me this before, Caesarino." joseph teased. caesar rolled his eyes but didn't comment.
"anyway, as I was saying, I had a little funny idea... lets invite the pillar men." joseph said with a cackle.
"Joseph! What kind of idea is that?! we don't like hanging out with them, they don't hang out with us, so what good would it be to invite them over." caesar asked.
joseph had just said it was a funny idea, no? he shrugged his shoulders and laughed.
"It's not like they'd say yes anyway, right Caesarino?" joseph said.
caesar glared at joseph and crossed his arms. he thought joseph was cute at times but couldn't stand the idiotic "ideas" he came up with. he was fine with the initial concept, but joseph was making it a bit cryptic.
"do you even know where to begin with inviting them. they'll probably just beat you up again for talking to them." caesar said, smirking. he sipped on his coffee and looked at joseph's face. the other man had his eyes shut, thinking deeply about something. he hummed and opened his eyes again.
"I don't invite people over to my events, I force them to come with me. That's my style!" Joseph shouted.
But then again, Caesar was right. Joseph did not know how to invite a normal person over and inviting the pillar men over would be difficult. for starters, they did not like joseph very much ... or at all! next, he wasn't sure how he could get in contact with them since they just sort of manifested whenever he was in a bad mood or when he was extremely exhausted. maybe he would get into a fight with caesar again to try and get into a bad mood.
when joseph was thinking of what to do, lisa lisa came into the room and stared at him. joseph looked at her and explained his idea. lisa lisa also thought it was a bad idea, but joseph wanted chaos.
he took his phone out of his pocket and pulled up twitter. he knew kars used twitter for some reason and both esidisi and wamuu would hack it every so often to post ironic memes.
joseph hit the dm button and sat there. what was he to say? he took a sharp breath and began typing.
"hey kars we're having a movie night at lisa lisas house lol. you and your squad are invited ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. bring food if you have any.
- j. joestar"
"perfect!" he shouted, hitting send.
terrifyingly, there was an almost instantaneous response…
"O.K."
joseph gasped at this message and started sweating. there was no way that Kars was going to come over to lisa lisas house to watch shitty movies.
"What is it jojo. you're sweating like a pig." caesar asked.
"Kars… he said 'OK' to coming over…" joseph said quietly.
"...What?" caesar asked, with pure confusion lacing his words.
joseph turned his phone over to caesar and put his hands over his eyes. what a bizarre predicament he had gotten himself into! shakily, he got up and huffed.
—-
suzie q opened the door and screamed for joseph to come over. he jumped off the sofa and ran to the foyer, where he froze.
"...hello kars… wamuu, esidisi… i didn't think you'd actually come." joseph mumbled.
"Speak up, boy! We only came to humor you. Do not take this as a sign of friendship." esidisi scoffed.
"Exactly. There is no other reason to be here." wamuu said.
kars did not say anything but eyed joseph carefully. joseph stared at him for a minute; the air was tense.
"Are you going to invite us in or must we do all the work?" Kars said, breaking the silence.
Joseph jumped and stepped to the side. the pillar men glared at him and entered the foyer.
"right this way. lisa lisa has a 72 inch flat screen tv and blu-ray disc players hahaha." joseph said, leading them to the living room. caesar was in there watching diners drive ins and dives.
"hey jojo, do you know why guy fieri is like that" caesar said absentmindedly. he was eating doritos and drinking a mountain dew.
"Caesarino… look who showed up!" Joseph said with a laugh, completely ignoring caesars question.
caesar looked up and made eye contact with kars. he was bewildered, mostly because he hadnt expected kars or esidisi to come at all. if anything he only assumed wamuu would come.
wamuu was holding something that appeared to be a dvd.
"what have you got there" joseph asked. he tilted his head like a dog. for some reason, he hadnt noticed that before.
kars and esidisi turned their attention towards wamuu, who was thinking of what to say. caesar turned the tv back up, because he didn't like how ominous the atmosphere was. jojo glanced over at caesar and laughed nervously.
"nothing." wamuu said. he turned to joseph and motioned for him to come over. joseph shuddered and walked over.
"what is it. you're really scary, you know?" joseph said.
"how blunt you are, jojo. anyway, me and esidisi wanted to mess with kars a bit, so we got the american classic movie, 'cars' to show him. i brought it in the cover of another movie called 'drugstore cowboy' which kars watched last week. he started to cry and his makeup ran all down his face and he looked awful, but i couldn't say that." wamuu exclaimed. he glanced at the box he held and laughed.
"OH MY GOD. okay, this is going to be one of the funniest things on earth. i knew you guys were okay. terrifying, but okay. so here's the plan, first we'll watch a random movie that caesar likes because he's been in a bad mood lately or something. then we'll put THIS in." joseph said. this had just the amount of chaotic energy that joseph wanted in the first place.
caesar wanted to watch lord of the rings (the second one though) but wamuu didn't want to watch the extended edition and caesar called him a coward. the second option was the bee movie, but kars said he'd rather die than have to watch that again. the third option was kingsman, which none of them (except for lisa lisa) had seen.
lisa lisa said it was a good movie and she liked it, and kars had some type of respect for her (but not too much) so he watched it. halfway into the movie kars started crying anyway, but his makeup didn't run because he had water-proof makeup this time… so smart!
after the movie esidisi was crying now and had to go outside because he was wailing and lisa lisa didn't want him to break something. as soon as he stepped outside there was a loud sound because he fell off the steps. wamuu stared at kars, who was pinching the bridge of his nose.
lisa lisa turned to him. "how do you put up with them when they're more chaotic than these two?! i need advice, because sometimes its unbearable."
"lisa lisa… they are usually much more tame. they're so strong but i know they let their emotions get the best of them and that's what makes them so … odd." kars sighed.
"OKAY, IS EVERYONE READY FOR THE OTHER MOVIE." joseph screamed.
wamuu turned his attention towards esidisi, who had come back in, and smirked. joseph chuckled and put the disc in.
"hey kars can you maybe get me another drink… hehehe" joseph asked.
"i don't think i have to do anything for you little man." kars said boredly.
joseph was scared. the plan was that kars wouldn't see the opening and wouldn't know it was cars so he didn't get pissed off so fast. but it loaded faster than joseph could come up with another plan, and kars looked absolutely mad.
"...Do you think of me as some type of joke, Joseph Joestar?" kars was Livid.
the other pillar men broke down laughing and kars whipped around.
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS AGAIN?! Do you learn nothing?! I… Am done with BOTH of you." kars shouted, storming out of the room.
"Again?!" Joseph asked.
"Oh yes, we've done this to Kars like 13 times now. We trick him into thinking we're going to watch a 'normal' movie, and then we put cars in. the first time he just sighed and went to bed, but this is the angriest he's ever gotten." esidisi explained. he was crying again but this time it was because he was laughing so hard. "last time he stress cried though and said he was going to leave us for someone else… but then again, he can't do that because the other members of our kind have died." he continued.
"...You guys are something else completely." caesar mumbled. he took out the cars disc and put in bee movie instead. kars came back with his makeup smeared anyway, probably because he was wiping away tears, and saw bee movie. he let out a deep sigh and turned to esidisi.
"you know. i try my best to put up with you two but this is so straining, im going to get wrinkles and im going to look old." kars said, completely defeated.
"AH NO! KARS NO! DOn't be sad!" esidisi shouted. he liked to tease kars but when he saw kars get upset he was nervous, mostly because kars was not going to forget this ever. because kars was upset, esidisi started to get upset and inevitably cried for the third time in a row. then wamuu, who had come up with the whole thing cried too.
lisa lisa looked absolutely perplexed and turned to joseph, who was taking in the scene in absolute confusion. caesar was watching and recording it on his phone. very bizarre.
"hey… can you not cry in my house? go do it at whatever weird house you guys have stolen this time." lisa lisa coughed. she was trying to subtly make them leave because she was getting uncomfortable seeing the pillar men crying. it completely ruined her image of them being the strong, unemotional enemies that she assumed they were.
once they left, joseph turned all of the lights on and saw there was a huge mess. mountain dew was spilled all over the floor and wine glasses were shattered. there was also food and crumbs Everywhere and it was mostly on his and caesars side of the room. caesar pointed to joseph immediately and blamed him for making such a disaster and ran off.
lisa lisa groaned and forced joseph to clean up a good majority of it before sentencing suzie q to do the rest. even though most of the night went okay, she never wanted joseph to host anything like this ever again. in the end, joseph and caesar were More stressed out because lisa lisa was exhausted and didn't want to bother with them.
joseph later dm'ed kars again to 'apologize' for what happened, partly because he felt bad and also because caesar forced him to out of courtesy.
"Hey kars, sorry that you got so upset when we had you guys over the other day lol." he wrote. he honestly couldn't think of anything else and it wasn't his fault so why should he come up with something elaborate? he sent it off and waited a bit, only to find out that kars left him on seen. joseph didn't care at this point and spent the next day hanging out with caesar, playing tony hawk's pro skater 2.