What's New Pussycat?
A Hancha and Puar StoryA/N: This is a story about Hancha, the son of Marron and Yamcha. Hancha was created by Kinomi, so he belongs to her, and all the other characters belong to Akira Toryama and Toei Animation. And the title is a song written by Tom Jones (at least I think he wrote it. Well, performed by, anyway).
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
"Alright, thanks for calling Bra, I appreciate it," Marron said, with a forced calmness. The look on her face was anything but calm. Hanging up the phone, she turned to face her husband and their three-year-old son. "That was Bra. She can't baby-sit for us tonight."
"What?" Yamcha asked, in disbelief. "Why not?"
"Apparently she's grounded for sneaking out to see Goten again." Marron sighed and flopped onto the couch. "Looks like we won't be able to go…"
"Mar! We have to go! This is the presentation night for my baseball team! I'm their coach – if I'm not there…"
"I understand this is important to you, but we can't just leave Hancha here by himself. My parents can't get here, our babysitter has just cancelled…"
"Goten?" Yamcha suggested, lamely.
Marron gave Yamcha a look, which she had obviously inherited from her mother – Krillin could never look so frightening. "You think I would leave my only son with that irresponsible excuse for a man?"
Yamcha could have kicked himself for suggesting his wife's ex. Sure, they were supposed to be friends, but Marron made it no secret how much she distrusted the young Son.
"Besides," Marron scoffed, "he's probably got some secret meeting with Bra planned. I've known Bra her whole life, and being grounded has never stopped her from seeing her man."
Unnoticed by the arguing couple, Puar had been watching intently. She had just had a lucky sneak escape from an active toddler, and was hoping to find a way to lengthen that freedom.
No such luck.
"There you are, kitty!" the young voice of Hancha cried, making a firm grip on the cat-like creature's tail.
"Ummm…Hancha. I thought it was time we played a new game!" Puar squeaked. "It's called, 'Let's leave the kitty alone, and let her sleep'."
"That doesn't sound like any fun!"
Meanwhile, Yamcha and Marron's heated debate was continuing. For every suggestion Yamcha made, Marron had a quite plausible reason for dismissing it.
"Pan?"
"Pan doesn't have any idea of how to look after children! That's why we always ask Bra to baby-sit for us."
Utterly defeated, Yamcha looked down at his feet with a look of total disappointment on his face. This was the biggest night of the year for baseball players and coaches alike. Yamcha's team, the Taitans – the same team he had played for in his youth – had won their finals this year, for the first time in around five years. The whole team would feel let down if their coach didn't show up for their big night.
Marron saw the look on the love of her life's face, and her expression softened. "Yamcha…you go. I'll stay and look after Hancha. There's no point in both of us staying at home moping."
"I can't go without you, Mar," Yamcha pleaded. "I have the prettiest wife out of all the people going, and I want people to know that."
"Oh, Yamcha, you're so sweet." Marron placed a kiss on Yamcha's nose. She looked at Hancha, who had pulled poor Puar into a rather uncomfortable looking hug. "We can't take him with us, can we…?"
Following Marron's line of view, Yamcha also spied the cute scene…and a brilliant plan hatched in his mind. "What about Puar? Hancha's grown up with her – she'd be the perfect babysitter."
Marron's earlier frown immediately returned. "Yes, she'd be the perfect babysitter…if she wasn't a cat!"
"Shape-shifter!" Puar cried from her captivity within Hancha's arms.
"Puar isn't just any cat," Yamcha said, defensively. "How many house-cats do you know that can talk?"
"Fine, she's a talking, shape-shifting cat! That still doesn't add up for much on a job record."
Wriggling free of Hancha's grasps, Puar scowled a Marron. It wasn't as if she didn't like Marron, she just didn't like the way that the young blonde always put her down. She had known Yamcha for most of his life, and he had trusted her beyond doubt for all that time. It annoyed Puar when Marron tried to come between that friendship. She probably didn't mean to do it, but that didn't mean Puar was any less annoyed.
"I can look after Hancha perfectly well!" she growled, to the best of her ability.
"Yeah, mamma!" Hancha cried. "Let the kitty look after me!"
Marron glanced from her grinning son, to the scowling cat, and finally to her begging husband. With a sigh, she gave in. "Fine, Puar can look after Hancha. Let's go now, before I change my mind."
"Marron, I love you!" Yamcha cried, embracing his wife.
"Yeah, yeah. You'd better." Marron picked up her bag. She knelt in front of Hancha, and gave him a stern look. "Now, I want you to be a good boy, understand?"
Hancha nodded eagerly. "Sure thing, mamma!"
"You do everything Puar says to do, like you do for Bra." Marron softly kissed Hancha's forehead. She looked at Puar. "His bedtime is 7.30 and dinner's in the fridge. Can you use the microwave?"
"Puar knows everything, Mar," Yamcha said, gently. He had noticed the scowl on Puar's face getting angrier and thought he should urge Marron to leave before he had an almost literal catfight on his hands. "Be good, Kiddo."
"Bye, mamma! Bye daddy!" Hancha called, waving to his parents. "And don't worry – kitty and me are gonna have loads of fun!"
The door shut, and Puar suddenly wondered just what she had gotten herself into.
* * * * * *
"Ungh…" Puar groaned as she tried to carry Hancha's dinner from the fridge to the microwave. The plate was almost twice her size, but she was managing…just.
Hancha sat at the table with an oh-so-innocent look on his face. He watched Puar's every move, unnerving her completely.
"Your dinner will be ready in a moment, Hancha," she told him.
"Thanks, kitty."
Waiting for the microwave to finish was possibly the longest few moments that Puar had ever experienced. In fact, it seemed to be taking so long, that when it finally did finish, the noise of it scared her and caused her to hit the roof. Hancha snickered, but stopped when Puar shot him an angry glare. Struggling again, Puar brought the meal to Hancha, and placed it in front of him.
"May I have something to drink?" Hancha asked, politely.
Puar groaned inwardly, but complied. She floated over to the fridge and took out the milk bottle. Juggling the bottle with a glass, she finally made it back to the table. She was panting heavily as she poured a glass for Hancha.
"I didn't want milk." Hancha smiled sweetly.
Puar resisted the urge to pounce on the child. "We don't have anything else. And milk is good for you. Gives you healthy bones and teeth."
"Oh, alright then." He poked at the meal for a moment. "Can I have some ice cream?"
"Finish your dinner first." Puar poured some milk into a bowl for herself. Hancha nodded and ate his dinner, which made Puar smile proudly. Maybe she could handle this. Hancha wasn't so bad. He smiled at her when he was finished, so she kept her promise, and gave him some ice cream. It took him a lot less time to finish the ice cream.
"What will we do now, kitty?" Hancha asked, in his most angelic voice.
"Well, you have an hour before your bedtime, so…" Puar paused for a moment, then asked the question she probably shouldn't have. "…what would you like to do?"
The angelic face dissolved into an evil, evil grin. "Let's play a game."
"W-what sort of game?"
"Hide-and-seek wrestling."
"I don't think I've ever heard of that. Let's play something else."
Hancha shook his head, and spoke in a matter-of-fact manner. "It's really very easy. I'll be in. You go and hide, and I'll look for you. When I find you, you have to try and escape before I tackle you. If you can't, you'll just have to wrestle me to see who wins. Let's start!"
Hancha closed his eyes and Puar edged away. Where could she hide so that Hancha couldn't find her? But it wouldn't be very responsible of her to just leave him to his own devices. He was only three! She decided that she would hide in the light shades. That way, she could watch him, but avoid being seen at the same time.
She only just made it into the living room shade before Hancha shouted, "Ready or not, here I come!"
Puar watched as Hancha snuck into the room. She tried not to laugh, but he was about as stealthy as an elephant. He bumped into a small table, only just managing to catch lamp that was balanced on it. He glanced around guiltily. Puar resisted the urge to scold him. If she said anything, she would give away her hiding place.
"Kitty! Here, kitty!" Hancha called.
Puar rolled her eyes. How stupid did he think she was? She wasn't some dumb housecat. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in Puar's head. Of course! She was a shape-shifter; she didn't even need to hide.
Silently, she floated out of the shade and turned into a roller skate.
Hancha spun around as he heard a thud behind him. He didn't remember that skate being there before. He shrugged, and continued his search for Puar, not noticing the skate slowly following him.
They were in Hancha's room the next time he spun around. He had felt like something was watching him, and was surprised to see the same skate still behind him. He glared at it, and came in for a closer inspection.
Puar froze, realising she had been sprung, but it was too late. Hancha pounced, burying Puar, now in usual form, beneath him.
"Come on, kitty!" Hancha giggled. "You have to wrestle with me, or else I win and you have to hide again!"
Not knowing what else to do, Puar shifted into a pillow. The sudden change in size threw Hancha off her, but unfortunately, into the wall. Hancha sat for a moment in shock, before the tears started.
"OW! That hurt!" he wailed. "Kitty hurt me!"
Puar was mortified. Yamcha would never trust her again! Marron would have her thrown onto the streets. "I'm so sorry, Hancha!"
Hancha flinched as she came near, but stopped crying. Puar shifted back into cat-form, and smiled at the little boy.
"It was your idea to play this game," she said, lamely.
"Bra always plays it with me," he sniffled. "And she never pushes me into the wall."
"Well…uh…Bra's bigger than me. And so are you. But I'm still sorry, Hancha. Please forgive me."
Hancha looked at Puar suspiciously. "You won't hurt me again?"
"No way! It was an accident."
The little boy smiled, and pulled Puar into a hug. "I forgive you, kitty."
Puar gave a relieved smile, but it faded when she realised Hancha wasn't letting go. She was even more worried when she heard the soft sound of snoring. Twisting as much as she could in Hancha's embrace, she saw that the little boy had fallen fast asleep.
I guess all that excitement wore him out. She struggled to escape again, but it caused Hancha to stir in his sleep and grip tighter. Puar sighed in defeat. Looked like she was stuck there for the night. Well, I'm a little tired myself…
* * * * * *
"Puar?" Yamcha whispered, as he and Marron snuck inside. It was way past Hancha's bedtime, and they didn't want to wake him. Yamcha looked over to Marron and shrugged.
Marron pointed towards Hancha's room, indicating that they should look there. They both tiptoed to their son's room, and peered inside. Hancha was sleeping peacefully on his bedroom floor, with his arms firmly but gently around Puar. She was also sleeping, her mouth slightly open.
Yamcha and Marron smiled. Yamcha snuck past the sleeping duo and took Hancha's blanket off his bed. Trying not to wake them, he draped it over them, then followed Marron out of the room. With the door shut, Yamcha grinned at his wife.
"And you thought Puar would be a bad babysitter."
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