Disclaimer: I do not own anything

Author's note: I love RENT!! I am obsessed with the movie and over the past weekend I saw it on Broadway!

RENT

Her Name Was April

It came. The moment I have been waiting for and fearing all the same. My test results. Do I have AIDS? Does Roger??

My hands are shaking as I stumble trying to open the top flap to open the envelope. "Ow." I said aloud although there was nobody else there to hear me. I am at my house, our house, the one that Roger and I share. The envelope gave me a paper cut.

I quickly unfolded the single sheet of paper that was inside the thin envelope. I skimmed through all of the writing and my heart stopped. I dropped to the floor in shock and terror. In capital letters about a third of the way down the page was the single word "positive". I had AIDS. Roger, my sweet sweet Roger, had AIDS too.

I knew what I had to do. I only had a short time before Roger would be home and I just couldn't bare to see the look on his face when he found out.

I headed towards the kitchen and opened up a drawer, two drawers to the left of the sink. I grabbed the sharpest knife I could find and I placed it on the kitchen table.

I ran to my bedroom and shuffled through a few pieces of scrap paper, looking for one that would suffice for the ammount of writing that I was about to put on it. I picked up the first pen I could find. As I pressed the ink to the paper I realized the color of the ink. Red. How appropriate for the situation.

My hands shook as I scrawled the letters onto the page.

Dear Roger,

I cannot bear to live any longer. To wake up every day and see you,

always feeling guilty for what I have done to you. I love you more

than anything else in the entire world. I am sorry that I have to

hurt you like this. I know that I am going to miss you. I love you

so much.

Love,

April

I then kissed the page, right over the word "love", the one right before my I signed my name, allowing most of my lipstick to come off on it to leave a kiss-shaped mark.

I grabbed the knife off of the table and ran into the bathroom. The cold tiled floor made me shiver. With my letter in my hand, our test results on the floor next to me I lifted the knife and held it to my wrist. Pressing as hard as I could to make the blood flow as fast as I could. The pain was incredible I screamed. It dulled after a few seconds and then with the hand that was already gushing blood, i took the knife and held it to my other wrist, repeating the process.

I lied down and waited for death to find its way to me...