Medic was furiously handling his meat in his blackened laboratory. He pulled back and forth, making sure to go all of the way, gripping tightly at the shaft. Pounding harder and harder on his thick sausage, his thoughts condensed and he could only focus on one thing:
Heavy.
He couldn't erase that wonderful man from his mind; this had to be done for him and him alone.
His motions became more urgent. He was so close to finishing, the anticipation was killing him. He let out a groan and with one final stroke-
"Medic?" a burly man called out as he effortlessly pushed his way through the locked doors of the laboratory.
The doctor froze in place; his only hope now was that sheer silence and the darkness would hide him from this unexpected guest.
Heavy looked around the scene confused, "Are you here? Are you alright? I thought I heard y-"
His voice cut off when he caught the silhouette of the man who was desperately trying to remain hidden. He turned around to flick the lights on and the room illuminated quickly with the harsh light from the laboratory's fluorescent tubes. The doctor's heart sank; he would have a lot of explaining to do.
Heavy turned around slowly and upon catching Medic in his compromising position his eyes widened in shock, "Doctor, what..." the huge man took a while longer to process this predicament. All the while Medic's thoughts were racing, trying to think of things to say, but to no avail.
"Medic," Heavy said deliberately, putting weight on his every word, "are you...
MAKING ME A SANDVICH?!"
"Ja," the Medic said releasing his grip on the shaft of the knife and sheepishly scratching the back of his head, "it was supposed to be a surprise."
Heavy roared a mighty laugh and put his arm around Medic, "Oh, Doctor you shouldn't have! You know how much Heavy loves sandviches!"
"You're welcome," he said, "but Herr Heavy could you release me, bitte? I think you are crushing my spine."
The larger man let go of him and then approached the table that Medic was working on to examine it. Various deli meats were scattered about, he obviously did some experimenting before attempting this culinary feat. Other ingredients were arranged on the countertop: lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, the bread cut diagonally just the way Heavy liked it, and - was that Heavy's favourite sausage, kielbasa?! It was! That Medic really did think of everything.
Despite all of this, a distant thought crossed his mind, "Tell me Medic, what was noise I heard earlier?"
Medic searched his brain for what this man could be talking about, and the answer came swiftly, "Ah! Yes, I cut meine finger when I was slicing the sausage, I must have shouted then," he looked down at his middle finger which was bleeding slightly, "It is nothing I cannot handle."
"This all makes sense now," said Heavy, "for a moment I thought you were..."
He trailed off his sentence not sure on whether to complete it or not.
Medic raised his eyebrow, "Was?"
Immediately regretting what he said realising how it could have been misinterpreted, Heavy dragged the silence on further, not knowing how to retract his insinuation.
"It's just, well you were all alone and uh... The door was locked, and it was so dark..."
In a moment of complete and utter understanding the two men burst out laughing.
"You? Doing-," Heavy made a crude hand gesture, "-that?!
"This is a place of medicine, not masturbation!" the doctor retorted.
Heavy buckled over and howled while Medic collapsed in a chair holding his sides.
"What was Heavy thinking?"
This uproar ensued for a good five minutes before the two calmed down enough to communicate with each other.
"Hoo, hoo, hoo... What a silly thought," Medic said gleefully, wiping a tear from his eye.
"Да," replied Heavy, "how stupid!"
The Doctor let out a sigh, "Anyways, we should eat our meals before my doves start to peck at them." Heavy nodded in agreement and the pair grabbed their respective sandviches, shooing off the curious birds that seemed intent on the same purpose. They then settled down in chairs opposite of each other.
Eating their food in relative silence - only being broken by the occasional chuckle - the two basked in the aftermath of their predicament, only strengthening their bond further. And what a deep bond they have, such a bond is only one that the friendliest of friends could have.
THE END
-You dirty minded twat.