Hey Mail,

I'm really sorry for what I've done, but I just had to leave. I couldn't stay any longer.

L died... and before he died he didn't make a decision about whether the stupid sheep or me should be his successor, so Roger suggestet, that Near and I investigate against Kira together. Actually I even thought about it for a fraction of a second, but then Near really dared to call L a loser and with that this stupid bastard went too far! I could never work together with him,.. I might kill him after a few minutes.

I'm going to show them all, that I'm much better, than that stupid fuckin' sheep and I'm going to catch Kira without their help and I'll be even faster than Near.

Anyway,... what I actually wanted to tell you was, that I'm fuckin' sorry for leaving you...

I hate me for my selfish and stupid pride. If there wasn't my damn pride, I'd probably still be at Wammys with you, but my pride just doesn't allow me to stay in any institution where that stupid sheep is aswell. Especially not if I don't have the chance of becoming L's successor anymore. That just wouldn't be worth it... the only thing, that would've made me stay at Wammys is you. But I promise we'll see again, when I revenged L's death.

Please don't be mad at me... I'm sorry, that I'm just leaving a letter to explain to you, what I did and why I did it, but to be honest... I just don't have the courage to tell you face to face, what I write in here.

I couldn't look you in the eyes and say, that I want to leave and you have to stay here. I feel like I can't excuse myself often enough... first I thought about telling you goodbye face to face, but I couldn't make it... and I'm sure you would've said, that you want to come with me, but I couldn't take you with me, I have to leave alone,... it's just for you best...

I did this all to protect you! Yet I don't really know where this all is going to lead me, but I know that it might be very dangerous and I don't want to endanger you too.

Please promise me, that you stay at Wammys, so I can come back someday, get you out of there and take you with me.

I can totally understand, if you hate me now, and I'd probably be at least as angry aswell, but please don't cry, I don't want to be guilty for your tears...

Please always stay yourself! You are the person, that means the most to me in the fuckin' whole wide world, because you're just damn perfect and I can't even stand the thought of you crying.. especially not because of me.

I hate myself so much for telling you that with a letter, but I don't want to have any secrets or things I just didn't speak out, until we see again in some time, because I would regret it, if I didn't tell you...

Well... with the time our friendship grew more and more with each day, each hour, even with each fuckin' minute... and actually to me it isn't 'just friendship' anymore... I love you, Mail... and I hope, that you feel the same for me. You were always special to me, you were the only person, that I wanted to have around me all the time and I enjoyed every second of the time I spent with you. You're the best thing, that ever happened to me in my whole life.

Actually, that was what I wanted to tell you ... I love you! And it feels so nice to finally come out of the closet and confess my love to you.

Take care of yourself and don't ever let anyone harm you. Please don't forget me Matt.

See you,

with lots of love... Mihael

PS.: When you read that letter I'll already be gone, but I left you my rosary as a memory of all the good times we had.

I feel the tears rush into my eyes while I read the last few lines of the letter and my view becomes more and more blurred.

I love him- damn it! Now I don't have any chance of telling him, that I love him too,... fuck! I loved him for almost two years now and I will always do so! I could never forget him! The tears run down my cheeks.

Inhaling another breath of my cigarette, while I'm sitting at the window sill next to my bed looking out of the window and watching the heavy rain fall, when I actually realize a blonde tuft of hair walking up to Wammys huge iron gate. That blond tuft of hair looks almost like a golden halo walking into the darkness out there... Holy Shit!- was that Mello?!

For a moment it felt like my heart would stand still and I just froze in exactly that position I was in, because I just realized, that I still had a chance to stop Mello from leaving, or at least convince him of taking me with him. It wasn't over yet!

So it took me some seconds til I realized, that I just had to run out of the Wammys house and catch up to Mello. I'd probably be able to convince him of not leaving me alone.

So I slam the door to Mello's and my room open and run along the hallway, before I run down the stairs and cross the huge entrace hall. Then I slam the heavy and big entrace doors open and run through the pouring rain over to Mello.

Just a few feet before he reaches the huge iron gate I get a hold of his arm. He turns around in shock and his eyes slightly widen, as he notices, that it's me stopping me from leaving. He looks somehow relieved, but even more suprised.

I love everything about him. The way he looks at me when he thinks about something, his piercing silver-blue eyes making you almost scared, if you don't really know him and his usually perfectly styled almost golden hair, which is now drenched and sticks in his face, which just makes him more sexy. And of course his damn hot leather clothes, that just add to his natural sexiness. Holy shit- he's so fuckin' pefect!

We stand in the rain just looking into each others eyes for a bunch of seconds, before I rapidly move my hand up to the back of his head and pull his head against mine, pressing my lips on his. I can feel his warm and soft lips moving against mine before he softly licks my lips with his tongue. I sticked out my tongue and touch his. The kiss becomes more and more passionate and it feels like everything happens in slow motion.

To me all that is like a firework of emotions and I just don't know, if I should laugh or fuckin' cry!

I lengthen my arms slightly to put a small distance between him and me. Again we just stand there looking into each others eyes. I've got so many thoughts in my mind right now, I just don't know what to say...

But finally i speak out a simple "I love you, Mello..." before I pull him in for a hug. He snakes his arms around my waist and I'm so damn happy, that I finally reached what I wanted since the last two years. Everything just feels totaly right.

This moment is just perfect... we stand in the pouring rain holding each others in our arms and jus want to stay like that forever. None of us ever wanted this moment to end.

"Please..." I begin to whisper right into his ear "... please ... don't leave me, Mells..."

He sighs silently before answering "but... it's too dangerous for you! I just want to be sure you're fine and ... I .. don't want to be guilty if anything happens to you... I could neer forgive me that!" he sounds slightly afflicted... but I'm not going to let him Leave me,... now that he both confessed, that we love each other I just won't let him go!...

"You're not responsable for me at all! I'm old enough to take care of myself on my own! I really want to come with you and I'm sure I can help you with the investigation... I swear, that I'll be careful always!" for a few seconds all I could hear was the rain splashing on the ground and then I heard a very quiet "... fine .."

We stand here like this for another couple of minutes and just enjoy to finally hold each other in our arms and know, that the other feels exactly the same. Then we go back to our room.

We lie in my bed together, clung to each other with our foreheads held against each other and our eyes closed enjoying the wonderful moment...

"Mells?" I really don't want to break the beautiful silence, but this one question bothers me all the time and I'm sure I won't get it out of my mind, if I don't get an answer for it...

"huh?" Mello says with his soft voice and barely opening his mouth...

"can you answer me one question?" he smirks slightly

"well... that totally depends on the question... go ahead!"

"Why were you still here even though in the letter you wrote me, that you'd be gone by the time I read the letter?" He thinks for a moment before he answers the question.

"Oh... well... there are some reasons for that... first of all, I really thought, that by the time you rad the letter I'll already be gone... uhm.. secondly, I didn't expect you to run after me- even if I was still somewhere close to Wammys... and third... well ... I didn't have enough chocolate with me... so I went to the kitchen to stock up my... chocolate inventory... you know, that I could never go on a journey without having enough chocolate with me..."

"so.. does that mean, that if you weren't a chocoholic we... wouldn't be together by now?!" I ask to check if I really got it all right

".. yeah, that's pretty much it" he looks me in the eyes and smirks a bit "but now you have to answer me a question too... how come you already read the letter? I thought you were still asleep... and usually the earliest time you wake up is 10 in the morning..."

I couldn't restrain a grin "well.. as a gamer 6 am is mostly a normal time to be awake... that even explains, why I always stand up so late... guess I just went to the restroom before you woke up to leave..." I moved my head slightly forwards and put my lips on his, kissing him tenderly.

"You'll always be my sexy chocoholic, Mells.."

"And you'll always be my sweet gamer, Mattie..."

AN: Thx for reading,.. I'm glad about any reviews! :D

This is my first Fanfic, so please don't be too mean :) but I can handle criticism

*leaving you chocolate*