Animal Behavior
by channelD

written for: The NFA Loose Lips Sink Ships challenge. The aim of the challenge is to write a story showing the fallout when one member of a couple lets a secret out to others.
rating: T
pairing: Jimmy and Michelle
genre: Humor, Romance

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Disclaimer: After a year of writing NCIS fanfic, I still own nothing of NCIS.

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"You ever see any woman in leopard-skin pattern underwear, Probie? I never have. Stores carry it, I know—"

Tim pushed his cafeteria tray along the counter and laughed. "You're staking out the women's unmentionables department in stores still, Tony? I thought you'd given that up."

Tony looked at him stiffly. "That was purely for research purposes. And yes, I have." He grabbed a slice of chocolate cake from the dessert bar.

"My apologies, Dr. DiNozzo. But what do the women of your acquaintance wear? Nothing?"

"No, usually something black and lacy and oh-so-fine…Dang; I missed the drinks. Palmer, toss me a can of Pepsi, would you?"

"Sure, Tony." Jimmy, in line behind Tony and Tim, deftly whisked a can Tony's way. It was chance that had him arrive at the Navy Yard food court at the same time as Tony and Tim that day. Not that he would be sitting with them—they rarely invited him to do so. That was okay with him; he was content to eat alone. It was late May, and the temperature in DC was climbing by the day. As long as he had a bit of shade, he didn't mind eating in the park, where one could often get a smidge of breeze off the water.

"So—have you ever seen—?"

"Leopard prints on my dates? Uh, attire? Can't say that I have," Tim replied.

"Proves my point," Tony nodded. "Of course, yours are probably in corsets, McGiblet."

Tim reddened. "As a matter of fact—"

"As a matter of fact, I know someone who does wear leopard-patterned bras and panties," Jimmy spoke up suddenly. "And tiger-patterned, and zebra-patterned, and—" He broke off when he realized Tony and Tim were staring at him.

"That's 7 dollars and 23 cents, sir," said the teller at the cafeteria register. "Sir?"

It took a moment for Tony to hear her, and then, without much thought, he handed her a 1 dollar bill from his wallet, causing her to say again, "Sir?"

"Is this someone who works at NCIS?" asked Tim, struggling not to smile.

"Ah…er…" said Jimmy.

"James, my good man, I think it's best if you unburden yourself to us," said Tony, after handing the cashier a 10 dollar bill and forgetting to pick up the change. "Join us, and tell us everything you know. Leave out not one detail. McGee, pay for the fine fellow's lunch." He nodded at Jimmy's wrap and bottle of water. Tim rolled his eyes and did so partly out of Tony's change, and the three then took a table in the back of the room.

- - - - -

"So this is someone who works at NCIS," Tony pursued.

"Oh, yes. In Legal," Jimmy said carelessly.

"Hmmm. Do we know her?"

"Well, yes! Uh, maybe, I mean. There must be lots of people who work in Legal and you agents can't know them all."

"Not all the men, maybe," said Tim with a laugh, "but I'll bet that Tony knows all the women. Look, this is sounding personal. Maybe we better not—"

"I do know all the women in Legal," Tony sniffed. "It's my duty to stay informed. Now, who is it?"

Jimmy blushed. "You can't seriously expect me to name names!"

"Well, it would help. It's not Marge, the size—"

"No, she's quite petite." Jimmy was starting to feel he was getting in deep, but he wasn't able to entirely stop his runaway mouth.

"Michelle Lee?" ventured Tim, looking dubious. "I know she's got those great legs and all, for a person of her stature, but animal prints? I can't see that."

I have, Jimmy thought, and his pulses raced at the thought, "No, it's not Michelle. Why would you think it's Michelle? It's not Michelle."

"Because unless you have a different definition of 'petite', all the other women in Legal are at least 5'6"," said Tony. "It is Lee, isn't it? Rowwr!" He leaned back, pleased with himself.

"And just…how do you know this, Palmer?" Tim asked.

"I, ah…she told me."

"Man, you have all the luck!! Women I barely know don't tell me these things!" Tony grinned.

Tim ignored him. "You have something going on with Michelle Lee, Palmer?"

Jimmy took a long slug from the water bottle. "No, of course not. Michelle Lee? Hahahahahaha!"

"Just as well," said Tony. "You're twice her size. At least! If she ever took off her high heels, she'd probably disappear altogether!"

Jimmy joined in the laughter, but felt guilty about doing so. I'm letting them put her down…even though they're not being really mean about it, I still should be defending her. Shouldn't I?

Ah, well; this is just guy talk. Tony and McGee will forget about this as soon as we walk out of here.

- - - - -

Special Agent Michelle Lee had been working at the Pentagon office for the last few days, and had missed her Jimmy-fix. When she returned to NCIS the next morning, the topmost thing in her mind was when could she get away to meet Jimmy? She text-messaged him, but his phone was evidently off. Oh, of course. He's in class. She strode into the Legal department offices, looking thoughtful.

One of the clerks, Blondie, saw her and grinned. "Good morning, Michelle. You look, uh, nice today."

"Thanks. So do you," Michelle said automatically. Blondie was not usually one for chitchat. She must have had too much coffee.

"Hi, Michelle," sang out one of the lawyers, Consuelo. "I love your dark blue shirt. You, uh, wear a lot of dark colors, don't you?" This apparently amused her, and she turned away with a laugh.

Of course I do, at work, Michelle thought, puzzled. Dark colors hide the animal print bras I wear here. I only wear them because Jimmy likes them so much.

If I had my way, I'd go back to plain white or champagne-colored.

Legal was a heavily-female department. The staff mostly got along pretty well, but Michelle had tried to keep her private life private; afraid that if she got too chummy with the others, she'd let slip her relationship with Jimmy. So she hid most of her thoughts and feelings from them, and liked it that way. She didn't even know if she could get any support from them in a crisis…it all might end in derision. But no one knew about Jimmy, and they would never know. That thought was satisfying.

"Michelle—" That was Yvonne, the department head. She was a serious woman, and sounded serious now. "Michelle, the Director would like to see you in her office. Right now."

- - - - -

Cynthia Sumner's face was perfectly bland when Michelle came into the Director's outer office. "She's expecting you, Agent Lee," Cynthia said calmly. "Go on in."

Her knees knocking, Michelle knocked on Jenny's door meekly, and then opened it. What have I done wrong?? She was only summoned to the office to bring case files; there had been no mention of it this time.

"Agent Lee. Michelle. Please, have a seat." Jenny gestured to the oblong table, and sat in a chair next to Michelle.

"Is—Is there a problem, Director?"

Jenny looked startled, as if her train of thought had gone off the tracks. "Well, yes, perhaps. Michelle, gossip is an ugly thing. Have you heard…?"

"Heard, Director?"

"You haven't heard, then. Something popped up starting yesterday, I think, concerning you. Or rather, concerning your…undergarments." Jenny quickly told a horrified Michelle of the story that had cut through NCIS with bullet-speed: Michelle's love for animal-print underwear.

"Now, Michelle; I for one could not care less what you wear underneath your clothes. It should be no one's business. But someone clearly found this amusing, in a juvenile way, and is making trouble for you. I will not tolerate this in the workplace; it is cruel, demeaning, and potentially in violation of the sexual harassment regs. So, tell me who you think is behind this."

Michelle felt numb. There was only one person who knew what she wore! Why why why… "I have no idea, Director," she said, feeling the tears coming to her eyes. She could have named Jimmy, but why bother? She would take a higher moral ground, and confront him privately.

And then, if necessary, eviscerate him.