Prologue
"Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you." – Audrey Hepburn
Sheets of rain hazarded the countryside of Alsace, rinsing away the last reminders of snowfall. The pearl grey morning showed no hint of parting its clouds and making way for sunshine, but no one expected it to. The weather had been too nice this January, far too warm for anyone to complain about one soggy day. Everything, living or not, was allowed a time to flush away the past and prepare for a new future. Nature found its renewal in rain the same way people found solace in tears. It cleared the soul and allowed one to start with a new slate.
However, some sins were too dark to merely wash away.
Blair Waldorf sat in the backseat of the car, a shell of her former self. Water droplets pelted the windows until they rolled out of sight, mocking her without speaking a word. They would dry in streaks, no doubt, and someone would have to take the time to remove the remainder of their existence. It was a messy job, cleaning up the past. Someone had to do it.
She just didn't want to.
No. No, she was not a coward. She was a Waldorf, a force to be reckoned with, as unpredictable as the weather she was driving through. A gentle breeze one moment, a hurricane the next. No one told her who she was. She told them.
She told them…right?
"I don't want you anymore…and I can't see why anyone else would."
Blair squeezed her eyes tightly shut. Those words replayed like a tape in her mind, over and over, reminding her just how far she had fallen, how many people had decided she was worth absolutely nothing. Nate, all of her friends, Chuck…only Serena cared enough to stay by her side. Despite her friend's display of loyalty, Blair couldn't help but conclude that the only reason she even had her best friend was because she, herself, had been there through all of Serena's whoring around.
That wasn't fair, though. Blair knew there was more to their friendship than some tab kept between them, but a day's worth of self-reflection had her spiraling through all that she had done, and the shame was piling upwards. Yes, she had been an incredible friend to the old Serena, but to this new person who was constantly changing, improving herself…well. The truth hurt. Blair owed more than she would outright admit.
The choice to join her father and Roman in Le Lion had come easily. With no one to turn to, no one to stand by her, why shouldn't she move to France and start over? Escaping the pressure and the humiliation were the only things on her mind.
She hadn't expected Serena to try and stop her. Blair hadn't prepared herself for an argument; once again, with the girl she called her closest confidant. As her private jet was prepared and the last of her luggage was placed into the hold, she realized that she had two choices. Neither would be easy, and neither would make her happy.
She kissed her best friend's forehead and promised, no, swore she would return. Blair needed to get away. She needed time to clear her head and prepare herself for a return to the top. There was no way she could go back to Constance Billiard's so soon, without a plan, without her reputation and her confidence.
Starting over…it could be done. She just needed the strength to do it. Time could give her that, couldn't it?
The car window felt like ice as she pressed the curve of her cheek against it. No one, not the girls who had once idolized her, the pig she had succumbed to, nor the boy who had broken her heart—no one told her who she was. She would remember that and never, never forget.
Blair Waldorf never broke a promise and she never stayed down for too long.