So many things that you wish I knew,
but the story of us might be ending soon.
-::-::-
They were like seven sappy Taylor Swift songs. Except Jade doesn't like Taylor Swift, so she's an Emilie Autumn song instead.
-::-::-
I fake a smile so he won't see.
Trina is pretentious, yes. She is shallow, judgmental, vain, obnoxious, inconsiderate, selfish, flamboyant, and every other bad thing you can think of, yes. She's not even part of the gang at all, not really. She's just there.
Yes, maybe she is all of that. But most of all, she is overlooked.
You have to give her more credit; she's a really good actress. Because she knows that when she is crazy and ridiculous, it's easy for them (and for him) to wave her off. And it's not like she can go around flaunting her true feelings at the world. Talk about embarrassing.
Dig a little deeper—past the glitter, past the frank words—and you'll uncover Katrina Vega, the girl who is insanely jealous of Tori and Tori's spontaneous artistic talent when she is the one who's supposed to be talented, the girl who hangs out with Tori's friends because they're nicer than any of her own friends, and the girl who is desperately in love with Robbie for no apparent reason at all.
Okay, so maybe the kiss did mean something to her too. (Ventriloquists are the best kissers, you know.)
The worst part is that, at one point, he had wanted her too. But she and her fat ego had turned him down. If only she had known the rejection would drive him into someone else's arms oh so quickly, maybe things would have turned out differently. Perhaps she'll text him later.
He's the song, in the car, I keep singing, don't know why I do. He's the time taken up, but there's never enough and he's all I have to fall into.
-::-::-
He doesn't see the way your eyes light up when you smile.
Robbie and Cat are sitting on the hood of his car, listening to the radio's soft music coming from the open sunroof.
"You listen to country?" Cat asks. She squints her eyes and wrinkles her nose and she strains to hear the lyrics.
"I, uh, well…yeah." He could feel a sarcastic remark coming from Rex, probably bashing his manhood, so he quickly tosses the puppet into the backseat.
Cat nods along to the song, her left foot tapping to the beat and brushing against Robbie's every once in a while. She smiles and he thinks she's pretty radiant. "I like it," she says.
His phone vibrates and he pulls it out of his pocket.
"Who's the text from?" she asks, leaning over to read over his shoulder. He thinks she smells like peaches and it's nice.
"It's from Trina," he answers. After carelessly skimming the text (something about if he wanted to help her practice her lines), he gave her a short reply. Sorry, I can't. I'm going to a movie with Cat.
"Robbie," Cat laughs, poking his shoulder, "André is coming too."
"Right." He shrugs like it's no big deal. He lies back against the windshield and, to his delight, she lies down beside him. For a few moments more, they gaze at the stars as the radio continues to hum. For a few moments more, he can pretend that they're not parked outside André's house, waiting for him to get ready so they could catch the movie, but instead that they're just here together because they want to be. For a few moments more, he thinks to himself how beautiful and sweet and pure she is, and a little weird, but he's weird too, so they're perfect.
Then André finally comes out the door, yelling goodbye to his grandma over his shoulder, and Cat immediately jumps off the hood to greet André with a beaming smile.
"Alright, let's go," André says, walking past Cat with hardly a glance. "I call shotgun!"
"KK!" Cat waltzes to the back car door and climbs in.
"Serious?" Robbie mumbles to himself as André, not Cat, sits in the passenger seat beside him.
Later, when they hit a red light, Robbie looks at Cat in the rearview window. She is fixing Rex's hair and Robbie really thinks he's in love. But then Cat turns to look longingly at the guy in the passenger's seat. I love you, Robbie wants to tell her, I care about you more than he ever will. But then the light turns green and the words never make it out.
I just want to show you he don't even know you, he's never gonna love you like I want to.
-::-::-
He walks into the room, innocently overlooks the truth. Shouldn't a light go on? Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long?
Shoving the last of her books into her locker, Cat slams the door shut and turns to run to the prom committee meeting she's already late to. But she doesn't see Robbie approaching her so she walks smack into him, sending them both to the ground.
"Smooooth," Rex says.
"Sorry, Cat," Robbie apologizes.
"It's okay," she replies. She hears laughter coming from down the hall and lifts her head to see Beck and André walking towards them. Catching André's eye, Cat immediately sat up and fixed her magenta (not red) hair.
"So Cat, I wanted to ask you if you w—" Robbie begins to say.
Cat gasps. "You're bleeding!"
André and Beck's laughter gets louder until they reached the two fallen friends. Beck reaches down to help Robbie up and André reaches down to help Cat up. A small giggle escapes her lips.
"Dude, your nose is like gushing blood," Beck points out. "Maybe you should go to the nurse."
"But I—" By then, Beck had already dragged Robbie halfway to the door.
"You okay?" André asks Cat. He's so concerned about her she practically melts. She nods and they start to walk towards the classroom together.
"That was a funny movie last night," she says. She can still clearly remember when half-way through the movie, Robbie had to go to the bathroom, and when Cat and André were alone, she rested her head on his shoulder and he didn't move away.
"Yeah, like the part when the fat guy…" They both crack up; the sound of their laughter is music to her ears. The two of them used to be the best of friends, you know. Before Tori, before Jade, even before Beck and Robbie, there was Cat-and-André. Now, it's hard to be Cat-and-André without being Cat-and-André-and-everybody-else-too. And sometimes, Cat realizes it's just not fair. She's known André the longest. She knows him the best. She can recite his favorite songs, favorite color, the reason he lives with his grandmother, and his Team Edward/Team Jacob preference all in a single breath. Tori probably doesn't even know his middle name.
They walk past a pink poster saying "Valentine's Day is in two weeks! Don't wait, roses for sale starting next Monday!" She turns to André and finds him looking at the same thing. Hope begins to swell inside her. It's been a dream of hers to hear André (or any boy really, but especially André) exclaim, "Hey Valentine, will you be my valentine?"
But instead, he says, "Hey Vega, wait up!" He waves to Tori down the hall. "See you later, Cat." And then he's running to catch up with Tori.
Tori is her best friend and Cat could never despise her, so to keep life simple she just keeps her mouth shut. But she loves André with all her heart. She may not understand a lot of things, but what she really doesn't get is how someone like André could be loved—so much that it hurt— and not even realize it.
He stands there then walks away. My god, if I could only say, I'm holding every breath for you.
-::-::-
Hey, isn't this easy?
"Hey Vega, wait up!"
André bids a hasty farewell to his red-haired friend and jogs to catch up with Tori. They walk side by side into the parking lot, arms swinging freely at their sides, fingers brushing against each other.
"I don't really want to go home yet," Tori says, once she reaches her car.
His car is parked beside hers, so he leans against the side of his car and grins. "Well, what do you want to do?"
She bites her lower lip as she thinks this through. It's the cutest thing André has ever seen. "What about…fro-yo?" she suggests, tilting her head sideways and smiling pleadingly.
He laughs and says, "Sure." But what he doesn't mention is how he would agree to anything she ever asked.
"You're the best friend ever!" Tori exclaims before entering her car.
It's just an expression. Tori says it all the time, to André, to Cat, even to Jade (who usually scowls in response.) You're the best friend ever! Yet André always cringes microscopically because yes, he is the greatest friend ever. He was Tori's first friend here at Hollywood Arts and he could be so much more than her best friend. They're the perfect match; he's known it since the beginning.
Together, they shine. So why doesn't she see it?
Ten minutes later, André arrives at the frozen yogurt parlor and Tori is already in line. She orders strawberry like he knew she would, and he orders peach, and when he pays for them both, she only gives him a look but doesn't stop him.
He is putting the change into his wallet when the guy at the counter leans over and whispers to André, "Damn. She's hot."
"Yeah, she is," André deadpanned, not liking where this is going.
The guy eyes Tori up and down, then gives a satisfied smirk. "She's not your girlfriend, is she?"
"Um, yes, she is actually." André puts a spoonful of peach frozen yogurt into his mouth and walks away.
"The guy at the counter was totally checking you out," he announces once he sits down across from Tori. "And he asked if you were my girlfriend."
She laughs. (It's pretty charming.) "Did he really? What'd you say?"
He scoops another spoonful of yogurt into his mouth. Is this it? Is he finally going to confess his feelings? It's over fro-yo, so that's pretty romantic, right? She is still staring at him with this knowing look in her eyes, and maybe, just maybe, he's finally won over her heart. "Well…I said—"
Tori's phone rings and interrupts him. She gives him an apologetic smile and answers it. "Hello?...Jade? Wait, I can't understand what you're saying…" After a short conversation, she hits the end button on her phone and beams the biggest smile on her face. "Jade is going to be in a movie!"
"What?"
Taking a few spoonfuls of yogurt, she launches into an animated discussion about how Jade got a call from a guy who wanted to produce Jade's play in a legit theater, and how the guy also has connections and got Jade an audition for a new movie. And it was all thanks to Tori, who had found Mrs. Li to fund Jade's play. André adds in a few comments now and then, but he realizes the perfect, romantic, fro-yo confession moment is already lost and forgotten. His golden opportunity had slipped away.
A week later, Jade officially got the movie role. Another week later, right before she leaves to start shooting the film, she dumps Beck. On Valentine's Day. Which André thinks is just brutal.
André also figures two weeks is long enough to mope about how he's an idiot and didn't ask Tori out when he had the chance. So André buys flowers and a giant "WILL U BE MINE?" teddy bear and rings the doorbell to Tori's house.
Trina opens the door with a surprised look. "Tori isn't here. She's over at Beck's."
He sets the teddy bear on the ground and curses his horrible timing. He knows, right then, that he has lost Tori, possibly for good, because how could he compete with Beck? What's worse, André almost had her, too.
Together, they shine. So why doesn't she see it?
Standing by and waiting at your backdoor, all this time how could you not know, baby, you belong with me?
-::-::-
The playful conversation starts. I counter all your quick remarks, like passing notes in secrecy.
"My eyes hurt from watching four movies in a row."
"Actually, I think it was five."
"Whatever. And scoot over, won't you? I'm going to fall off the bed. Haven't you ever heard of hospitality?"
"Hey, I didn't ask you to come over in the first place. You were the one who barged into my RV with a crap-load of DVDs, a tub of rocky road ice cream, and two giant spoons. You watched those movies with me on my laptop, crammed on my tiny bed, all on your free will."
"Well, excuse me for trying to be a good friend. Hmph."
"Tori. Tori. I was kidding. Don't leave."
"Alright, I guess I'll stay."
"Yay."
"…"
"…"
"Beck? Are you going to be okay? With the whole Jade thing?"
"Of course I'll be fine. I'm happy for her. I mean, yeah, it kinda blows to have Jade break up with me on Valentine's Day after we've been together for two years. I also feel like a fool for taking our relationship seriously when she obviously didn't."
"You're a great guy, Beck Oliver. Maybe Jade's the fool for not seeing it."
"Thanks. And thank you for coming over uninvited and watching movies with me."
"I wasn't going to let you spend Valentine's Day alone, cooped up and crying in a corner."
"Okay, first of all, I was not crying. And second of all, it's two in the morning—technically, it's not Valentine's Day anymore."
"So I'm not obliged to be here then!"
"Haha, very funny. Hey wait, you have two missed calls and a text. They're all from André. He says, 'Trina said you're over at Beck's house. Call me when you get back.'"
"Oops. He called like four hours ago. I feel like a bad person. Oh well, I should probably go home, since it's getting late. I'll just call André when I get home."
"You could stay here, you know. If you want."
"And what? Sleep in the fish tank?"
"My bed is not that small…I definitely just implied I wanted you sleep in my bed with me. This is awkward."
"Oh, Beck. Goodnight, I'll see you later."
"Tori, wait. I wasn't kidding that time. I mean, you don't have to stay. But I wish you would."
Tori pauses with one hand on the doorknob. When she turns around, Beck is standing there, his face two inches apart from hers. It's still dark, but she can see just enough. He's gorgeous. Tori never allowed herself to think that when he was with Jade, but now she can think whatever the hell she wants.
And suddenly, he's kissing her and it's exactly how she always dreamed it would be. She's not going to lie, she did plan on something of this variety to happen when she drove over to his house earlier. (Watch movies with Beck, eat ice cream with Beck, make Beck feel better, make out with Beck.) But something feels off. It feels too rushed. It feels like not enough time has passed since his lips last touched Jade's.
"Beck…we…" She can't find the heart to say the words we shouldn't or the words not yet.
"Isn't this what you wanted?" he asks between urgent kisses. "Isn't this what you've always wanted?"
Yes, it is.
His fingers get tangled in her hair, his mouth attacks hers, and his arm wraps around her waist and pulls her back towards the bed. Tori wants to enjoy this, she really does, yet she can't help but wonder if Beck is kissing her because he finally feels the same way, or if he's wishing she was Jade instead.
Please don't be in love with someone else. Please don't have somebody waiting on you.
-::-::-
She's charming and endearing and I'm comfortable.
Beck introduced Tori to his parents some night in March, right around the time he decided to actually ask her to be his girlfriend.
"I like this one," Beck's mom had said, later that night. "You hold onto her, alright?"
And he has every intention to. It's just…
It's hard to forget a girl like Jade West, you know?
Tori is no Jade, and he doesn't want her to be. Tori is truly the sweetest thing and never fails at getting a smile on his face, even on the gloomiest of days. When he says "I love you", she always says it back (and unlike Jade, she means it too.) With Tori, he's content.
Beck's lucky to have Tori, he knows that. But there is still a shirt that smells like Jade in the back of his closet, probably because he refuses to wear it, therefore refusing to wash it. Over the months, the very existence of Jade has faded into nothing but memories, and he has gotten rid of everything that reminded him of her, except for that shirt. He doesn't know why. It's like he can't let go of all of her.
Apparently, right after Jade finished shooting her first movie, she got signed for a recording label as well as another movie, filmed in New York. The movie trailer hasn't even come out yet, but Beck knows Jade will soon be on every magazine cover across the country. Because she's different and blunt and caustic, and somehow that combination of characteristics makes everyone love her. Everyone, including him.
After having dinner with Tori, Cat, and Robbie—Robbie called it a double date, Cat laughed because she thought he was kidding—Beck takes Tori to the park and the two of them lie down on the grass. They stay silent for a few minutes before Tori rests her head on his chest and asks, "What are you thinking about right now?"
He is thinking about Jade, and the last words she ever spoke to him before she left him, forever. "This was fun," she said, gesturing between the two of them, "we should do it again some time." Beck still isn't sure if she meant the two of them dating or the two of them holding hands or just the two of them in general.
"We can still be together, right? Even if you don't go to this school anymore, even if you become famous," he said. He was so oblivious for thinking Jade believed in long-distance relationships.
She only smiled, kissed his cheek, turned around and walked away. She didn't even look back.
He was her temporary when she was his forever.
Tori raises her head to look at Beck. He realizes he still hasn't answered her. What is he thinking about right now?
"Nothing," he lies.
You were wild and crazy, just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated, got away by some mistake and now I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain.
-::-::-
And I was far too tired to stay here anymore.
Did you really expect Jade to stay?
The day she and her new agent boarded the plane to go to the set of her new movie was the happiest day of her life. It's not that she hated living in LA; she loved her home and her family and her friends. But that was only the starting block, and in order to begin her new life, she must bid farewell to her old one. It's not that she doesn't want to keep contact with Cat or Tori or Beck (especially Beck); it's just easier that way. It's not that she's heartless; she's a realist.
You have to let go before you can be free.
And Jade is always one step ahead.
I'm outside your picture frame and the glass is breaking now.
-::-::-
Trina likes Robby, who has his eyes on Cat, who loves André, who needs Tori, who adores Beck, who misses Jade, who is rising to the top and never looking back down.
Always yearning for someone just out of reach. Too stubborn to turn around and see their happy ending standing right behind them. Forever waiting for the next best thing.
I don't know what to say since the twist of fate when it all broke down
and the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
The end.
Songs used: "The Story of Us", "Teardrops on My Guitar", "Invisible", "I'd Lie", "Belong With Me", "Enchanted", and "The Way I Loved You" by Taylor Swift and "What If" by Emilie Autumn.
I realized I had to write a Victorious oneshot, just to get it out of my system, before I could focus on my other stories—like continuing Black Hole (lol, sorry guys) and fixing the quasi-disaster of Around the Campfire (LOL, SORRY GUYS). Oh, and the April 29th epilogue. Yeah, I should probably get on that... :P
Fyi, I tots ship Beck/Tori, if you couldn't already tell by the biased length of the Beck/Tori section. "Enchanted" needs to be their official song. Just saying. What was your favorite section of this?