Becoming Family

(Set shortly after „The power of Albion")

It was a successful day. They had only been on watch at the road for a short time when a merchant rode into one of their traps. He had dealt well in Nottingham market, so his saddlebags were now full of silver as he made his way back home to Lincoln. Unfortunately enough for him, he hadn't yet heard that Robin Hood was back in Sherwood.

Now he reined in his horse, cursing, when a ragged-looking man with a sword in his hand appeared in front of him, as if he'd just grown out of the ground. Next to him stood a young man with his hood drawn up, his bow at the ready.

Behind the horse a giant strode out of the undergrowth, leaning casually on his quarterstaff. To the right of the merchant a Saracen smiled up to him while to his left, an auburn-haired girl and a fat monk aimed their arrows at him. A red-haired boy began to search his saddlebags, grinning.

The merchant began to curse heavily at the outlaws. The young man in front of him drew back his hood, revealing fair hair, shaking his head in a mock warning.

"I say, language! There's a lady present. Otherwise you could give us the idea that your horse and your clothes could be of some worth, too." With gritted teeth the merchant let the boy take two bags of silver coins out of his saddlebags. Then the boy took the moneybag dangling from the merchant's belt as well. When this was done, the young man and the swordfighter stepped aside. The young man bowed.

"The sheriff will hear about this!" the merchant menaced.

"I do hope so!" retorted the young man.

Laughing, the outlaws withdrew back to the forest, leaving the merchant on the road fuming with anger.

Only a few moments later they were swallowed up by the dense forest.

X X X

Near the street in a hidden dip, the outlaws had set up camp. They were planning to move deeper into the forest in the evening, but this place was ideal for a day camp. Tuck and Marion were busy counting the money they had taken from the merchant, Nasir stood guard, Much lit a little fire, for it was still cold, John handed out bread to everybody, Scarlet made fun of the merchant. Robin sat on the ground musing.

After only these few weeks the men were once again working together as if they'd never split up. And Marion, who had just recently returned to the forest recently, blended in perfectly. Robin wondered where his place was in this perfect structure. He wasn't sure he could blend in, for once because of his background. Until now he had tried almost desperately not to be noticed for special behaviour or speech.

And yet there was a gap between them.

Their living together hadn't yet become natural enough to be easy. Since Marion had joined them some things had become easier though. After all she knew both sides, had once been in the same situation.

There was something else yet that bothered Robin. Ever since they'd been together in the forest, he couldn't help noticing how much the others missed Loxley. He noticed it from the looks they exchanged when he, the Earl's son, didn't know something a peasant learned in early childhood. He heard it in countless stories about raids past or adventures the men had shared. Marion being with them had added a new dimension to this feeling: at certain places they passed on their journeys he sensed sadness surrounding her like a heavy cloak. At these times he dearly wanted to take her in his arms, comforting her.

He was aware that he was trying to walk in another man's shoes, live another man's life. He desperately wished to make it his own – he just hadn't any clue how to achieve that.

Robin was abruptly pulled out of his thoughts by Scarlet, who nudged him with the tip of his boot and said "Could your royal highness move his noble bum; I've gotta get past."

Annoyed, Robin rolled his eyes.

Marion looked up from the silver coins, groaning. "Oh Will, leave it!"

Will grinned cheekily, stepped over Robin's feet and disappeared.

Much murmured "Robin wouldn't have let him talk like that."

"I am not Robin of Loxley!"

He realized at once that these words had come out sharper than he had intended.

Much looked at him like a wounded deer; Marion's eyes turned dark.

He got up and left.

After having walked for a while he found himself at the foot of a tall oak tree on a hill. From here you had a wonderful view over the forest and the road. He sat down leaning his back against the tree staring in the distance.

Robin didn't know how long he had been sitting there when he sensed somebody coming. It was Marion. He watched her warily. Some paces away from him she stopped.

"Robert, won't you come back with me? Much is awfully sorry."

She was the only one to still call him Robert. Even he himself had started to think of himself as 'Robin'.

He shook his head.

"Much shouldn't be sorry. He hasn't done anything wrong."

She asked "What is it then? Is it because of Will? You shouldn't worry about that; that's just the way Will is."

He waved it off.

She sat down, waiting, intently examining the man in front of her, from the tousled fair hair to his mud-caked boots. He didn't much resemble the fastidious Earl's son any more.

Carefully he began "Perhaps it's Will; perhaps not. You're a family and you behave like one. You're all real. I'm not. I feel like I'm acting. You all wish I was somebody else; and try as I might, I can't be him! I'm trying, but I can't."

"Stop trying. You're right: You can't be him, but you are chosen: you're Herne's son, too."

"I know. I just don't know if that's enough."

Marion nodded encouragingly.

"It is. They trust you – we trust you. Don't hide what you are. You have our respect already. You earned it. Not as Robert of Huntingdon, the Earl's son. Not as what you are, but as who you are. Now you're earning our friendship, and Will's impoliteness and Much's thoughtlessness is a part of it – that's how it works in a family. You're an Earl's son. That's how you've grown up. Nobody can take that from you. But now you're the hooded man and that's the only important thing."

She took a deep breath.

"And what's more: we need you. In a way you are like him. You keep us together. When he… was gone, we couldn't stay together any more. It just didn't work. One after the other left.

Then you came and brought us back together again – and it's working! We will owe you for that forever."

Robin looked up, watching her.

"Thank you, my lady."

Marion smiled.

"Yes. That's what I am. Come on. Your family's waiting."

Robin smiled at her gratefully. Then he got up, reaching out to help her up. Even when she stood, he didn't let go of her. Hand in hand they walked back to the camp.

When they reached the camp, the outlaws awaited them. Much came forward.

"Robin, I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen," he spluttered.

Robin waved this off, too.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about, Much. You didn't do anything wrong. It's me who must ask for your forgiveness. I was rash; I shouldn't have scolded you like that."

Both men grinned at each other like little boys. Then Robin turned to Will who was leaning casually against a tree, arms crossed, legs outstretched.

"Ah, your pettishness is 'ere again," he grinned broadly.

Robin smiled sweetly at Will.

"Yes, Will, I'm here again. I would appreciate it if you could just take a long turn with your flat soldier's feet next time, so that I won't have to move my noble bum."

Everybody laughed, Scarlet and Robin himself the loudest.

"Robin, what are we going to do with the money?" Tuck asked while Robin sat down.

"How much is it?"

"One hundred silver marks in each saddlebag and fifty-three in the moneybag – that's two hundred and fifty-three silver marks."

John whistled. "That's a lot of silver!"

Robin looked at each of the outlaws in turn.

"What shall we do with this much silver? What do you think?"

Tuck said "The ox of the miller of Aldbury has died two month ago. Now he has to pull his plough himself."

Marion said "Thomas of Leaford hasn't been able to care for his family properly since his right hand was chopped off for poaching last year."

"There's a young widow in Elsdon. 'er 'usband died last winter. Now 'er twins got ill," Will said somewhat embarrassed. He never wanted to be considered weak.

Robin smiled. "All right. We have a long way to go. We should leave now."

Right at that moment Nasir came into the camp.

"Sir Richard. On the road."

Marion made a face.

Tuck said sympathetically "You don't have to talk to him if you don't want to, little flower. We can stay here and he won't even know we're this close."

Marion sighed, shaking her head.

"No, I must talk to him. At least I must try to make him understand…"

Robin looked at her enquiringly. Then he told her they would all come with her.

Marion waved her hand defensively, opening her mouth to speak, but Robin cut in "Family! Have you forgotten already?"

Together, the outlaws walked to the road.

Here, Sir Richard had reined in his horse. Now he slowly rode along the road. From time to time he shouted his daughter's name.

Suddenly he heard her voice behind him.

"I'm here, father."

She stood in the middle of the road, the outlaws behind her. Her father turned his horse around and got off.

"Marion!"

Father and daughter stood in silence for a while.

Finally Robin suggested going to the camp. It was too dangerous to stay on the open road for too long.

When they had all gathered at the camp, Sir Richard got directly to the point "I've come to take you home."

Scarlet growled, Little John and Much muttered indignantly.

Marion raised her hand.

"Father, I can't. The Sheriff has outlawed me. Do you think he would hesitate to get me out of Leaford Grange?"

"The king pardoned you once, he will pardon you again."

Marion retorted fiercely "To be able to buy that pardon, you had to sell the village of Leaford to the Sheriff. I don't want one single man, one single woman or one single child to suffer just to buy me a fake safety!"

Sir Richard said helplessly "But you know how this is going to end!"

Marion turned her head. "Yes, I know," she whispered. There were tears in her eyes.

Scarlet, who sat next to her, put his arm around her protectively. Little John stroked her shoulder. Both men glared at the crusader.

Robin, who sat at Marion's other side, put his hand on hers. "Lady Marion has a home with us for as long as she wishes," he declared firmly. Gratefully Marion looked at her friends.

Sir Richard looked at the young man thoughtfully. Robin met his gaze.

"So that's how it is," said Sir Richard in the end. He sighed, slumping down in his place. He seemed to have lost all strength. Suddenly he looked old and lonely.

Marion ran to her father, threw her arms around him, burying her face on his chest. Protectively, Sir Richard put his arms around her.

"Don't cry," he said. "Your life seems irrevocably bound to Robin Hood. Who am I to stand in the way of fate?"

He got up, pulling Marion up with him, and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Try to stay alive."

He kissed his daughter's forehead and turned to his horse.

Robin got up, too.

"We'll take you to the road, Sir Richard," he said. "Tuck, Much, you take the bags."

At the road the outlaws bid Sir Richard farewell. He got on his horse and rode away without a further word or a look back.

Marion couldn't stand it. She called out to her father, running after him for some paces. Sir Richard slowly lifted his right hand to greet her, but didn't turn back.

Longingly Marion stretched out her hand.

"Father!" she whispered. "He'll never forgive me."

Tears ran down her face. Little John went to her, pulling her in an embrace she almost vanished in.

"It'll be alright, lass," he said.

For a moment Marion remained in his embrace, then she straightened and wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Come on, let's go," she said.

In a rather low mood they made their way to Elsdon. They only cheered up a bit when they arrived. Joan, the young widow Will had told them about, just couldn't believe that they'd come to help her.

When Robin gave her the money she burst into tears. She told them that Janet and Thomas of Elsdon had given her herbs to cure her children. The outlaws remembered these two well. Janet had told her that her children needed better food to get well again, but Joan had no money to buy it. It had been a long, hard winter.

Marion sat next to Joan, cradling one of the children in her arms, while Joan held the other one. Suddenly the young widow handed her child over to Will who held it as if he were holding a dragon by the tail.

Marion chuckled.

What came next embarrassed the outlaws more than just a bit. Joan threw herself to the ground and literally kissed Robin's feet in the dirty boots, clutching his ankles tightly.

Robin stood as if rooted to the spot.

"No, please, don't do this," he stuttered looking helplessly at John, Tuck and Nasir.

Tuck bent down to lift the woman up.

"Don't lower yourself. We're no better than you." Scarlet opened his mouth for a remark. Marion hissed severely at him and he closed his mouth hastily.

Tuck said "We've only been at the right place at the right time with the right means to… convince somebody to share some of his riches." The outlaws grinned broadly at these words.

"I don't know how to thank you," sobbed Joan. "How about 'thank you and Herne protect you'?" grinned Much.

With many Blessings and Thank yous, the outlaws made their way to Aldbury. The miller of Aldbury was speechless and stood as if petrified when Nasir gave him the money. The men and Marion used this to make a fast retreat to the forest. Only after they had vanished in the forest the miller came to life again.

"God bless you, Robin Hood!" he murmured, slowly walking back to his mill. Next market day in Nottingham he would buy the best ox he could get.

On their way to Leaford Robin realized how quiet Marion was. He sensed that she was still bothered by her father's visit. He hated seeing her so sad. She hung back behind the others. She even stayed behind Tuck, in spite of him stopping more than once, complaining how hot it was today and how his feet hurt.

Robin let himself fall behind until he was next to Marion.

He took her hand.

Marion looked up.

"Smile a bit for me," he said "You're so beautiful when you smile."

"Only then?" she teased.

"No, you're always beautiful. Please, don't be so sad. I don't want you to be sad."

She smiled at him.

Then she said "There are a lot of things I have to think about, Robin. I'm not very good company right now. Forgive me."

Robin understood that he was being dismissed. He took some long strides to come a bit further forward again. Suddenly he realized that she had just called him 'Robin'.

He stopped with dead and turned around, staring at her.

Tuck, who had sensed that something was wrong, waddled towards him. Marion passed the two men. Still Robin was staring at her.

"Robin, is there something wrong?" Tuck asked worriedly.

"She just called me 'Robin'!" Robin explained. Slowly a broad grin spread on his face.

"So what? That's who you are," replied Tuck, "Come on. I'll be happy when we will have been to Leaford and are back to our camp." In spite of his words he tapped Robin's shoulder and went on.

X X X

Leaford was a medium-sized village not far from Leaford Grange. Up until about one year ago it had belonged to the lands of Sir Richard of Leaford. To pay for Marion's pardon, Leaford and all its inhabitants had been sold to the Sheriff of Nottingham, who had immediately started to introduce stricter punishments. Many of the villagers had been executed or maimed in the past year; even more had been flogged or punished in some other way. Sir Guy of Gisburne was very inventive when it came to punishments.

Thomas of Leaford hadn't been able to stand hearing his children cry of hunger any more after he had been forced to give away everything he had to pay his taxes.

He had gone to the forest to at least catch a rabbit. There he fell into the hands of foresters. The judgement had been enforced at once.

Thank god the stump hadn't become infected. Thomas had survived. But in the following winter he had often wished he had died. He couldn't farm his fields any more. He didn't know how to pay his taxes. His wife worked in the fields in addition to all the other work she had.

He wasn't able to help her.

And it had been to no good.

Two of his children had starved during winter.

The other villagers of Leaford hadn't been able to help them; they didn't have anything for themselves.

Now Thomas stared unbelievingly at the bag full of money in his hand.

"It's enough for the taxes and for something to eat," said Marion gently. Robin added "I wish we could have helped you earlier."

"I can't take it," Thomas muttered.

"Do take it. We don't need it," Robin laughed.

"There's more where this came from," grinned Much.

Will added with a grim smile that the one they had taken it from wouldn't need money any more.

Appalled, Thomas stared at him.

Tuck looked angrily at Will, assuring Thomas that their 'donor' was safe and sound on his way back home.

Thomas shook his head stubbornly.

"I can't take it anyway!"

Now Thomas' wife pushed forward. Feistily she put her fists to her hips.

"So you can't take it, eh? But I can! Cursed be the men's pride! I don't want to see more of my children starve!"

She looked at each of the outlaws in turn.

"Blessed be all of you! And three times blessed be my lady Marion! May your life be filled with luck!"

Marion smiled at the woman sadly.

Thomas' eldest son, a boy of about nine years, came forward. He carried a small cask.

Winking, the woman said "We can never give back what you do for the people of Sherwood.

But I beg you; take this cask as a thank you. The people say my ale isn't bad at all."

Robin shook his head, but Will elbowed him, stepped forward and took the cask.

Robin admitted defeat when he saw how happy the woman was.

The outlaws waved goodbye and vanished into the forest again. There would still be a long way to go till they reached camp.

X X X

Night had fallen. The outlaws had retreated to their camp deep in Sherwood Forest. It had already been late when they had returned to camp; too late to go hunting. So they had to make do with a stew of jerky and vegetables from their stock, supplemented by a piece of bread. But as for John, Will and Tuck, the ale made up for everything. Relaxed and comfortable after a long day, the outlaws sat around the campfire. Each one of them held a full mug. With most of them it contained ale, only Nasir was drinking a mint tea. They had long since ceased to tease him for not drinking. Not that anybody was foolish enough to take on Nasir in earnest.

Robin sat on a tree trunk they had pulled over to the fire. Next to him Will sat on the ground, his back resting comfortably against the tree trunk, his arms outspread, his legs outstretched. To his left, Little John sat cross-legged on a piece of deer hide. On a second piece of deer hide lay Nasir, resting on his left elbow. Next to him sat Tuck who had wrapped himself up in a blanket. To Tuck's left Marion crouched by the fire. Much completed the circle. He sat leaning against the beech tree under which they had made camp. He held his beloved flute, from time to time playing a little tune for them.

Robin comfortably rested his elbows on his thighs, idly turning his mug in his hands. He was watching Marion who sat on the other side of the fire, looking into the flames, listening to John who told a funny tale about his former life in Hathersage.

As if she had sensed him watching her, she looked up.

He smiled at her, raising his mug to her.

She smiled back.

John had finished his story by now. He turned to Robin. "Robin, it's your turn now to tell a story."

Robin raised his hands apprehensively. He felt he wasn't a very good storyteller. The others raised wild protest. Everyone had to tell something. It was Robin's turn now. Robin gave up.

"What is there to tell you?"

"I'd like to hear something about your life at the castle," Much said hopefully. The other men murmured in agreement. "Have you been to many tournaments?" Much insisted.

"I think so," began Robin. His father had been an enthusiastic contestant in tournaments. Only recently had he given it up. Now he spent most of his time hunting with falcons.

Robin himself had fought in tournaments, too; but it sounded much better than it actually was. Most of the time there were only two big groups of knights storming at each other. Everything one could do was not to let oneself be taken off one's horse. Normally you lost track at the first rush.

"Afterwards, you have your wounds tended and take a hot bath so that your bruises don't get too bad."

Tuck nodded. "And then it's feasting time." He too had seen some tournaments in his time as the Sheriff's chaplain.

Scarlet said dreamily "I bet at these feasts there are a lot of posh meals, like candied violets and so on."

Robin grinned.

"Do you just eat at such feasts?" Much wanted to know.

"No," Robin answered, "there's also a lot of talking, listening to music, storytelling and dancing. Isn't it just like that when you feast?"

"Yes, but Normans dancing like us? I can't imagine it," said Much.

Robin decided to show them. He asked Much wether he could pick up a tune if he whistled it to him. Much felt offended. He could play anything!

The melody Robin whistled was slow and solemn. Much could pick it up quickly.

Robin got up, took a bow in front of Marion, smiled and asked "My Lady, will you dance with me?"

Marion closed her eyes taking a deep breath. Much played a Pavane – the Pavane, the one it had all started with.

All the others wanted Marion to dance.

Robin stood in front of her, reaching out to her, smiling.

Marion sighed and gave up. How could Robin do this to her? Again Marion heard Gisburne's cruel voice in her mind, "Did you dance in Sherwood… Lady Wolfshead?"

On a somewhat plain and free area of ground Robin and Marion turned in the complicated figures of the Pavane.

When they finished the dance the outlaws applauded. Lost in thought, John said "Well, that was a nice one!"

Scarlet nodded but couldn't stop himself from adding "But still I like our Saxon dances better. All this turning and standing on tiptoes…"

Everyone laughed.

Marion whispered to Robin, so low that the others weren't able to hear it "Shall I punch you now, too?" She didn't smile; she wasn't joking. Robin preferred not to answer.

Then it was time for sleeping. Scarlet, John and Tuck had had the lion's share of the ale, and also Much had had more than was good for him. These four definitely wouldn't be able to stand guard tonight. Marion, Nasir and Robin drew lots who was to take which watch. At first Robin hadn't wanted to allow Marion to take watches at night alone, but she had insisted on doing the same work as the men. Nasir drew the first watch, Robin the second one. Marion would be on watch in the small hours of morning.

It was deep in the night when Nasir woke Robin up.

Robin sat down at the fire preparing for his watch while Nasir wrapped himself in his blankets. Finally everything was nearly quiet again. Was he only imagining it or did Will and John snore louder tonight than they usually did? Probably yes. The ale. Robin grinned.

Much murmured in his sleep, waving his hands as if to shoo away flies.

Robins gaze wandered over to Marion. She was frowning, clenching her fists tightly on top of her blanket.

Robin remembered how she had come after him today, how he had held her hand, how she had called him 'Robin' for the first time… He sighed contently.

Today had been a good day after all, hadn't it?

As if to answer his thoughts Marion said "No!"

Robin looked up. Marion was still sound asleep. She was talking in her sleep.

"…No, no… Father! … all this blood. Owen is a monster! …I'm all alone… nobody will help me… these eyes… the skull… No!"

Robin got up and walked over to Marion. Undecidedly he knelt down beside her. Should he wake her up?

Then her dream seemed to change.

"Robin… Robin… let me stay with you, oh please, let me stay…" She started to cry.

Robin knew he was not the Robin she cried for. He took her hand anyway. With the other hand he started to stroke her hair gently.

"Shhhh, it's all right. I'm here. Owen can't harm you any more. I'm here. I'll take care of you." He kept whispering nonsense just to calm her down.

Finally she murmured almost inaudibly 'Robin' one last time, gripped his hand tighter and relaxed.

Robin cowered beside the sleeping Marion, holding her hand, feeling increasingly silly. What was more, he couldn't reach the firewood. He would never let go of her hand all the same – not for the world.

The fire burnt down, it got cold.

Finally Robin loosened his hand out of Marion's grip to get up and rekindle the fire. Almost immediately she began to whimper. So he crouched down again holding her hand.

By and by he got uncomfortable. Perhaps he could at least try to sit differently…

He woke up when the first rays of sunlight fell into his eyes. A root dug itself painfully into his back. He sat up.

Marion was gone. Some moments later she returned, her hair still wet. When she saw that Robin was awake she watched him strangely, but said nothing.

But from this day on she always put her sleeping furs next to his.