Here's a silly little fic I thought I'd write as a sort of filler while I figure out the rest of WtLF.
"…is he wearing pajamas tied around his waist?"
—
—
"WHAT?"
Sasuke and Sakura looked back, startled by Naruto's sudden exclamation.
His face was a stricken mask of utter horror and disbelief, jaw hanging open in an impressive rendition of The Scream.
"What? What's wrong?" Sakura asked worriedly, tugging Sasuke around as she started towards the other boy.
"Naruto?"
Said boy had a book in his hands, and it was precisely this book that was the source of his distress. He seemed to be frozen, eyes wide and glued to whatever it was he was reading.
He uttered another sound of despair that sounded somewhere between a croak and a dying dolphin.
Having had enough of Naruto's nonsensical sounds, Sasuke snapped irritably, "Would you just—"
"YOU!" Naruto suddenly shrieked at Sasuke mid-sentence, causing both Sasuke and Sakura to jump slightly as his attention was suddenly turned towards the handsome angular face, blue eyes crazed and wild. A muscle ticked under his eye.
Sasuke blinked.
"YOU—YOU TRAITOR!"
Several seconds of stunned silence passed.
Heaving a long-suffering sigh and rolling his eyes heavenward, Sasuke could feel the beginnings of a Naruto-induced migraine yet again. "What", he bit out, "on earth are you talking about?"
"I—I can't believe you! You—you—" Now he looked like he was going to start blubbering any second now.
Starting to get worried, Sakura tugged her hand from where it was tangled with Sasuke's, ignoring his noise of protest and annoyance.
"Now what did I do?" muttered Sasuke crossly, running a hand over his face as Sakura tried to get Naruto's attention.
"Naruto? Naruto—calm down—what's wrong? What are you reading? Here, let me see."
But before she could get any closer to the book, the blonde spitfire had all but thrown himself at Sasuke, shoving the book into his nose in the process.
"LOOK AT THIS!"
"…"
Shoving Naruto off him as Sakura stared, Sasuke hissed, "What the fuck?"
"LOOK AT THIS! 'The last Uchiha, the avenger, was going to destroy Konoha.' WHAT THE FUCK, MAN?"
Sasuke just looked utterly perplexed. Snatching the book from him, his eyes skimmed the pages.
"Hey, is that me?"
"What? Where?" Now Sakura was behind him, chin hooked over his shoulder. "…why are you wearing a purple ass-bow?"
"YES, THAT'S YOU, YOU—YOU—JERK-FACED DOUCHEBAG! AND LOOK WHAT IT SAYS!"
But Sasuke was not able to look at whatever it was that had incensed Naruto so, since not a second later, the latter had ripped the book away from him and was now proceeding to beat him with it.
"YOU!"
"OW, hey, what the fu—"
"ASSHOLE!"
"Hey, stop hitting his face!"
"I CAN'T BELIEVE— "
"WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT ALREADY?"
"—THAT YOU WOULD BETRAY YOUR VILLAGE!" Naruto finished with an earsplitting shriek.
Rubbing his head, Sasuke scowled and retaliated by hitting Naruto upside the head. "Now what are you going on about?"
"THE BOOK, SASU-JERK! THE BOOK!" As if to emphasize his point, Naruto shoved the book at him again and jabbed a finger at the pages angrily.
At his glare, Naruto elaborated. "It's a series, Saucecakes. It's titled Naruto—because I'm so awesome—and we're ninjas in it! You're a douchebag-antisocial-jerk as usual—still have the duck-butt hair, too—but I," he paused for dramatic effect, "am the hero!"
The other two just glared at him some more—and Sasuke was displaying some rather worrisome murderous intent, if his glare was anything to go by.
Hastening to his point, Naruto rushed on. "Anyway. So you have this whole angsty thing going for you, blah blah blah, abandon the village to follow some weird pedophile-snakey guy—hey, I think they have your personality and everything pretty down pat in this! Except for the following a pedophile bit. I hope. So anyway, blah blah, and then a couple (hundred) chapters later, you show up again…ONLY TO PROCLAIM YOU'RE GOING TO DESTROY KONOHA AND KILL US ALL!"
Sakura winced as Narutos' voice rose a couple decibels and cracked at the end. Glancing back at Sasuke, she cringed at his homicidal aura and decided she may as well attempt to salvage the damage. Maybe she could reduce a dead Naruto to a maimed Naruto.
"Let me get this straight. You're mad at Sasuke because of what his character did."
Naruto nodded enthusiastically.
"…in a book."
He just nodded some more.
Sakura sighed and threw her hands in the air, giving up. That was all the warning he got before Sasuke lunged at him and began beating him into the ground.
"Hey—OW—what are you—OW OW OW OW—doing?"
"This is nothing compared to the hell you gave me!"
"You deserved it! AUGH—stop trying to scrape my skin into the rocks!"
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
"HOW DARE YOU? YOU BETRAYED THE VILLAGE!"
"IT WAS A BOOK!"
Sighing, Sakura turned her back on them and grimaced at the amount of wounds she'd have to fix later. Walking away, she muttered, "Who's stupid enough to name an entire series after him of all people?"
—
—
"You are totally wearing pajamas tied around your waist."
"Shut up, Naruto!"
"With a purple ass-bow, too!"
"…hey, what are you—wait I'm sorry—OH GOD HAVE MERCY!"
Hope you enjoyed this bit of humor. This idea just randomly came up to me one day and I wondered, what would happen if the cast of Naruto were to read the Naruto manga series? I really wanted to make fun of their choice in clothing too. Seriously. What on earth is everyone wearing after Shippuden?
This is AU, obviously. And I just couldn't resist adding in the SasuSaku. I'm addiiiiicted.
Oh and sorry for posting this so randomly all of a sudden—I actually had this written waaaaay back but I never post anything immediately after, as I like to re-read and proofread them after I've put them down for a while. And I tend to do this a couple of times so um. Here you go, finally. And no, I totally did not almost forget I had written this. Nope. No way.)
