A/N: This is kinda awesome I'm writing this on my new phone. So yeah... I blame this brain vomit on Pokeyspot, she keeps me sane in this crazy, crazy world ^_^ Happy Birthday sweetie.
Rating: Um... M. What do you expect it's me.
Warnings: Um... See next chapter, I don't wanna give the game away.
Disclaimer: Not mine... I'm just borrowing them to tort... Er love them.
Dedication: To Pokeyspot, for being an awesome friend and partner in crime.
April 'Fools'
Chapter 1: The Setup.
The Konoha missions room was considered a sacred place. It was a place of levity, where lives were changed drastically with the opening of a scroll. A place where world weary ninja came after their gruelling missions to expel the memories one last time in paper form. It was a place of healing, a place of tranquillity, a place of...
"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME HATAKE!"
... Complete fucking lunatics.
"I believe I called you a weak, pencil pushing Chuunin who takes pleasure in exacting what little power he has over his fellow shinobi by boring them to death with tedious and unimportant tasks just to give yourself an ego boost."
The room fell deathly silent as 'Hatake' finished his speech, waiting for the inevitable explosion. Behind the long wooden desk the recipient of the man's cruel words stood gaping like a dying fish, tanned face flushed and brown eyes blazing with unrestrained fury. Umino Iruka was pissed.
"YOU ARROGANT, SELF RIGHTEOUS, OBNOXIOUS, BASTARD!"
You could have heard a pin drop in the room and across from the bellowing man the silver haired Jounin just raised an eyebrow, as furious whispers (and betting pools) broke out.
"Nothing I deny, but at least I have reason to be, unlike you."
It was the sharp slam of door meeting with wall drew the combatants (and most of the rooms occupants) attention away from their verbal spar with a violent jolt. Twenty pairs of fearful eyes spun around and landed upon a distinctly unimpressed looking Tsunade, stood in the now open doorway (as the door handle was imbedded in the wall, wedging it open.) arms folded across her chest and foot tapping like an annoyed mother. It didn't even take a single word, all the Hokage had to do was raise a tawny brow and the room emptied quicker than a female onsen with Jiraiya present. As the noxious cloud that signalled multiple transportation Justus dissipated the blonde turned her unflinching gaze on the rooms remaining occupants and scowled. Not these two again.
"What have I told you two about bringing your disagreements in here."
Kakashi just looked as bored as ever, his infamous Icha Icha book propped open in front of his face and his single grey eye lazily scanning the pages in front of him. The brunette however flushed deeply and dropped his gaze to the floor, mentally cursing just about everything about the silver haired fucktard in front of him. Mustering a modicum of humility the Chuunin raised his head.
"I apologise for my unprofessional conduct Hokage-sama it won't happen again."
There was a soft snort of laughter from behind Iruka and the unmistakable muttering of the words 'brown-noser'.
That did it.
Iruka saw red, growling he rounded piercing brown eyes on the copy-ninja, the dark orbs filled with enough fire to incinerate the other man on the spot. It was one thing to mock his status, but there was no fucking way he was going to lets some trumped up, self absorbed, perverted asshat of a Jounin question his professional integrity.
No way in all the nine fucking hells.
Sensing that whatever she had managed to halt before was about to flare up once again Tsunade decided to step in, before she had to pay for more damages other than a dented wall. She rounded on the Jounin, amber eyes flashing dangerously.
"Get the hell out of here now brat! I don't want to see hide nor hair of you until at least tomorrow morning."
Taking the 'get out of jail free card' for what it was Kakashi gave a quick two fingered salute and disappeared in a poof of chakra smoke, leaving behind a very disgruntled Iruka and an exasperated Hokage. The blonde turned to the Chuunin and sighed.
"Iruka..."
"I know, I know, I shouldn't let him get under my skin. I just don't understand why he's gunning for me so badly, he doesn't act like this with Izumo, Kotetsu or any other of the desk staff."
The blonde just about resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the poor, dense little Chuunin. If he hadn't figured it out by now then he never would. That thought however brought her back to the original problem. Kakashi's 'teasing' had become a lot more harsh recently, she assumed it was because the man was becoming increasingly desperate to garner the Sensei's attention. But knowing Kakashi there could be some ridiculous 'underneath the underneath' reason for the sudden rise in animosity.
But still this behaviour, it wasn't on at all. It needed to be nipped in the bud before it got any worse, Tsunade honestly didn't know how Iruka put up with it. She remembered a time when the brunette wouldn't have stood for such abuse, he would have exacted his own brand of revenge.
Suddenly a smirk crossed the blondes lips as an evil thought crossed her mind. She was fairly certain that the 'old' Iruka was still around, he just needed a little prompting.
"I don't know why you let him get away with it, I remember when Jounin's used to quake in fear at the name Umino Iruka."
The Hokage's smirk widened as she saw the man blush deeply.
"That was when I was a child Hokage-sama, I would like to think I've matured since then."
Iruka grumbled and pouted making Tsunade mentally chuckle. 'Sure you've matured Iruka, sure you have.' she thought sarcastically.
"Maybe so but that child wouldn't let anyone walk over him like they were nothing."
Iruka's pout turned into a frown, something old and familiar stirring in the back of his mind, sending prickles down his spine. Nursing the insult to his pride he turned to his leader frown set firmly in place.
"And what is that supposed to mean Hokage-sama?"
His tone of voice was low, almost silken and it sent a shudder of delicious anticipation through Tsunade's mind.
Hook.
"Oh nothing Iruka, nothing at all."
The blonde purposefully left her voice airy and let the implication behind her words linger in the air. The brunette scowled and glared at the woman in front of him.
"You think I'm weak, the same as Kakashi thinks, don't you."
Line.
"I didn't say that."
Again the Hokage was outwardly calm but inside her deviously whirling mind, inner Tsunade was doing a victory dance. Things were about to get interesting.
"You might as well have. That DOES IT! I'm so sick and tired of people underestimating me, I'll show you, especially that condescending, one eyed wanker!"
Sinker.
Tsunade turned her head away to hide the gigantic grin that was threatening to break out across her features.
"Well it's not my place to tell you how to act toward your superiors Iruka."
She finally turned to the Sensei, shit-eating grin proudly broadcasted across her face and in that second the brunette realised exactly what the Hokage had done and what she was giving him permission to do. A grin split his face, making his scar crinkle and his brown eyes glow with mischief.
"You're a manipulative bitch Hokage-sama, but I guess I should thank you."
Tsunade snorted "I have no idea what on earth you're talking about."
Iruka rolled his eyes in amusement as he made his way toward the still open doorway, his shift having finished ten minutes ago. Damn Hatake making him late.
"Of course Hokage-sama, of course."
He was about to step out when...
"Oh and Iruka..."
The Sensei turned on his heel to face the leader of his village once again, shuddering slightly at the look of demonic glee etched across her youthful features. He was glad that he was the producer and not the recipient of that look, it was fucking scary.
"Yes Hokage-sama?"
"Make sure it's something the brat won't forget for a long, long time."
Iruka gave a swift nod and stalked out the room. He'd already concocted the outline of his plan, it was time to crack out his old jutsu scrolls. He'd show the asshole cyclops was it felt like to be weak and then he'd proceed to rub it in his stupid Jounin face.
Feeling much happier he made his way toward his apartment, noting the bells chiming the midnight chorus. It was as the bells finished tolling that the brunette realised the date and
Feeling much happier he made his way toward his apartment, noting the bells chiming the midnight chorus. It was as the bells finished tolling that the brunette realised the date and smiled at the beautiful irony.
April 1st.
Was there any better day to exact his revenge?
Grinning wildly he reached his home and quickly gathered the surprisingly minimal materials for his self appointed mission. Then under the cover of darkness he slipped out and disappeared into the winding streets ready to put his plan into action.
Hatake Kakashi wasn't going to know what hit him.
Across the village lying awake in bed Kakashi shuddered suddenly and sneezed, a feeling of doom settling in his gut.
~End chapter 1.~
A/N: Apologies for any errors the spell check on my phone isn't all that great. That and I've somehow injured my freaking hand and can't do much with it, so updates for all my fics are going to be a bit sporadic for a little while *Glares* Reviewers shall be showered with super-shiny-special-awesome (Damn Yugioh abridged corrupting me ) yaoi goodness.