The loud incessant buzzing of the cell phone against the hard wooden surface of the nightstand it rests on fills every square inch of the shadow draped bedroom with an urgency that goes unnoticed by the sole occupant who remains asleep in the bed beside it. It's not until the call comes to an end, only to strike up once again with the same demanding urgency, does Regina begin to stir.
Breathing in a deep breath that doesn't do much to pull her entirely out of her sleep induced stupor, her eyes strain to make out the brightly illuminated numbers of the alarm clock beside the large four poster bed she resides on. A deep frown forming when she sees how early in the morning it really is.
The last remaining buzzes from the device has her grumbling in annoyance. Who would be calling at four am?! Reaching out a hand, she swipes the phone from its place just as it quiets down. Pushing the home button only to see the influx of missed calls from David. A strange sensation much like deja vu washes over her making heart give a strange flutter that isn't quiet fearful but isn't without worry either. She never gets calls from Charming, certainly not in the middle of the night.
Tendrils of anxiety begin to seep down her spine, spreading into every molecule of her body as she pulls herself up into a sitting position in the empty bedroom. Gazing out at the shadows like they could know what this is about. Jumping involuntarily when the landline begins ringing downstairs.
Swallowing hard she forces herself to get up but instead of going to try and answer the phone- the distance from her room to the downstairs hallway too great to make such a goal accomplishable- she beelines to her ensuite bathroom. Flicking on the overhead light with hands that tremble with worry. Her mind whirling with every scenario that would warrant middle of the night phone calls.
Emma. Emma sick. Emma injured. Emma in a car accident. Emma laying in a hospital bed with tubes running in and out of her, machines beeping, a breathing tube keeping her alive.
With every new detail her mind cooks up the fear she feels intensifies. Glancing up to catch her reflection in the mirror and for a moment not recognizing herself. The unease written across her expression giving her a peculiar look that isn't normal for the always well kept Mayor. Pushing her hair back, she tries to steady herself, breathing out a slow even breath.
"It's probably nothing, just call him back. If she's hurt you can go be with her. She'll need you to with her. To be strong for her." Reasoning with herself she takes another deep breath to further steady her nerves but the phone in her hand again buzzes to life against her sweat damped palm. Steeling herself for whatever news will be coming at her once she slides her thumb across the screen.
"What happened?" Her voice comes out harsher than she intended but the worry behind it making it painfully clear where the heat came from.
"Regina!" Relief tinged with something else drips from the one word the former shepherd gets out, and was that a hitch in his voice? "Regina, I need you to listen to me. Emma-"
It was worse.
Her head shakes to try and prevent the words from reaching her ear though the phone never moves from its place pressed firmly there. Extending her arm back to find the door she had just opened, her fingertips brushing against the cool smooth surface- judging the distance needed for the stability of something to hold her up. Taking a small step backwards, her voice trembling with dismay.
"David. What. Happened." Grinding her teeth together, no amount of preparation for the words she knows- knows deep down in the very depths of her soul- are coming.
"She's gone."
A weight with the force of a mac truck slams into her, leaving her breathless and gaping, her free hand that had felt for the door moving to her mouth wordlessly. David's tearful explanation of how he tried to call her sooner, that he didn't know what had happened to his daughter- how when he showed up to relieve her of her position at the station he had found her on the floor behind her desk already gone- all of it going unheard by the brunette who's eyes widen as her mind tries and fails to process any of what he suggests to be reality.
Emma is gone.
How can Emma be gone?
They had a breakfast date the next morning. She wouldn't have missed that.
"Regina? Regina. We don't want you to be alone. Sno- Mary Margaret is worried about you and so am I. We can be the-"
"I have to go. I can't-" A rough shake of her head is all the warning she gives the grief-stricken man on the other end of the phone, not caring that he can't see the gesture. Yanking the phone from her ear she quickly ends the call. David's worried voice still traveling through the speaker as her thumb disconnects the line.
She is gone, not coming back.
Stumbling a step back but her legs simply cannot preform the task to its entirety. The crushing weight of this blow too much to allow normal bodily function and before she can even react her body propels to the floor with a harsh, ungraceful, slap that sounds loudly in the momentarily silent room. An inhuman howl crawls up her throat with painful force thus slaying the silence around her.
Her mournful wails drown out everything including the discarded phone that lays buzzing beside her on the floor. These anguished cries demand everything she has within her, even her breath that cannot come quickly enough just to be sobbed back out. Tears stream down leaving shimmering streaks across the olive toned plains of her cheeks. Blindly reaching for the discarded phone. Her tear blurred vision making it difficult but once she has it she quickly disregards the incoming call and instead pulls up the text box that can put all of this to rest.
She can't be gone. There would be a text explaining this cruel joke. An apology. Something.
Only there wasn't. Not for the last six hours had their been any word from the blonde, which was strange, she always texted when she was on her way home. Regina had grown into the habit of waking enough to check that she was safe and on her way home to her after the long night at the station. But tonight, this morning, the only thing that stared back at her was the last text she'd read before setting her phone down on her nightstand when she turning in for bed.
09/04/15, 9:58PM
Wife:
I LOVE YOU SO RIDICULOUSLY MUCH 😘
Regina Mills:
Go get to work Sheriff, be safe please. I'll see you when you get home. 😘
Wife:
Really? That's it?! No I love you babe?
Wife:
Bring home the bacon and I don't even get some lovin!
Regina Mills:
I LOVE YOU SOOOOO MUCH! 😍😘
Regina Mills:
Is that more to your standard, my love?
Wife:
Yes! Much better gorgeous!
Wife:
BYE! 😍😘
Where was her I'm coming home text? Harshly swiping the tears away with the back of her hand she sniffles. A slow rolling anger bubbling up in the pit of her stomach.
This was a joke. A cruel. Cruel. Joke.
A nimble- albeit trembling- thumb makes quick work of her phone and before a moment longer has passed the phone is again pressed firmly to her ear once again, though this time David's voice would not be on the answering end. Every pulse of the ringer has her already hammering heart sinking further in her chest. This couldn't be true. The reality too hard a concept to come to terms with. Blind hope was all she had to go on and damn it she was not going to let it go now.
"Hey!" The breathy greeting from the blonde has Regina straightening up in an instant. Relief flooding through her in a dizzying rush. She was alright. It wasn't real. Opening her mouth to speak she's cut off before she can get a word formed. "It's Emma, I can't get to the phone right now but leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as I can! Later!"
Dysphoria creeps in, chilling her to the bone, and eradicates the relief that had swelled up in her with one forceful blow. Ending the phone call, Regina quickly presses the redial button over and over again. Endlessly listening to the light lilting voice the spills from the speaker pressed to her ear. Tears well up with a vengeance. They had been duped. Believing that this was all just one big mistake. But with every unanswered phone call the world as she knew it begins to crumble before her blurred eyes that stare unseeingly at the cabinet before her.
So lost in her own surmounting grief that she doesn't hear the sound of keys in her front door downstairs, or the pounding of feet up the stairs, nor the creek of her bedroom door. All of it lost on deaf ears that can only take in the escalating sounds of her own sob that strains against her vocal cords, desperate to break free. The grief that radiates from the bottomless abyss forming deep within demands to be felt in its full undiluted force. Not having the strength to keep at bay even if she wanted to.
"Oh Regina."
The soft tear laden whisper has Regina's head snapping up with such startled force that it makes the tears that had been balancing precariously on the edges of her lower lashes to fall and make their way down the paths already made out for them by their predecessors. Hating that the face that stares down at her is grief-stricken, worried, and blotched from crying. Mary Margaret wouldn't lie to her. Not about something like this.
Pain crushes through her last reserves of hope leaving in its wake an anguished cry that echoes around the bathroom. For as strong and composed as she normally is it takes one look at Mary Margaret to have Regina's face crumpling under the weight of her sadness. Dissolving into unrelenting tears that show no signs of slowing any time soon.
As slender arms wrap around her all she can do is lean into them. Allowing the younger woman to hold her as sobs wrack her body. Wanting to disappear into the embrace and never surface again if it means that the one person who truly had her back, whom she loved so fiercely, was well and truly gone from this world.
"I'm s-so sorry Regina," stroking her hand along Regina's back, Mary Margaret is left at a loss for words. What condolences can she extend? What wise words can she produce when her own heart breaks like the woman's in her arms. Instead she allows herself to cry with the brunette, never once loosening her tight grip from around the grieving wife who mourns everything that was and could have been.
"I want… To wake.. Up!" Is all that Regina can manage to choke out between hard, soul crushing, sobs.
"I do too… I do too."
AN: Not entirely sure if I am going to keep this as a one shot or continue it on. I'm so torn as this is a particularly personal story to me. Let me know what you think! Keep going or leave it as is?