Lydia watches as the woman she calls her thane piles another chest outside the door, adding to the already ridiculous pile of chests and furniture that are being unceremoniously shoved out of Breezehome to gather strange looks from passersby.
"My thane," Lydia says carefully, "I really don't see why you have to get rid of everything to clean the house."
Ildari S'thain pokes her head out of the door, red eyes gleaming in the early morning sunlight and a manic grin on her dark lips. "Because," she says, "It's how my Alma cleaned house and how her Alma cleaned house and it's how I'm going to clean my house."
She ducks by inside, her long black braid swinging over her shoulder. "Besides," she yells, "That's almost everything on the first floor!"
Lydia wants to cry. Why, why, did she decide that accepting the position as this woman's housecarl was a good idea?
"Come on, Lydia!" Ildari enthuses from somewhere inside. "I need a hand with the bed!"
Lydia suppresses a groan and trudges inside to help her madwoman of a thane move her bed down the stairs and outside.
It's almost midday before everything is moved to Ildari's satisfaction and then she dives back into the house with brooms and pails of water and soap and scrubbing cloths.
The Dunmer cleans with a kind of glee that Lydia usually sees for the debates that occur in Dragonsreach during meetings. Intimidating and somehow admirable.
Lydia reminds herself that as housecarl, it is her sworn duty to aid her thane in whatever way she can, and mid-afternoon finds her scrubbing the floor of the small alchemy room on the first floor. The second floor, Talos be thanked, was already done.
Ildari is singing from the kitchen where she's happily cleaning the plaque below the stuffed head of a large boar. Lydia doesn't know the words she's singing, but knows the language is Dunmeri.
Lydia has just finished with the alchemy room when Ildari peers into the room. "Done?" she asks.
"Yes, my thane," Lydia replies, standing and surveying the room.
"Good!" Ildari says. "Now we get to move everything back in!"
Lydia is not paid enough for this.
It takes about another two hours before everything is rearranged to Ildari's liking. And they've finished just in time as rain begins to thunk against the roof as Lydia carries the last chair back into the house.
"It looks much better, don't you think?" Ildari says proudly.
"Yes, thane," Lydia says, setting the chair by the fire.
It does look somewhat better, the floor less grimy and the scent of lavender and ashroot hanging light in the air.
Ildari tosses Lydia an apple and bites into another noisily. "And we only have to do this once a year," she says grinning.
"At least it's not once a month," Lydia groans, sinking into the chair that creaks faintly under her weight.
"It could be," Ildari muses into her apple. "My Tanta on my Ata's side would clean her caravan every two weeks. Although it was a small caravan, so it only took a day."
Lydia shudders at the thought of cleaning Breezehome top to bottom every two weeks.
"Please don't, my thane," she requests.
Ildari shrugs and takes another bite of her apple. "At least Breezehome isn't a manor," she says. "It could be so much worse."
She giggles evilly.
Lydia is housecarl to an absolute madwoman of a thane. Talos, she isn't paid enough for this job. She sinks further into her chair as Ildari cackles gleefully.
Maybe she could get a job with the Companions? She's heard they're always looking for more hands…