Bilbo Homleyhome was sitting on the stoop of his Hobbit hole, peacefully smoking while his children/siblings* cackled maniacally next to him. Suddenly a tall, lanky man with a long gray beard was standing in front of them. POOF. Hoiti Homleyhome, being the bright, intelligent, intellectual child she was, instantly whispered in a hushed voice,
"Santa?"
He smiled, because she had guessed correctly. Toiti, her twin brother, barked and proceeded to bite his sister harshly. Toiti vaguely resembled a shih tzu humanoid mutation, and was quite small but also quite vicious, and had fur growing out of his scrawny, misshapen body at random places.
"It's Gandolf, idiot!" he snarled, barking crazily, because his mind was like a shih tzu's also.
"Grandpa?" she murmured, reaching her hand towards the man as if in a trance.
"Gandolf."
"Gandoof?"
"No."
"Gandarf?"
"No."
"WWWWHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY?!" She started to sob because her confused mind was reaching it's limit of ability to comprehend and compute. Gandarf rolled his eyes and turned towards Bilbo, his voice dropping to an ominous level.
"I'm looking for someone to share an adventure." he said. He raised his eyebrows and Toiti growled, a bark forming at the back of his