another one-shot of mine :)
just had to get it out of my head...
changed some minor details like piercings and tattoos... they're human...
and i'm sorry for any typos...

now read...

Three weeks ago I got an e-mail on facebook. It was from a guy I've never seen before, asking me if he could get a chance to get to know me. First I refused, not wanting to meet anyone. He was ready to accept it, telling me I could write whenever I would be ready to meet a guy. So I gave in. "Just for the fun of it. Tell me something about you" was what I wrote just an hour after his first mail. So he did.

I learned that he lived only four kilometers away, I could practically see his house from my window. He told me about his piercings and tattoos, earning more of my attention, having a piercing and several tattoos myself. We started to talk about our hobbies and other stuff.

That was two days before New Year's Eve, so we told each other about our good intentions for 2011.

New Year's Eve he asked if he could get my number. I hesitated. Told him to give me his number, saying I'd see what I could do in 2011. It became my most important intention to write him as soon as my clock struck midnight.

I was on my way to my friend's party, clutching my cell to me, staring at his number. I couldn't wait to write him.

I drank, I smoked, watched my friends laughing and spilling red wine on the white carpet. But all I could do was thinking about him. It was merely midnight, when I hit the green button and sent my message. We both enjoyed our parties, wrote each other now and then.

I wasn't even really awake yet, when I got a new text, saying he'd hope that he hadn't woken me. I smiled to myself while typing my answer "Just woke up, but you didn't wake me :)". He told me he had been dreaming of me. Dreaming of someone you haven't even met yet? Well, he wasn't the only one.

I got dressed, ate with my friends and then made my way home. All the while still writing with him. Smiling every time I got a new text. Never has that happened before. I always was happy with my ex, but never that happy whenever I got a text message from him.

It was the evening on which he had to leave his home, making his way to work, which was all the way across the state. Just my luck. Luck the one guy who is home for the weekends, but works somewhere entirely different through the week. I wished him a good train ride.

I knew he wasn't in a really good mood, but wanted him to smile, even if I couldn't see it. "Shall I tell you something, that maybe lights up your mood?" "Do it! Not sure you can do it though." Biting my lower lip I wrote my reply. "Not even, if I'd tell you that I can't wait to meet you in person? Not even a small smile?" "Ya, you're right. But just a small one." We continued writing some more. Me smiling all the time like an idiot.

The week went by in a flash and we set up time and date to meet. I seriously couldn't wait for it.

Two hours before our "date" I got a text again. "Okay, now I get a little... We could sit at the water if you want." "Sounds nice :) See you then."

So I made my way to the place where we wanted to meet. I saw a guy walking a few meters away from me and thought "Can it be?" Just then he pulled out his phone. Seconds later my phone vibrated in my pocket. "Are you there yet?"

I snapped my phone shut, put it back into my pocket, lifted my head and smiled, when I saw him walking towards me.

"Hey," I said with a little wave of my hand. "Hey yourself, you weren't waiting for long, were you?" he answered. "Nope, just got here." So we walked down to the water, me nearly slipping on the damn ice covering the ground. We sat down on a bench, facing the water and the swans.

The following hour we didn't say much, yes, we talked, but not much when I think about it. Actually he was the first person, right after my best friend, with whom I didn't feel an urge to fill the silence. For me the silence was more than comfortable. For him, no idea.

I walked him to his bus stop, talking a bit more. Ten minutes later his bus came and he shook my hand lightly. I couldn't help but notice how soft his skin felt. "We'll write and see us again, okay?" just nodded my head, looking into his eyes. "Have a good walk home" he called after me when I turned around, walking home. "I will," I called back, turning my head slightly.

Another week followed. I knew I wouldn't see him for the next three weeks, if he still wanted to see me again. First weekend b-day-party of my best friend. Second weekend he wouldn't come home, cause there were no trains back on Sunday. Then another five days til he'll be back home. Three weeks and no idea how I am supposed to do that.

"Hey little one, sorry to tell you, but the party won't take place due to bad planning on our side." My best friend, three days before I would have visited him. "But I want to see you, we haven't seen each other in so long." That's when my told me to stay home and go to see my bf another time, when we actually have planned something. "Thanks mom. I haven't seen him in nine months, but I can't see him without a very good purpose? Wow, good reason not to see my fucking best friend." In the end I stayed home.

"What would you say if I'd be home this weekend? Wanna see me again or not?" I wrote the text, nervously playing with the ring in my lip. "Would like to, but I'm helping a friend moving on Saturday."
The weekend came and I hadn't really slept that well all week. "Wanna meet tomorrow at 12, same place?" "Sorry, thought you were away. Meet some friends already." Great. Entire weekend and nothing to do. "Too bad :( have fun with whatever you're doing." Given, maybe I sounded a bit angry in that one, but no answer from him since then.

Few nights later I had a weird dream about him. We sat on 'our' bench, again facing the water. He pulled out a cigarette and kept looking. I just stared at him, not able to say a word. Suddenly he spoke.

"What makes you so sad? What are you thinking about?" Did I really look that bad? "Nothing, it's just... nothing. Don't worry." He looked me deep in the eyes. "You can tell me, you know? It's not like I'd run to the next best person telling them your secrets." "But seeing that you're not my best friend, I won't tell you." He looked to the water again. "Then close your eyes and imagine I'm your best friend. I really want to help you if I can."

So I did as he asked. I closed my eyes and leaned my head onto his shoulder, just like when I would be talking with my bf. "Okay, assuming you're my best friend...What would I tell him?" I mused. "Oh there's a start. I met this guy you know. I didn't want to get to know him at first, but then I did anyways. And I actually really like him I think. Some weeks ago we met for the first time and I had not one clear thought since then. It's always him in that stupid head of mine. I'm thinking about him nearly every minute of the day. And I have no fucking clue what he thinks about me." I felt him going tense, so I pulled away and stood up. I let out a shaky breath, I hadn't realized I was holding, looking at him. "Okay, I just made a fool out of myself, so I'll... you know uh... I'll just go." I turned away, getting a few meters away before I felt a hand on my shoulder. And just like in all those chick-flick movies he slowly turned me back to him and looked me in the eyes once more. "Actually, you didn't." And he kissed me. It was the best first kiss ever. Soft. Tingling on my lips. Making my insides flutter and my knees go weak.

But it was just a dream. Right?

Lying on my bed I turned around, slowly opening my eyes. "Morning honey," he whispered close to my ear. I looked down, seeing our legs entangled, his arms around my waist and my hand on his well built chest. I lightly traced one of his tattoos with a finger, before looking up into his eyes. I thought about my dream for a moment longer. The same dream for a bit over two months now. The sensation of our first kiss.

"Morning Chris," I whispered with a genuine smile on my lips.

now review :) *makes puppy dog eyes*