TOTALLY KIDDING about the C&J based summary btw. I just wanted to see which of my regulars would still want to read a C&J story if I wrote one. Not that I would ever succumb to that.
And for those of you who clicked on the story WANTING to read about Clarrise and Joe, maybe you should broaden your horizens and read some REAL PD fanfic. Schwartzibrow's new ones are both quite good if you're after a suggestion.
So this story is really a two parter M&M (Thank God). It explores Mia's fears of never being able to find a date, let alone a husband. If you're reading this after I've changed the summary back to what it should be, then you're probably confused. So just read the story. And review at the bottom.
Urgh, another gruelling hour of Algebra with my mothers husband teaching. I HATE Algebra. I don't even understand why we need to learn this stuff. When am I EVER going to need this in the real world? I mean, when I'm sitting on the throne, assessing the most recent environmental issue Genovia has to deal with, I'm not going to suddenly need to call on my freshman maths skills to solve the problem, am I? No. If anything, I'm going to need to call upon my Biology knowledge, which means I should be spending this time studying THAT, so that my bio partner Kenny doesn't have to pull me along like he always does.
With this in mind, I shut my Algebra notebook and pulled out my Biology one instead. Mr. G'll never notice.
...But that doesn't mean Lana won't.
"What are you doing?" she snapped, showering me with her frangipani smelling hair as she spun around. "This is supposed to be Algebra, not Biology."
"Mind your own business," I whispered, sneaking a look at the front of the classroom where Mr. G was helping Boris unstick his sweater from where it had gotten wedged in the chair.
"You know, Amelia," she continued in that snotty voice of hers. "Instead of school work, you should be concentrating on your people skills. Afterall, it is your responsibility, as the heir, to provide your own heir, is it not?" She said the word heir with an added sarcasim. She's never really been supportive of my royalty since I rejected her offers to be best friends with her when she first found out.
"What's your point?" I snapped.
"Well, just that statistics have proven that people who haven't gotten their first real boyfriend or girlfriend by the time they're fourteen, will die alone. But you're not worried about little facts like that, are you?" She batted her eyelashes at me.
"Did you know, Lana, that forty seven percent of statistics are made up on the spot?" Ha! Two can play at her game.
"What are you implying, Mia?" she said in a shocked, high pitch. "That I made that fact up? For your sake I wish that were true. I really, really do."
She reached one of her perfectly manicured hands out and gently stroked my own nail-bitten one.
"But don't worry," she said sweetly. "I'm sure there's someone out there for you. If you want, I can set you up with Joseph."
I cringed, remembering who Joseph was: the gangly sophmore who hates it when they put corn in the chilli in the caf.
"I think I'll be right, Lana. But thanks for the offer."
She smirked at me once more before turning back around, swishing her hair over my desk once more.
I stared at my biology book for a good five minutes, with nothing sinking in.
She's not right, is she? She can't be. It's not possible. Lana is never right. She lives to torment me.
But...what if she is?
Grandmere did me no favours later that day when she anounced that there was a ball coming up.
"I assume you have plently of choices for escorts, Amelia. But I ask you to please, please, think of me when you cut down the list to just one. The last thing we need is for you to bring someone who will embarrass the family."
Plenty of choices, riiiiight. What fantasy land does she live in? And can I go there?
"Actually, Grandmere, I don't really have anyone I can bring. I'll just go alone."
"Alone?" she barked, as if the word was not in her vocabulary. "Amelia, you cannot possibly go alone, do you not realise how bad that would make us all look? It's not just your reputation on the line here, you know."
"But I don't have anyone to bring," I stated simply.
"Then find someone! It's not rocket science, Amelia! God knows you'll have to find a Prince Consort eventually. I'd hate to think how troubling that will be for everyone."
"Why?" I asked, a little taken aback. I can understand Lana's reluctance to believe that I'll ever find true love, but my own grandmother thinks I'm too repulsive to be loved?
She waved a hand dismissively. "That doesn't matter now. All that matters is that you find someone for this Saturday night."
"This Saturday?" I squeaked. "I didn't know it was so soon, how am I supposed to find someone on that short notice?"
"I don't want to hear about it," she said, waving her hand again. "Let's just get on with today's lesson. Scarf folding!"
Scarf folding? Why can't she ever teach me anything IMPORTANT? Like how to find a Prince Consort or a date to a boring ball?
With Lana's supposed 'statistic' and Grandmere's ball hanging over my head all week, I've tried really hard to find a date. Afterall, I don't want to die old and lonely, with no children to look after me or to take the throne once I finally croak. Though I suppose I can always go to a sperm bank, but let's hope it doesn't result in that!
But you know, it's not as easy as Grandmere or Lana make it seem. The choices here at AEHS are not exactly the best. Other than He Who Shall Not Be Named (because he is just so perfect and so far out of my league that there's no point even dwelling on him or mentioning his name.) there really isn't anyone I'd WANT to take to the ball.
And with the ball tomorrow night, I'm kind of stressed for time!
I took another long look around the caf at lunchtime on Friday to see if there was anyone I missed. But the only person who looked remotely interested in me was Tina, who was staring back at me when my gaze crossed her way.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Scoping the situation out," I replied. "And let me tell you, my future looks bleak."
"How so?" she asked, taking a look for herself at the oh-so-fine specimens the school has to offer.
"There's just...no one here that's suitable for dating, let alone marrying. Am I destined to be alone forever, Tina?"
She stared at me blankly for a second. "Mia, you're fourteen, not forty. I think there's plenty of time for you to find a husband. There is life outside of Albert Einstein, you know."
"Well I have to find a date for Grandmere's ball tomorrow night. And did you know that statistics have proven that people without partners by the time they're fourteen are more likely to be alone forever? I'm going to be one of those people, Tina. I just know it."
"Relax, Mia. That statistic doesn't sound true to me. You know what you need to do? You need to find a back up."
"A what?"
"A back up. I have one. He's an old family friends son. His name is Jeremy and he's sixteen. You see, we have a pact, that if neither of us are married or in a committed relationship by the time we're thirty, then we'll get married. That way we won't be alone forever."
I considered it for a minute. "That sounds great,Tina. But I don't think it would work for me."
"Why not?"
"Well, not only would this guy be marrying someone he doesn't love, but he'd be marrying into royalty. I don't hold out much hope for someone who loved me to be willing to marry into that, so why would someone who doesn't love me do it? Let's face it, I'll be alone forever. Sebastiano's kids will have to take the crown, and Grandmere will be turning in her grave until the end of time."
I slumped forwards and rested my head pathetically on the table.
Tina didn't know what to do or say, so she just sympathetically patted me on the back.
As per usual, I knocked on the Moscovitz's door that night for my sleepover with Lilly.
"Thermopolis," Michael greeted when he opened the door. He was looking extra nice tonight; he was wearing the brown shirt that goes so well with his chocolate eyes.
"Hi, Michael!" I squeaked as I stepped past him.
"Lilly's in her room."
"Thanks," I muttered. More than anything I wanted to ask him if he'd marry me if I'm not married by the time I'm thirty, but I bit my tongue and held myself back.
"What's up?" he asked, looking at me strangely. He must have been able to tell that there was something I wanted to say. Maybe it was the fact that I was walking backwards towards Lilly's room because I couldn't tear my eyes from him, and also biting my tongue in such a way that it distorted my mouth. "Is everything ok?"
I nodded and spun around, calling, "Yup, everythings peachy, thanks," over my shoulder.
Smooth, Mia. Real smooth.
I barged into Lilly's room without knocking and quickly shut the door behind me, collapsing against it.
"Ok," Lilly started, looking up from her computer at me. "You're being weird already. What's up? Usually it takes you at least an hour to start being weird."
"Nothing's up," I lied, rubbing my nose with the back of my hand. "Nothing at all. So what are we doing tonight?"
She stared at me for a minute, trying to work out what was wrong. Then she gave up and replied, "Movie night. I got a couple earlier."
"Sounds good. Pizza too?"
"Of course. Pizza's a given."