Que Sera Sera / Whatever Will Be, Will Be
Author: Janlaw
Disclaimer: the usual legalese. Playing nice.
This story is in response to Theresa's 4 word challenge (anniversary, date, sheepish, unconventional) on FicRecon 21 August 2007
A/N 1. Mackenzie O'Hara Rabb ("Mahara" or "Mara") was born in May 2006 in London. Harm and Mac returned to the United States in November 2006 –Mac to be CO of JLSO SW and Harm at NCIS, charged with training and mentoring junior agents and judge advocates. Mattie, still recovering from her accident, and Chloe were living with Trish and Frank in La Jolla, as described in Second Wind, by McRose, the writing team of highplainswoman and janlaw. The family made further appearances in Blue is the Color ….by Janlaw (set in 2007) and Doppelganger, by McRose (set in 2006-2007 and 2009). The stories are archived at www"dot"jagnavy-marineadvocate"dot" com and all except the last part of Second Wind, are also here on this site.
A/N 2. A note briefly explaining the lives and times of the dynamic duo, their family, and their 'family of the heart' from late 2006 –2015 will be included at the end of the story. Most of the details are mentioned or alluded to in the story, but if anyone wants it laid out chronologically, there it'll be!
Many thanks to annamae for the brainstorming assist and jeanaz8 for sharing her research results.
In the friendly skies
enroute from San Diego to Dulles
Monday, 21 April 2014 (Easter Monday)
Staring morosely out the window as the Pacific Ocean and San Diego disappeared into the distance, Harm's voice was flat. "This just isn't right."
Holding his hand tightly and leaning her head against his shoulder, Mac was almost 100 sure she knew what he was talking about. She already missed them too. It had been so great, all of them together the whole week before Easter and through the weekend. A family. Her family. "What's not right, Harm?"
"We're probably going to miss our daughter's 8th birthday next month. We're definitely going to miss celebrating our anniversary with our family and friends."
Mac sighed. "I don't like it either. We knew it was going to happen – that we'd miss some of the important occasions." Her voice trailed off. "In a way it's harder to miss the everyday times …I know we made the right decision when we agreed that Mahara would stay with Trish and Frank, and Mattie and Chloe, so that she could continue at La Jolla Country Day School, continue skating pairs with AJ…we go back and forth for the weekend at least twice a month but sometimes I feel like Trish and Frank and Mattie and Chloe are almost more her parents than we are!"
"Not to mention Bud and Harriet." Harm turned back from the window, kissing Mac's cheek as they snuggled together in the last row of the First Class cabin. "I know they all love her – they vie with each other to take care of her – but we're her parents. We should be the ones there taking care of her."
"I. Just. Don't. Like. It. In fact, I hate it." Fifty years old or not, Harm's voice was that of a petulant child.
In spite of herself, Mac couldn't help giggling. "Don't let your mother see that face, Harmon," she teased. "You know what you look like, don't you?"
Harm's not-quite-all-there grin was more than slightly sheepish. "I know, but it makes me feel better. Hey, don't deprive me of my pout!"
Staring out the window, Mac's mouth opened without any conscious effort on her part. "If we're not happy, it's within our power to change things."
The two turned to stare at each other, dark brown eyes unblinking. Wide open, they met green-blue, stormy-almost-to-gray now.
Mac spoke first, making sure her voice was light and teasing, making very sure Harm knew she was joking. "Wanna flip for it?"
"Hell NO!" Harm did know she was just teasing, but even so …he shuddered at the memory of an ill-fated flip of a certain JAG coin. "Seriously, Mac, are you thinking what I'm thinking."
"Wellll…" Mac's voice turned contemplative. "When Keeter said he was retiring last year, I asked him if he was "sure." He said that when it's time, you just 'know' it's time to go."
Lifting his chin from her shoulder, Harm's lips caressed Mac's silky hair, longer again since she'd left I MEF, long enough for her to wear it up in a simple but elegant twist when in uniform. "Is it our time Mac?" He spoke quietly but his voice shook with suppressed excitement. In the instant, images of his life in the Navy – more than half his life now -- flooded his mind's eye, blurring together. His Academy years with Keeter, Diane and Sturgis. Pensacola. Luke marrying Annie. The early years, flying with his squadron. His ramp strike. Law school. JAG. Mac. The trips. The missions. The cases. Harriet and Bud and their children – his family of the heart. Mattie. Mac. Mahara. The 18 months in London – the "bad time" as he privately thought of it, except of course, for their darling daughter. The years in San Diego. The best years of his life. Mac. Chloe. Mattie. Mahara. The two stars on his right collar device. The wide bands of gold braid signifying 'admiral' on his shoulder boards and on the sleeves of his Service Dress Blue blouse.
"Do we want it to be?"
"Hey! We promised …." Opting to lighten the sudden tension, Harm deliberately ribbed her.
"My bad." Mac too was glad of the moment's respite, as their talking had suddenly turned serious, their most important discussion in almost two years. "I'm sorry, you're right, we promised each other, we'd never answer a question with a question."
"One of our many "we weren't communicating" downfalls, for a long time …." Harm, shook himself, well, as much as was possible even in the relatively spacious First Class seat. At least all their flying, both TAD and personal, was good for something, he thought absently. They were always able to upgrade to first class with their miles or coupons. Regulars on United's non-stops between San Diego and Dulles, every fifth trip was "free" if they wanted to upgrade with cash. They could fly around the world several times each – and take the whole family with them – with all their frequent flyer miles accumulated over the years.
"We need to be honest with each other Harm. It has to be the right time for both of us." Mac was firm. "You don't want to go to at least thirty?"
Harm's voice was low but fierce. "Mac, we don't owe anybody anything at this point. We've given more than half our lives. We've nearly given our lives. We only owe each other and our family. It nearly kills me to get on that redeye every other Sunday night. Now I know how you felt every time you deployed with I MEF. I'll have 29 years commissioned service in a few weeks and as far as I'm concerned I could retire tomorrow and be happy."
"Harm, have you been wanting to retire for a long time? Why didn't you say something?" Mac felt bad, had she once again misread her beloved husband?
"No, it wasn't time yet. I like being an admiral, I like going to work each day, I know I'm still making a contribution ….but now I want my family more, and they're in San Diego. I want to be carting my kid all over – school and skating and dancing and everything else. Mom's almost 75, Frank's 87. They won't be around forever. Chloe and Mattie'll be 26 this year – we barely made their graduation when they got their MBAs last year. I want to be there for them too."
Harm knew what he wanted; the question was, did Mac want the same. "It's time for me, if it's time for you. You like being a general, you're doing important work …..what do you want to do?"
"Breakfast, General, Admiral?" The flight attendant's cheerful voice interrupted. "I have a cheese omelet with bacon and fruit, a Belgium waffle with strawberries, or a bagel, cream cheese and lox plate. Juice and coffee?" Every flight attendant on the Dulles-San Diego run knew the beautiful Marine general and the handsome Navy admiral, in or out of uniform. The male crew discretely admired Mac, the women eyed Harm wistfully.
"It's Ms. Melton, isn't it? Could we have one of each to share?" Harm grinned up at the young woman. If it'd been one of the men, Mac would have been smiling at him, requesting the extra meal. Whichever, it always worked. They both just had that irresistible effect on the opposite sex!
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Pouring more coffee from the carafe Ms. Melton had left them, Harm repeated his question. "What do you want to do Mac? Like you said, it has to be the right time for both of us."
Mac took a deep breath. "I've done everything I want to do in the Corps. Everything I ever dreamed of and more. I've had a great career. I've lots of comfortable shoes in both my closets – in Virginia and in La Jolla…and…and I've got the good man." Her voice was resolute. "I miss them all too - I'm ready if you're ready."
"Are you sure Mac? I'm not trying to talk you out of it but you took off your uniform twice already – you weren't happy in private practice and you weren't happy in London. I didn't know it until later, but now I know you weren't."
"I'm ready." Mac was positive and her excitement glowed in her face. "I want to work with you again – like we planned when we were in London before the general called. I can't believe that was 7 ½ years ago -- It's nine years since we've worked together as partners. I think I've missed that the most of all."
Harm's grin nearly split his face. "It's a deal, Marine."
As they had done almost 15 years before on JAG HQ's doorstep, when an agreement of a different sort had been made, they solemnly shook on it, sealing the deal that would begin the next phase of their lives. But that was then and this was now. Unlike that occasion, their arms went tight around each other and their lips met in breathless anticipation and excitement.
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"Uh uh …Thank you but no, I'm swimming in coffee." Waving the offer of more coffee away, Mac returned from the restroom, dropping gracefully back into the aisle seat and turning to Harm, who'd been absently flipping the pages of the in-flight magazine while his mind tried to focus on the details.
Stretching her legs under the seat and leaning against Harm's shoulder, Mac continued their discussion. "You choose the date Harm. For the change of command and retirement ceremonies, then we'll begin terminal leave. We can put in our papers tomorrow, but the boards have to meet to choose our successors, we have to do the pre-retirement classes and our physicals, we'll want contact turnovers with our reliefs ... much as we might want to, it can't be immediate. We have to find a job, too." Now that the decision was made, Mac was eager to get on with their new life, but she knew that the wheels of the Navy and Marine Corps bureaucracy generally ground exceedingly slowly when it came to routine retirements.
Harm didn't even have to think twice. "January 3rd. The 18th anniversary of the day we met." Not tomorrow or even "soon" but with the decision made, he could wait for the details to work out and for an orderly transition.
Mac's smile lit her face. "You're on. The logistics'll be a nightmare – a Plan B'll be necessary if it's pouring rain or snow, but we can do it." Gleefully, she hugged Harm to her, kissing him lingeringly.
"Careful, Marine. We don't want to end our careers court-martialed for 'lewd and lascivious' in a public plane." Even as he said it, Harm kissed Mac back. He just couldn't help it. He was positive that when he was 100, Mac would still turn him on with just a look, let alone a kiss. "Next item. What kind of work do you think we could do?"
"Que sera sera….remember the old Doris Day song, Harm? That's how I feel – 'whatever will be, will be….'
Harm sang the refrain softly.
Que sera sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que sera sera
What will be, will be
"We can rent umbrellas on the beach…I don't care what we do, Mac, as long as we do it together."
"Actually," Mac couldn't help smirking a bit, "it may not be that hard. I got a call last week -- with everything going on with everyone back and forth between the house and the beach and the stables and Bud and Harriet's, I never got a chance to tell you. I think we can do a bit better than the umbrella concession on the beach."
"Hey – I got a call too! I didn't even think much about it, but I'm gonna call back tomorrow."
End Part I.