A Second Chance

chapter 1: the journey

1st September 1975

I didn't know what to expect. I never did.

My life was like the waves in the ocean. One moment I was feeling alive, on top of world. Next moment I knew, I hit the bottom. It was simple really, but that didn't make it any easier.

I don't know how much sense I'm making. I do that when I'm nervous, words just fly around in my head in no consecutive order. I didn't usually know what I was doing, I still don't. It's all about learning as you go, that's what my mom has told me, all these years that it's been just the two of us.

I wasn't sure I was ready for this. Hogwarts didn't seem that scary from a distance. Technically, it was just like Beauxbatons. Just another wizarding school, a castle. In all the books I'd read, it was described as a magnificent castle. It had never 8been compared to the other schools adding to my nerves. The anxiety, the fear, of the unknown.

I was fourteen when I had to leave Beauxbatons and in no way was it easy. One day, one action had changed my life more than I realized back then.

My mom didn't hesitate to come to a decision about the future, the moment I stepped foot into our cozy French house. It was never home, no matter how much both mom and I tried, it never was and never would be. We moved back to England, back to the home where it all happened. It was almost too much to handle, but I had to face it, even though that night will forever haunt me. That night will forever be carved into my memory. Nothing could change that.

My bed was soft as I sat down, sinking into the mattress. I wanted the thoughts to stop, I needed to find a way to silence them. My pickup was on my bedside table and I already knew the best way to bring an end to the circling ideas in my brain. My favorite albums are stacked in a neat box under my bed and I drag them out in search for something to do just that.

It took me a few moments to choose the best album, but I quickly land on the clear choice, as Pink Floyd's genius tunes filled the nearly empty room. I could feel myself drift into the music, enjoying the gentle music of Breathe In as it boiled up into the lyrics I could relate to so much, in a way I couldn't always explain.

I didn't want to leave. Even though it wasn't the first time, it was the one I dreaded the most. I had no idea how far Hogwarts was from Shere, the small village we lived in. I knew I needed to be ready in less than half an hour, I knew that the train that would take me to Hogwarts left from King's Cross station in London at eleven o'clock and I sighed as I checked the time. Nine thirty.

I reluctantly pushed myself off the bed and started gathering all the scattered objects I would be needing in Hogwarts. The bottom of my trunk was filled with all the books I would be needing that year, my clothes and broomstick laying on top of it.

I didn't hear the knock on my door. I didn't realize my mom had stepped inside, until she lowered the volume of the music and I turned around to see her standing by my pickup. She sent me her warm, welcoming smile, as she sat down on the bed, and made space for me to sit by her side.

She always knew when something was wrong, it wasn't hard for her to figure it out. As much as I hated it, I always wore my emotions on my sleeve, she knew. Her hand was quick to go around my shoulders as I sat down, leaning into her gentle touch. She pushed a blonde lock of hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear, before hugging me closer to her, making it hard not to break down at that moment.

She sensed the way my shoulders tensed. She knew the look on my ocean eyes. She knew that sooner or later; a tear would escape from them and slide down my cheeks studded with the freckles that intensified closer to my nose. So, she held me tight, securing me in place. I didn't notice it then, but I. do now. My mom always knew what to do, for as long as I could remember, she always had an answer and more frequently than not, it was the answer I needed.

"You're so brave, sweetheart," her voice pulled me out of my train of thought. I met her gaze and I saw the smile on her face, a smile I couldn't quite meet, not yet.

"I don't feel brave…" I whispered back, leaning forward against her chest.

"That's okay." The same strand fell back in front of my eyes and she pushed it away again. "But don't doubt yourself. You've been through so much, hun. It's normal to feel scared."

"I'm not normal," I replied, although I knew she never implied anything like that.

"There's no such thing as normal, hun, you need to understand that. The only thing there, are close-minded people that think of themselves as better than everyone else. Everyone is unique, whether they like that or not is their problem, but you can't let them bring you down."

I smiled at her through the lump in my throat. I already knew what the result of the conversation would be, but I didn't brush away the tear that slid down my cheek, landing on her shoulder.

"And that's why you're brave. You don't let them bring you down…there are so many ways they could find to hurt you, but you defy them and all their expectations. I'm so proud of you, sweetie, and I know your dad would have been too," she said, smiling slightly, as she brushed away the tears that now started flowing freely from my eyes.

"Thank you, mom…"

"I love you, hun," she said bringing me back into her embrace.

"I love you too."

"And you are going to love Hogwarts. It is a beautiful place. It felt like home after a month there…"

"I really hope I do," I said, tears drained as a new feeling took over my chest. Hope.

"You will. I have no doubt about that."

We stayed silent for a few moments, before my mom glanced out of the wide window, staring into the forest that started right after our backyard. "The full moon is on Thursday, right?" she asked and I nodded.

I hated the full moon, I still do. It's the one night in the whole month that I never sleep. I couldn't even if I wanted to. During those agonizing hours, I'm no longer Rebecca White. I am a hurtful, flesh-hungry monster.

Werewolves are hated by everyone. Even Muggles write stories in which werewolves are attacking humans. They aren't human in those stories, just like I'm not myself.

The only difference is that in those stories, the werewolves are constantly the monsters. In reality, I am that monster once a month.

I never chose for that to happen. When that werewolf bulged into my home seven years ago, I didn't think that I'd. wake up a few hours later with no dad and a new challenge every month. He wasn't out of control. That was just who he was. Fenrir Greyback.

He's the reason that werewolves have gained such a horrible reputation. It's no secret that he loves to attack young children to transform them into werewolves. He is a monster, but that doesn't mean all other werewolves are the same.

I had never hurt anyone other than myself on a full moon, my mom helped make sure of that. She had helped me more than she could understand. Not once did she do anything other than support me. Based on what she'd told me, I was the reason she hadn't given up after losing Dad.

The train station wasn't as empty as I had hoped it would be. There were people filing in and out of trains and platforms, rushing past us to make it to their designated destination on time. It was stressful.

My mom led the way through the crowd, pushing the kart with my trunk and Aida, my snowy owl, on top of it. I followed close behind, glancing around in confusion, as she went in the barrier in between platforms nine and ten. But, platform nine and three quarters was nowhere to be seen.

She came to a stop a few paces in front of a brick column on the barrier and turned to look at me.

"Ready?" she asked.

"For what?" Before I could question her even more, she grabbed my hand and dragged me behind her, as she rushed into a quick pace, heading straight into the wall. I didn't have a moment to stop her and I closed my eyes, bracing myself for the hit, but it never came.

We kept walking, so I opened my eyes. What stood in front of me was yet another reason that magic fascinated me so much, even though it was all I had known all my life.

Behind the brick wall, stood another platform, hidden from plain sight. Platform nine and three quarters. There were more people in just that one platform than in the rest of the train station. Students were filing in and out of the large bright red train and I saw the name, Hogwarts Express, painted across the front.

I followed her as she approached the train, stopping in front an empty compartment. Before she could fully turn around, I had engulfed her in a tight embrace.

"I love you," she whispered in my ear and I held her tighter.

"I love you more!"

"Impossible…"

She softly kissed the top of my head, before stepping back to look me in the eye.

"This is your year, sweetheart. Don't let anyone bring you down," she said and I smiled.

"I won't…"

Just then, a whistle came from the train, marking that it would be leaving in five minutes. I took the handle of my trunk in my hand and Aida's cage on the other, before biding my mom goodbye and boarding the train.

The compartment we had stopped outside of was indeed empty and I stepped inside without any second thoughts, dragging the heavy trunk behind me. I quickly took anything I might have needed in the train out of the trunk, before trying and failing to hoist it up on the overhead compartments.

I wasn't short, I could reach the compartment easily, but I didn't have the strength I needed to hoist the heavy trunk on top of the rank. I tried a few more times, stopping a moment before the trunk fell on my head.

At that moment, the compartment door slid open and a tall boy around my age stepped inside. His long raven hair was tousled on one side, falling slightly past his shoulders, complimenting his sharp jaw line and high cheekbones. His ice-cold grey gaze fell on me in a second, a smirk overtaking his features.

"Want some help over there?"

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes at his obvious flirting. Ready to tell him off, I realized that I really did need his help. If he didn't help me, I would have been forced to leave my trunk on the floor instead.

"Yes, please," I sighed, finally.

Without another, but with a bright mischievous glint in his eyes, the boy hoisted the trunk from the chair to the overhead rank in a graceful move.

"Thanks…"

"Pleasure, love." I rolled my eyes at this comment. He seemed to be ready to leave, when he remembered something and stood firmly on his feet. "Actually, do you mind if we sit here? All the other compartments are full," he nodded at three other guys waiting outside the compartment.

The first of the three had rectangular glasses, towering over his hazel eyes and dark brown short hair that was flying in every possible direction.

The one standing next to him was short and plump, with golden hair and rat-like features. He was listening animatedly to whatever the first was saying and the admiration in his eyes was obvious from a mile away.

He last was standing behind the two, tall and lanky. His narrow face was filled with scars and the exhaustion was visible through his brown gaze. His light brown hair was just long enough to be tousled to the side of his face.

"Sure, go ahead."

I sat down by the window, glancing outside as we slowly left the busy streets of London behind us. The train was quick to accelerate once we reached the start of the green fields stretching into an endless maze, disrupted once in a while by a small village in the middle of nowhere. It didn't take long for me to realize we were headed north.

"Blondie," I turned around at the abrupt voice, obviously directed at me.

"Please don't call me that…" I shot back at the guy who helped me with my trunk a few moments earlier.

"What should I call you, then?" He challenged me, smirk wider than ever.

"By my name."

He shook his head at me, tutting along. "Umm, I don't actually know your name…"

I opened my mouth to retort, before shutting it abruptly as I realized that he had a point. "Rebecca White."

"Have you ever heard that opposites attract?" His question caught me off-guard for a second as I nodded. "Black and white are opposites, wouldn't you say?" My eyebrows had almost shot up to my hairline at his question and I nodded again. "Well in that case, I'm Sirius Black…"

I groaned loudly at his comment resigning to the urge to face-palm myself. "That was the worst attempt at flirting I have ever heard…"

The shock that overtook the boy's features made it obvious to me that it was something he did often and never received a similar reaction, but something told me I wouldn't be interested in a relationship for a while.

"I feel insulted…" he commented and I rolled my eyes.

"Umm, that was the point…" I pointed out.

In the midst of our discussion, I hadn't realized that the other three had broken down in laughter at my reply and Sirius' reaction.

"You're mean," he added and I sighed.

"Again, that was the point."

"I think you just broke Sirius…" the tall boy with the scars pointed out and I flipped my hair off my shoulder.

"It wasn't hard…" I pointed out, sending the other three in a new fit of loud, obnoxious laughter.

"I don't like you," Sirius added, eyes narrowed at me in feign anger.

"Oh, Sirius, don't worry. I don't like you either…"

"That's a first," the one with the glasses pointed out, urging Sirius to roll his eyes.

"Figured as much…" I commented.

"You're not helping your case…" he shouted at me.

"I wasn't trying to," I shouted back and he groaned.

"I like you," the guy with the scars told me and I turned to glance at him.

"You seem nice enough…" I commented earning myself a chuckle, "though I still don't know your name…"

"Right. I'm Remus Lupin," he said and I smiled at him. "And that's James Potter and Peter Pettigrew," he pointed at the boy with the glasses and the plump one respectively.

"Cool, it's nice to meet you…" I said, then glanced at Sirius, a mischievous grin playing on my lips. "You three at least…"

"Ugh, you keep stabbing me in the heart, love," he groaned and I rolled my eyes.

"Don't call me that."

"Okay, okay, fine…"

"Good."

"So, mystery girl, what house are you in?" Sirius asked me after a few minutes of silence.

"I don't know…" I said and he raised his eyebrows at me.

"What do you mean you don't know…?" he asked me and I sighed.

"This is my first year at Hogwarts…" I explained. "I used to live in France, so I went to Beauxbatons…"

"Oh, how was it?" Remus joined in and I shrugged.

"I didn't really like the school. It was a bit…much for me."

He sent me a small sympathetic smile.

"How come you don't have an accent?" Sirius asked and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm British, you idiot…" he glared at me after I replied to his question.

"Then, what were you doing in France?"

"It's a long story and not one I want to go into right now…"

"Okay, since you're not sorted into a house, yet, then in which house would you like to be sorted into?" James asked and I shrugged once more.

"I couldn't care less…"

"That's a lie. Everyone cares even a little bit in which house they'll be sorted into…" he said and I shook my head.

"Not me. I could be sorted in Slytherin for all I care. It really doesn't matter to me…"

My answer seemed to spark an interest in all four of them and they turned to look at me as if I was out of this world. "You're crazy," Peter said, marking the first time I heard him say anything.

"I pride myself in that…" I smiled.

The journey to Hogwarts was slowly coming to an end by the time I opened my eyes and glanced out of the window to find that the sky had turned into a dramatically dark shade of blue in contrast to the light blue it had been when I had fallen asleep.

After a few hours spent reading my book, a Muggle mystery novel with a ground shaking plot twist I had uncovered five pages before finishing the story, I leaned against the window and slowly drifted into unconsciousness.

Pushing my blonde wild mane out of my face, I turned to the guys who were still chatting animatedly even though we had already spent hours in the train with not much else to do.

"Do I need to change before we get to the school?" I asked Remus and he glanced up from his book to nod.

I sent him a grateful smile, before grabbing my robes from my trunk and skirting off in the direction of the bathroom, feeling a little more optimistic than I had been earlier that day…

Even if this year was filled with constant quarreling with Sirius or I don't know who else, it couldn't be worse than the previous year…