And A Bottle of Rum

By Brenna "Snakelady" Dawkins

A One Piece Fanfic

Disclaimer: All characters are owned by Eiichiro Oda. I own nothing. Nothing I tell you! No money was made from this fic.

Rating: R

Summary: A bet, some alcohol, virginity lost… someone gets their feelings hurt, not whom you might think! Romance? Angst! Sexual Content.

(AN: A few characters might be a little oc. Didn't mean for Nami to come out of this being the bitch, just sorta happened. My first piece of One Piece fanfic and hopefully not my last! Oh and I took one of those Pirate Name polls, so my pirate name is officially Black Jenny Flint! Enjoy!)

"He is not."

"He is so."

"He is not."

"He is so!"

"What are you two going on about?" Zoro had been passing by and overheard part of their squabble.

Luffy spoke up, "We're trying to figure out if Usopp is a virgin or not."

Zoro stared at them unbelieving. "That's what the big debate is over?"

Luffy nodded, his typical silly grin in place. "I say he isn't."

"Well, I say he IS!" Nami repeated huffily.

"I say leave it alone." Zoro suggested wisely, but knew his comment would only fall on deaf ears.

"He is not."

"He is so!"

"Bet you he is not!" Luffy crossed his lanky arms.

"Bet you he IS!" Nami said hotly and never liking to lose.

"How much?"

"What?" She blinked.

"How much you wanna bet?" Luffy asked innocently.

Nami tapped her chin with her finger in thought, "A gold piece."

"Five." Luffy said.

"Fine, five gold pieces."

"And a ruby."

Nami raised her eyebrow. "Well, it's not like I'm gonna lose, so sure."

"Um, how are we going to find out if he is?"

Nami shrugged, "It's not like you can trust to ask him. Not only is he a liar, but what man WOULD tell the truth about this?"

"Unbelievable." Zoro muttered disgusted and stalked away, wanting no part of it.

The lone female pirate ignored Zoro's exit, her mind was fixed thoroughly upon the crux of the problem.

"A party." Nami said finally. "With alcohol. Lots of it."

"I love parties! Who's it for?" Luffy said excitedly.

Nami slid him a glance full of annoyance. "It's just an excuse to get Usopp drunk. Drunk people are sometimes much more honest then most."

"But all of us are invited, right?" Luffy asked hopefully.

"Of course, Luffy, you're the one throwing the party!" She rolled her eyes.

"Yay!" Luffy ran off to plan the merrymaking.

Nami just smiled to herself.

It was later that evening. Very later. Nami guessed it to be close to midnight. Over half of the kegs Luffy had managed to scrounge were drained dry. Nami waded through a gaggle of drunken pirates. She avoided the grabbing hands and skipped over long legs and prone bodies as she made her way to the bow of the boat where Usopp happened to take roost with his full mug.

Sanji was suddenly there impeding her view and her way. She scrunched her nose at the sour smell of his breath after too much alcohol. He teetered there in front of her, smiling, confident, and completely drunk.

"Not now, Sanji. Not ever." Nami had to remind the cook for the forty millionth time.

He leaned forward, not to get closer, but because he was none too steady. "Still can't hurt to ask, can it?"

She slapped him on the cheek. Hard. He teetered back from the blow and hit the deck unconscious. "Yes… it can."

Stepping over the drunken thief, she continued on to where Usopp was. The tall sniper was leaning against the frame, mug of rum in hand and was staring off across the starry sky. He was not taking part with the rest of the revelry for some reason. But at the moment, she didn't care why. She was on a mission and she didn't like to lose. He was going to tell her what she wanted to know.

"Hey, Usopp, freshen up your mug?" She smiled and held out one of the extra mugs she carried. The other was for her. She might have to get very drunk in order to carry out her plan B if plan A didn't work.

Usopp looked over his shoulder, saw her offer, quickly downed the rest of his rum and then tossed the empty mug over the railing. "Sure. Thanks."

She handed the fresh mug to him and took a swig from her own.

"Why aren't choo wit' th' others?" Usopp asked.

His slurred speech was enough to tell her that he was already as drunk as the rest of the questionable crew. She smiled. Time to use her womanly wiles. Always a good idea when it comes to getting what you wanted.

Nami leaned up against the rail next to him and gazed out towards the vastness. "Didn't want to be around a bunch of grabby guys."

"Um," Usopp nervously noted how close she was standing to him. He took another swig of rum and wiped his chin with his arm. Since when had she trusted him, he wondered?

"Heard any more from Kaya?" She asked.

He frowned and turned his gaze back on the deep dark. It stung. He missed what had probably been his closest friend ever. He kept meaning to go back and visit, but they were pirates and their course steered them further and further from the only home he had ever known. He'd been thinking of Kaya and had fallen into a depression, which had only worsened due to the drink.

They didn't get much if any mail. She'd known if he'd ever gotten a letter from Kaya, so why'd she ask? His stare angled down to the inside of his mug and he sighed.

"You and her were awful close."

He barely nodded and wished the alcohol did a better job at numbing that pain.

"Boyfriend and girlfriend?"

His look slid sideways so he had her in his sights. Why was she grilling him like that, he had to wonder. "No, n'thin' like that."

"You mean after all that time, you and her never… you know." She prompted.

Usopp clenched his eyes closed and gripped the mug handle. He had wanted to, God yes he'd wanted to be with Kaya in that way! But she hadn't been ready and he didn't want to push her, he didn't want her to have any excuse to hate him. So he held back.

"Never." He said sadly and gulped down his ale. His vision was starting to get bleary from the drink and he burped.

"Must've been rough." Nami pressed on.

She had no idea, he thought grimly.

"So you have never… with anyone?" She continued.

He looked back her way, the pain evident on his face. He never was very good at hiding his emotions and being drunk certainly didn't help. Then he remembered that he was a liar and was pretty damn good at it too.

It took a great deal of effort to laugh. But he did. He laughed and twisted his unhappy visage into a big, false grin. "Are you kidding? I'm th' world's greatest lover! Women come from miles around jus' to be in my bed!"

Nami didn't mention that she had yet to see a single woman though. She finished her mug and went to fill it again. There was only one way now to find out whether or not Usopp was a virgin. She'd need a few more drinks though before it'd come to that.

"World's greatest, huh?" After a few more gulps of the burning liquid, Nami was feeling a bit lightheaded. She was a lightweight when it came to drinking so it didn't take much.

"You bet!" Usopp lied through his teeth. "I'm th' God of Love!"

Another swig of drink. "Show me." Nami burbled.

Usopp froze. "Um, wha'?"

She set her mug down on the flat railing and leaned into Usopp, looking up at him. It was a long way up. "Prove it, loverboy."

Suddenly he was having trouble breathing as he stared down at her. She was pretty. He always had thought so. So why did he think he was imagining things? Things like her saying she wanted him to make love to her. He'd never had a girl throw herself at him before so he had no idea how to react. A very pretty girl wanted him and he was speechless… real good!

"You're such a smooth talker!" She teasingly traced a finger down his overall strap. This was the only way she could think of to win that bet with Luffy. No WAY was she going to give up any of her booty on a bet! "Let's go to my quarters, then you can show me your prowess."

Usopp blindly followed the strange female to her private quarters.

She didn't bed down with the rest of the male crew. It just wouldn't have been prudent. So she had her own room to herself. It was the only place on the ship she knew of where she'd have the privacy to find out just how experienced Usopp really was.

Once in the quarters, she pranced over to the bed and lay upon it, staring up at the lanky individual who was fidgeting where he was standing… still at the door.

"Well?" Nami cooed at him, lounging on the bed in a seductive pose.

"Um-m-m-m." Usopp poked his two fingers together nervously and stared down at his hands.

"You going to make me beg?" Nami pouted at him.

Usopp's breath caught in his throat. Her big eyes batted at him and she slid down the bed so her head was closer to the pillow and opened her legs so they splayed wide. She was still fully clothed but Usopp thought he had never seen something quite so erotic as that before. Of course, he'd never been in the presence of a naked woman before either, so that wasn't saying much.

"Gonna join me or what?" She asked.

"Sure?" Usopp took a few more steps into the room but stopped short of the bed. His heart was racing and his muddled mind was trying to cope with the new and unusual situation. "You serious, right?"

"Come here, Usopp." She put more command into her tone.

Usopp made it those last few steps. His shins bumped the edge of the bed. He took a deep breath and crawled onto the bed. He stayed on the far edge of the bed though, staring across what felt like miles to where she lay.

It was obvious to Nami how nervous he was. She smiled, already knowing she was going to win the bet. But she needed better proof then that. She sat up and crawled over to Usopp who appeared to actually be cowering there at the end of the bed. She crawled up until she was nose to chest to him and then stopped, then began to slowly unbuckle his overall straps.

Usopp's heart sped up and he froze in place. He didn't say a word or move a muscle as he watched her release first one strap, then the other. The front of his overalls flapped down exposing his bare chest. She could see by the rise of his chest that he was breathing too fast. Nami rested her hand against that chest. It wasn't strong, but it wasn't weak either. Usopp was lean and wiry. Lanky. He wasn't a stand up fighting guy though he knew how to take some lumps. He did hold a few scars from certain brawls, so his skin was not baby smooth, but it wasn't as cut up as Zoro's.

She leaned in and kissed that chest. She felt and heard Usopp gasp and grinned to herself. She should have upped the ante of the bet!

Nami roved over his chest, planting feather light kisses over the pecks. Usopp was taking deep breaths, trying to calm his pounding heart. He closed his eyes, enjoying the moment thoroughly. He'd never had this kind of pleasant physical contact before! What he wanted was for those lips to press into his own but he didn't want to interrupt her. He was afraid to touch her, afraid that if he touched her she'd stop for some reason or other and he'd be left wanting. So he kept his hands at his side and let her do to him as she pleased.

She moved up and began to nibble along his neck and he let out a long sigh. Her tongue and teeth worked over one of his tendons, lightly. Then she moved up and locked her lips onto his startled ones. He leaned into the kiss and kissed her back most eagerly.

He didn't know how to kiss, she noted. He was all over her face and didn't know what he should be doing with his tongue. Annoyed, she grabbed his head between both hands to still its movements and forced him to stay on her mouth. Maybe she could teach him a little something if nothing else. He wasn't going to leave her bed ignorant in the ways of love.

He was behaving himself. Apparently he'd gotten the message and his lips stayed put against hers. She pried his mouth open and initiated some tongue on tongue action. Several breathless moments later she finally released him, leaving him gasping for air.

Usopp was left speechless. The liar sat there as his heart tried to leap from his throat. He ached to touch her, but was afraid of the consequences. He so didn't want her to stop or change her mind over some stupid thing he did. But his hands felt so useless just hanging there at his side. He felt he should be doing something reciprocal. She began to move down again, kissing his throat, his chest… she pulled his overalls down a little lower so that his flattened stomach was exposed. Nami licked that too and it quivered under those tender ministrations.

The pretty navigator unbuttoned the side of his overalls and slid them down even lower so that his boxers showed. She could see how ready he was even through the printed material. Nami sat up again and removed her shirt, showing she had no bra on that day.

Usopp stared at those full breasts just a few inches from him. So close, and yet… so far! They were amazing, frightening, alluring! His hands twitched at his sides, but his fear controlled his will and they stayed down at his side.

"Touch me." She traced his chin with her fingers.

The liar blinked and was clearly shocked. He opened his mouth to say something but she pressed her finger against it to keep him from doing anything stupid.

His hands trembled as they reached up and caressed her breasts. She smiled up at him, amazing herself for letting things go so far with him. He wasn't ever her first choice of people to sleep with on the Go Merry. Hell, he wasn't even the third choice. But she had a bet to win and a point to make.

Usopp experimentally pinched and rolled her nipples between his callused fingers. His eyes bulged and he licked his very dry lips. He had a sudden idea how to get some moisture to flowing. It'd always been something he'd wanted to do. The sniper leaned in and drew the hard nipple of his fellow pirate into his mouth. It was mind blowing! He heard her suck in her breath at the sensual encounter and was very pleased that he was able to give back some of that pleasure. His hands wrapped around her tiny waste and he drew her in closer to him. She didn't protest. In fact, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed him in even further.

He was so stiff it was almost painful. He wanted to be inside her, to feel what it was like to make love at long last! Usopp felt her drag his boxers down and he was suddenly unfettered. She slipped off her own shorts and tossed them aside. The liar was suddenly pressed against her bare flesh. His hands roamed that smooth flesh, reveling in the sensation. He moved to taste the other nipple and his hand bravely slid down her belly and found the nest of hair at her crotch.

She didn't make a move to stop him so he went even further down, exploring the mysterious crevasse he'd always wondered about. His fingers slipped in between the sensitive folds, finding it already wet. He continued to suckle her as he delved below.

He gasped and tensed at the feel of cool hands encircling his member.

She stroked him, slowly, delicately, feeling every ridge, every crease, feeling the sticky fluid that was leaking out of the tip. Nami slicked up his staff with that fluid with her hand as Usopp fumbled below, trying to find that elusive hole of hers. He was having trouble, he had no idea where it was.

Nami suddenly grasped his hand and pulled it away. He panicked. Had he done something wrong already? Usopp was about to back off when she lay down, grabbing hold of him, which pretty much forced him to lie down too… right on top of Nami.

"In me!" She commanded, pulling him flat down along her body.

Usopp stared at her face, drink muzzled brain trying to comprehend the fact that he was about to get laid for the first time and really had no clue what to do. He pressed down, his stiff member slipped down in between that slick crevasse, desperately searching for the hole.

Nami was getting impatient. It didn't take much of a brain to realize that Usopp hadn't a clue. She grabbed him again and with her aide, he slipped inside. Her back bowed at his entrance and he gasped again at the feel of her walls closing in on him.

He'd never felt ANYTHING like this before! He lay there, panting, sweat already beading upon his forehead and upper body and stared into her lovely face. She wanted him. She had come to him! He'd no idea that she had harbored such feelings for him! She'd been so vocal about hating pirates before, and now this? He was confused, but who cared? He was having sex with a beautiful woman! Sanji'd simply have a brain aneurysm if he found out he'd gotten to Nami before the cook had ever gotten the chance!

It was heaven! He moved, she moved with him! He'd slipped out accidentally after the first five thrusts and she had to replace him each time. But it hadn't mattered!

'I'm having sex! I'm having sex! I'm having sex!' Was the drunken mantra that rambled through his muzzled mind with each maddened thrust.

It hadn't taken long either, for that long sought after orgasm. His very first! He actually saw stars and threw his head back, calling Nami's name in the throws of ecstasy. Usopp was sweating and panting heavily after the exertion. He flopped down on top of her, exhausted, apparently unaware that his partner had yet come to the same pleasure.

Not that she was anywhere close to coming… let's face it, she mused to herself, she wasn't even in the same area code as Usopp. She won and grinned to herself, not caring that Usopp hadn't brought her to peak. She could always take care of that later herself.

Usopp rolled over in the bed and promptly passed out.

"Hey, you aren't sleeping here in MY bed!" She complained. But it was useless. Usopp was not moving an inch. He was already snoring rather loudly.

She groaned and sat up. She'd have to clean her sheets tomorrow. It'd be worth it though, because tomorrow she'd get to make the Captain pay up. Now, she had herself to clean up. She was covered in hers and Usopp's sweat as well as his final expression of love. Having sex never was very clean.

The next day, Nami approached Luffy who was hanging out on the deck. "Hey Captain, a bet is a bet, now pay up!"

"What?"

"You owe me five gold pieces and a ruby!" Her hand was out to accept the payment.

Luffy stared at her hand disbelieving. "He told you he's a virgin?"

Nami grinned evilly, "Nope."

"Then I'm not paying." Luffy crossed his arms defiantly.

"He showed me."

Luffy gawked at her. "Showed you? Uh-h-h how?"

Her grin grew bigger, "Well, the best he could, anyway, which wasn't that great."

"I don't get it."

Nami rolled her eyes again. Sometimes the kid was so thick sculled! "I had sex with him, okay? If that's what you'd actually call it." She said in after thought.

They both heard a sob from behind Nami. Luffy leaned over to see past Nami as Nami turned to see who had made the pathetic sound. Usopp stood there, face looking simply wretched, body frozen in mid step, hands dropped at his side, in one was grasped a bouquet of flowers that looked to have been pilfered from the sconce in the kitchen, some that Nami had picked during their last landfall. They were sort of wilty by then and they were dripping water over his shoes, not that Usopp took any notice.

"Um." Luffy was at a loss for anything more to say while Nami couldn't think of a single word after the fact.

Usopp turned and bolted, leaving the sad looking flowers in a puddle on the floor.

Zoro jumped down from his perch, having witnessed everything. He confronted his two crewmates, not toning down the disgust in his voice one bit.

"I told you two to back off of this subject. Are you two happy now? Usopp's got enough issues, do you guys really need add to them?"

"She started it!" Luffy pointed an accusing finger at the glaring female.

"I did not!"

"I didn't tell you to make him fall in love with you!" Luffy complained.

"He isn't in love with me! It was a one night stand!" Nami shot back.

"He brought you flowers!"

"So?"

"You made him cry!"

"Come on, pirates don't cry! I've never seen a pirate cry!"

"Nami!" Zoro growled.

"It's not my fault!" Nami stomped her foot. "Anyway, I got sheets to wash. If you'll excuse me!"

She brushed past them both, angry that Luffy hadn't paid her as promised.

"That……. Girl!" Zoro snorted and walked off in Usopp's direction.

Zoro found the liar, crumbled at the port of the ship, crying his eyes out. He sighed and sauntered up to the heartbroken sharpshooter.

"She isn't worth it, Usopp." He meant for it to sound comforting, but it only made Usopp cry that much harder. The swordsman frowned. "Usopp, hey, can you stop crying for just a moment? Kind of hard to talk to you when you do that."

Usopp took a few moments before he was able to get the tears under some sort of control, but he was sniffing constantly. His eyes were red and he suffered a rather screaming headache from the rum from the night before, but he didn't care about the headache… or the accompanying nausea. What he cared about was that he'd been made a fool of. It hadn't been love after all! It had been a game! A cruel, cruel game to her! Just thinking about it brought the flood of tears back and he sobbed out loud again. He grabbed Zoro by the shirt and cried on his shoulder… literally.

Zoro sighed again and let the man fall apart. He was a pirate, a fighter, what did he know about comfort and empathy? Nami and Luffy, they should have known better! But damn it! Why should he be the one to pick up the pieces?

Usopp was pressed up against him, nearly hanging off of his shoulder as he clung to his fellow shipmate. His face was pressed into Zoro's chest and the man looked about him uncomfortably, glaring with looks that could kill at any crewmate that passed by who was about to utter some smart remark about the odd situation. They wisely kept their lips shut and hurried past. This was so not his cup of tea.

"There… um, there." Zoro awkwardly patted the liar's back.

Usopp had Zoro's shirt clutched in a death grip between two fists. His head rested on a damp spot on the material where his tears and snot had soaked in. But he didn't move to a dryer local. It was oddly comforting, and with that feeling, his jumbled thoughts began to sort themselves out painfully, slowly. His sobbing eased and he was grateful that the swordsman was there for him. His sniffling was still convulsive, and his tears still wetted his eyes, but he was quiet now. He knew his face was all puffy and red but he didn't care. He still clung there like a leach to the swordsman unabashed at his demeanor. His heart had been broken, what did it matter how things must look now?

Zoro still rubbed the man's back intermittently, looking about him, not really sure what he should say. Best to let the man let it all out of his system. Then he spotted the Captain coming towards them. It looked like he was carrying something that looked like it could be food. Zoro's frown deepened. At a time like this, how can he think of his stomach?

"Usopp?" The Captain came to a stop before them and held out the tray of food he was holding. Zoro craned his head to see what it was. It looked like hot sticky rice crudely molded into the shape of a mermaid with ramen noodles for hair, two slices of black olive for her breasts, and a dab of red pimento for the vagina, molded onto a half of a huge scallop shell. "Made something for you!"

Usopp slowly turned and looked over his shoulder to see the peace offering his Captain had made. He sniffled but would not let go of his crewman's shirt.

"What's that?"

"Mermaid on the halfshell!" Luffy grinned and tried to get Usopp to accept the gift.

Usopp stared through red eyes and sniffled some more.

"I don't understand." Usopp said, voice thick from the tears.

Zoro watched and listened to the whole exchange in silence, his hand still upon the liar's back, aware that Usopp still had a death grip on him and not caring. For some reason he felt oddly protective of the lanky sniper and reflexively clutched at the man's shoulder.

"Um, would it help to know that I bet that you WEREN'T a virgin?"

Usopp winced at the word. Virgin. Well, he sure wasn't one any longer, thanks to Nami's manipulations.

"Usopp?" Zoro prompted the liar softly, his eyes on his Captain.

"I thought… I thought it was real." Usopp muttered and turned back only to bury his head back into the swordsmans chest.

Luffy was frowning and stood there, shuffling his feet. "I didn't know what she planned on doing, honest. She was supposed to just ask. No harm in that, right?"

"But why'd you lay the bet in the first place?" Usopp's voice still held the pain of it all.

"I dunno… there wasn't anything else to do and you had walked by, then… well…" Luffy shrugged helplessly.

"You need more hobbies, Luffy." Zoro admonished.

"I'm sorry, Usopp. Please don't hate me anymore!" Luffy pleaded desperately.

Usopp snuffled again and used Zoro's shirt to dab his eyes. "I don't hate you, Captain."

Luffy grinned in relief. Zoro patted the man's back again.

"What about Nami?"

Luffy blinked. "Why? Do you hate her?"

"You at least tried to make amends, Captain. I recognize that and appreciate it." Usopp snuffled again, one hand released Zoro's shirt, but the other one refused to give up full contact. "What about Nami?"

"I'll get her so you two can kiss and make up!" Luffy raised his finger in the air at the proclamation, set down his peace offering, then turned and bolted to find the navigator.

Usopp sighed and leaned into Zoro once more, face back into the wet spot he'd created on the mans shirt. He thought of Kaya once more and wondered if he'd betrayed her by sleeping with Nami. It was a bitter thought and he squeezed his eyes shut and tried to force himself to not think about his childhood crush. He didn't know what he'd do or say to Nami. He'd been played the fool. Honestly, he should be used to it by now. It still didn't make things any easier though.

It wasn't long until Luffy was dragging a protesting Nami before Usopp and Zoro.

"Well?" Luffy waited, placed his hands on his hips, tapped his foot, and glared at Nami.

Nami glared back at Luffy. "Where's my money?"

Luffy shook his head, then jammed his hand into his pocket, then drew out the ten gold pieces and a shiny, uncut ruby and one sapphire.

Nami's eyes lit up. "Now, that's more like it!"

"What? I was going to give these to Usopp." Luffy beamed at her and offered the booty to a surprised sniper.

Nami's jaw dropped. "WHAT?"

Luffy handed Usopp the prize, Usopp stared down into his hand uncomprehending but silent.

Luffy shrugged, "Usopp and I had a bet going, we wanted to see how far you'd go to win at a bet." Luffy's grin broadened. "He won."

"You're joking! No way!" Nami looked from Luffy to Usopp and then back again. "But… but…" She stammered at a loss for words.

Usopp decided to play along, he bravely released Zoro who sat back to watch the show with interest.

"Boy, did you fall for it!" Usopp laughed heartily and pretended to wipe tears from his eyes. "Do I deserve an Oscar for that performance or what? She actually believed it was my first time!"

Luffy laughed along with him while Zoro just watched feeling rather confused by it all.

"No, you couldn't have… you didn't know anything about… sex!" Nami burbled.

Usopp doubled over, grabbing his side from all the laughing and pointed at her, "You went straight for the mark! Yes you did!"

"Im-pos-sible!" Nami took a step back, eyes wide, wanting to disbelieve everything. It had been a trick then? A lie? Usopp was not a virgin after all? Nami turned red and rushed away, embarrassed by it all.

After she was well and truly out of earshot, Usopp and Luffy stopped their antics and regained their composure.

"That was pretty quick thinking, Luffy. Thanks." Usopp admitted.

"Wait, did you… just lie, Luffy?" Zoro asked trying to break down what had just happened.

Luffy grinned boyishly up at his crewmate and nodded. "Yup! Well, Zoro you said I needed a new hobby."

"I didn't mean lying." Zoro replied dryly.

"Why not? I learned from the best!" He beamed at Usopp who grinned weakly back at his manic Captain. Usopp supposed he should learn to take a complement whenever and however he could get one. So he took it and ran.

The End