ScrewedBob SquarePanties -- Episode Five: Dick All

This story is based on the SpongeBob SquarePants episode "Ripped Pants" but, sadly, I do not own this episode of SpongeBob, or any episodes, characters, or scenarios. Nick does. If you want actual SpongeBob stuff not written by a nobody high-school kid, go to and their surrounding companies. This is pure fiction, and is for enjoyment (?) and humour (?) purposes (dosen't meet eithor expectation, but...). It is rated M for Mature for the usual and so much more: mild (sadly, I know) sexual description, many harsh depictions of blood and gore, and TONNES of foul language and it might even contradict some people's religion. Basically put, it's not kids stuff. Curious George is. Go buy that kind of media if you are at risk of throwing up if you read such descriptive media, and avoid this please. Don't let your 4-year-old children read this and send me cursed bootleg copies of "The Ring". I won't care. I'll laughed at you for spending $2 on shipping and at me for being cursed. If you read this, your dick will grow 6 inches!!! If you had one before or not. If that's good or bad I'll leave for you to decide.

Ah, it's Goo Lagoon. A piece of Mr. Krabs stanky liquid shit to you or me, but to Bikini Bottom, it's where hookers unwind and undress... in Mr. Krabs stanky liquid shit.

SpongeBob is off in the sand (which is actually the eroded parts of Mr. Krabs sperm cells) building sculptures. He sculpts really small testicles and pop eyes on himsef.

"Look, I'm Mr. Krabs" SpongeBob yells, adapting a fake accent. "Arr... I ate 2 tacos... and I only needed one... OH NO!! LIQUID SHIT!! Damn, it hurts!! Uh, I'm never gonna get a hooker again after this gets on the news. Hahahahahhhaaahaha" he laughed his gay-ass constipated-cat sounding laugh.

"You ruined that with your shitty laugh, R-tard" Sandy sighed.

"Well, then..." SpongeBob said "I'll shutup." His plan lasted about two seconds. "Wait, I'm Squidward" he said, adapting Squidwards accent. "SpongeBob, I don't want to get laid with anyone except Clarry. My Clairanet. Her hole looks kind of like a vagana, except I get cum in my mouth when I play Mozart."

Sandy started laughing. "What the hell are you doing, Sandy?" SpongeBob was such an unfunny, horny, perverted bastard that the last time he heard a girl laugh was on Paris Hilton's sex-tape on YouTube. "Are you having an orgasam again?" he asked. Sandy stopped instantly. "Aaand you ruined the moment again." "Oh, shit. Could I have ripped off your clothes and done you?" he asked. "Yeah" she awnsered sadly and dreamily, wondering what life would be like if SpongeBob was straight and they could actually do it if she wasn't in a Patrick mask shoving a dildo up his ass. "Damn" SpongeBob said, badly pretending to give a rat's ass.

"Hey" Larry said. Sandy secretly wanted to do Larry. In fact, she secretly wanted to do everyone in town. Except Mr. Krab. Hell, she'd seen his liquid shit. "Hey" she said hornily. Larry, hoping to score, replied "So you want to go pump some iron?... and by some, I mean my... and by iron, I mean DICK!!!!"

"Sure!" she said happily. "Can I..." SpongeBob interupted "Yeah, whatever, like that's gonna happen!" Larry said sarcastically. SpongBob, being a dumbass, thought he was serious. He was wearing such tight squarepants, thast when his cock went horny to it's full one inch, his pants ripped off, revealing his unnaturally small boner. Everyone cracked up instantly. Scooter walked up to SpongeBob, and yelled "Look, it's SpongeBoner SquarePants." Everyone laughed even harder. "Thanks!" he took it as a compliment and walked away.

Larry and Sandy were playing hot naked volleyball. It landed on Larrys prick and popped. Sandy got so horny she started raping him. While Larry was scoring, he threw the poppedball it the air and it laned on Sponge's dick and his ballsack popped and the ball refilled and repaired itself from the impact. Larry and Sandy almost laughed their asses off. "You love me!!" SpongeBob screamed "And all I had to to was pop my balls and get them to hurt like hell!" he yelled proudly. "I love you, true..." Sandy stated. "But I'm not in love with you and I won't make love with you." Sandy said. "Not even..." SpongeBob said sadly "...no." she finished. "Not even with a Patrick douche." Spongebob cried and had ass sex with his popped ballsack.

An hour later...

"It's time for the surf off!" a old male fish annonced "Now, Larry with his Ab attack!!" Larry Flexed and mooned the croud. The girs crooned and the guys threw up. "Now for Sandy with her Boobie Buster" she flashed her tits to the audience. The girls and gays threw up and the men got a giant boner. Now for SpongeBob and his..." an hot young nurse walked by "You forgot your pills that stop you from talking to yourself out loud" she shoved a few white pills that looked strangley like vigara down his throat. He got a boner and passed out masturbating. SpongeBob's tiny dick with no ballsack made everyone, even the gays throw up. SponegBob fell in the water and washing asore without a pulse. "I think he's dead," the lifeguard stated grimly, who for some reason wasn't Larry because the scriptwriter was a retard and couldn't think of any other ideas. "PARTY!!" he finished shortly after "No, I'm okay." SpongeBob said.

Scooter walked up to him "You are a piece of sh-" A random bell interupted very loudly "-SpongeBob" Scooter finished. "You probably couldn't hear me from the alarm. I mean to say you were a piece of shit" Scooter repeaeted. Everyone hated SpongeBob after thinking he was dead so they wouldn't have to hear his sex with Gary's ass everynight anymore. Especially Gary.

"AM I THE BIGGEST LOSER ON THE BEACH?!?!" He screamed to the heaven "No, of couse not" came a voice from above. "You're the biggest loser on the planet." Spongbob screamed and commited suisuide by cutting his wrist with a toothpick... weakass. "Nice work" the random lifeguard that wasn't Larry said "I doubted you from the start, I'll admit, but... He totally thought you were God. Which is deweird since you don't even speak English. PARTY!!" Someone in a hot air balloon with a megaphone overhead said "Meow."

"C'est fini!!" as the creepy French narrator might say. I think that means "The End!!" or "I'm on crack!!" Eithor one.